The Cat in the Hat on Aging
 

I cannot see.
I cannot pee.
I cannot chew.
I cannot screw.
Oh my goodness, what can I do?
My memory shrinks.
My hearing stinks.
No sense of smell.
I look like hell.
My mood is bad -- can you tell?
My body's drooping.
Have trouble pooping.
The Golden Years have come at last.
The Golden Years can kiss my ass!!!

Too true! I love it....thanks, Red!