FAST FOOD ...
 

"We were taken to a fast-food café where our order was fed into a computer. Our hamburgers, made from the flesh of chemically impregnated cattle, had been broiled over counterfeit charcoal, placed between slices of artificially flavored cardboard, and served to us by recycled juvenile delinquents." --JEAN-MICHEL CHAPEREAU

"Scrambled eggs should never be assembled in vat-sized proportions." --ROY BLOUNT, JR.