Etiquette Question - Sharing Food
 

A good-hearted neighbor of ours enjoys cooking (and knows we don't) so occasionally will bring some home-cooked food over for us, because he's a kind person and it makes him feel good to share. In particular, he seems to think I really like a spicy pork dish and will invariably give us a large bowl of that every time he makes it. Okay, I'm sure at one point my wife and I both told him it was delicious and thanked him very much, because, well, that's what one does after receiving a gift.

Is this something others do for neighbors you're friends with? If so, do you just assume the recipients will like whatever it is? Would you want them to be honest if it wasn't to their taste?

At this point, should we just refuse or continue letting him bring over food that we end up throwing away? We have told him multiple times that it's not necessary, but as I say, it makes him happy.

That's a tough situation. I also share meals with folks. I surely would hope the recipient would tell me the truth.

What a generous neighbor. I cook out of love as well.

How do you feel about telling him a small lie? "It has been recommended I not eat spicy food since it seems to not agree with me."

My husband of 25 years told my mother he loved her pork roast. She has made it for him ever since. He really doesn't like. :)

I don't know if there is a right answer. I have a neighbor who gives us food and I throw it away and clean the bowl the second we receive the gift. I don't want to hurt his feelings but I don't think he seems very clean. I always say thank you and put on a facade like we ate whatever it is that he is proud to share.

I take pure pleasure in sharing extra food with my family and friends too. I can honestly say I'm afraid it would put my nose out of joint if they said they didn't like one of my dishes after they'd accepted it in the past. Right or wrong, I'm being honest with myself and you. I think it would hurt my feelings and I'd be a little offended. Even though the adult in me knows better and knows all of the right answers and would know your intentions were good. I'd rather you had told me in the beginning rather than after you'd accepted the food several times.

I offered homemade turkey soup to a neighbor just this week who is a temporary bachelor. He said no thank you and said he was going up the street for apple pie and was offered chicken soup there and also said no thanks. He just wanted the dessert. I wasn't offended and said maybe next time.

I like the medical excuse idea but I'd tell him before he brought it over again.

I know I'd be hurt if I was told my friend really didn't like something I'd been giving them for awhile but who can argue doctor's orders.

I cook and bake so often, we can not eat everything I make. I also like to experiment and make my neighbors aware whenever they are my guinea pigs. I ask for honest opinions because everyone has different tastes. I feel they give me both positive and negative feedback. I would be very disappointed if they were throwing the food away without trying any of it. I would rather they told me the truth.

Why risk hurting his feelings? He's bringing you food out of the goodness of his heart. Take what he brings and say thank you.

I wish I had neighbor cooking for me. Instead of throwing his food away you can pm me and I'll eat it. Not much time to cook anymore.

Lie if you have to. Don't hurt him.

What a wonderful neighbor you have. Thank him for what you like, say you have allergies to what you don't. Please do it with a huge smile and invite him to dinner at your house, or out to dinner. You have a special neighbor and I would recommend doing everything you can to develop that relationship

I so agree. You've been taking the pork dish for a while. If you tell him now that you don't like it, he'll know he caused you distress all the times he gave it to you. And you don't want him to have to deal with that.

A little white lie like the doctor idea will save hurt feelings.

my sentiments exactly
you got a pal, don't screw that up
you know, you must be special too, or that would never happen

Thanks, BK and others. That's probably what we'll continue doing, too, since we've boxed ourselves in. My wife doesn't eat pork so I know this particular offering is all for me. He used to bring over primarily sweets and baked goods, which we were able to kindly refuse for health reasons, so he mostly sticks to soup now.

Exactly! Boxed himself in!

And I did say our friend enjoys cooking but didn't specify that he's good at it. ;)

my sentiments exactly
you got a pal, don't mess that up
you know, you must be special too and you are not telling us to have someone like that in your life

the kids would say, i am jelly

We have a 92 yr old neighbor who is the biggest sweetheart and will outlive us all! One problem, she continually brings food, mostly goodies over and leaves them on our porch. I have made a ton of excuses about being on a diet etc. but she still does it. One night after hubby and I both got a little annoyed when we came home and there again....more food! I was going to get stern with her and then I thought NO WAY, she is 92 and if it makes her happy and feeling useful, then let her do it. My guess is she just enjoys us making contact and saying thank you. Most goes in the garbage can though, which just kills us....but if we keep eating all the sweets that will kill us too!