What Makes Some People So Unreasonable?
 

I would like to think that as we age, we start to develop a more mellow attitude towards people and life. Whatever happened to compassion and talking to people to learn something about them, and not have an "I" attitude.

Why do some people have a sense of entitlement?

Does everyone rationalize their bad behavior to the point of being boorish?

Al Capone said when he was sent to prison, "I only gave the people what they wanted, "woman and booze"

Does anyone see their real selves, when they look in the mirror?

Jerry Seinfeld just said, "when people reach the age of 65, they think they have earned the right to be a cranky pants".

Curious minds want to know what you think!!!

I learned a different psychology a long time ago than that which is being taught now. We learned we could change just about any behavior with modification and training and therapy. Now it is believed that some behavior can be changed if you deal with young children but some behavior is innate and that certain personality traits are born with you and may be genetic and even can be imaged. A certain area of the brain of a person who is very "social" is larger than that of a person who isn't..

All those words simply mean that some people have always been nice and sensitive to others and some people have always been selfish and demanding. And most people are some of both.

And some behavior is cultural. We can be taught to say please and thank you even if we are a nasty person and we can be taught to say "Move it" even if we are a nice person by growing up in a certain place.

Then there are the mood modifiers of booze and grass and pills

And there are real issues of pain; emotional and physical. and some folks are living with very difficult people and feel trapped because of their age..or didn't plan well or had something awful happen that they don't have as much money now as they'd hoped.

And some people realize that the end of their life is not as far away as it used to be.

I am very pleased you brought up this interesting (to me) topic. Thank you, Joe..

Regret

Paranoid

Jealous

Chemicals

Depression

Godless

Lonely

Poor Health

Two more and you will have the top ten!!!

I really believe we are what we are ................ I believe that if you have gone through life being a decent, kind, thoughtful human being you don't change. You may lose it once in a while when you are pushed to the limit, but on the whole I think nice people stay nice people. :smiley:

On the other hand, if you have had to fight and claw your way through life, you can cover that with a slick exterior for a while, but I do believe that sooner or later when things are not going your way, you become the fight and claw person all over again.

I also believe your true character shows on your face. Your facial lines show whether you are always "down in the mouth", or whether you look for the best in life.:icon_twisted:

I think it also comes through on a chat line in the way one responds to a question posed here.:mad:

"What makes people the way they are " ............ the environment in which you are raised. If you are raised in a loving and giving family, rich or poor, I truly believe you stay that way.

Not to excuse it, but maybe they are damn tired of being bossed around by cranky, stupid people at work or at home.

There's a campaign among feminists to ban the word "bossy" in reference to girls--it hurts their feelings and labels them for a long time into young adulthood. I know from experience how painful labels like that can be.

But I think it's a huge mistake, because somebody needs to be truthful with them. We all know people--both young and old--who need to be told flat out before it becomes their main character trait:

"Quit being so dang BOSSY!"

For certain they're being thought of as a NAG. Those types refuse the fact that other people have their own minds they're free to use.

And by the way, men can be bossy "nags", too.

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The above (///) was not that I posted something mean and took it down. It was a stupid post.

Unless your brain function is altered in some way, I believe we absolutely CHOOSE, in every waking moment how we want to behave.

WHY we choose ANY mood, behavior, presentation or emotional reaction at any given circumstance, is of course as individual as we are, but if you pare it all down to the core, I'd say we behave the way we do because we WANT to... at least in that moment, we want to.

We may change our mind later... or not. We may repeat behavior if it works for us, or drop it if it gets us nowhere. Our choice every time.

We are not born good or bad, smart or dumb, criminal or saint, mean or nice...we are the sum of all of our experiences...for better or worse.

Not only in science but also in life - for every action there is an equal and an opposite reaction; but unlike in science, in life we choose and sometimes unexpectedly experience a reaction that has been formed by our experiences...it's what makes us human rather than droid.

Well before I can offer an opinion I would like to know what the OP's definition of unreasonable?

Let me offer this example. I was at a station yesterday it was quite crowded so I was waiting for a car to exit so I could pull up to the pump. I had been there waiting for at least one minute when some guy pulls up blocking me and the car wanting to exit. He insists that I back up so he could pull into a parking spot. I insist that he back up so the guy could exit and I could pull in. I believe he was unreasonable and I am sure he thought I was unreasonable but he is the one who was blocking both cars. In a fit of anger he backed up slightly and then pulled around my car coming very close to hitting it. He pulled into a parking spot and went into the convenience store. I was entering the store when he came out and he tried to stare me down but I grew up around guys whose stares could run your blood cold. So I looked him in the eye and said "Good morning"

See what I mean

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so is unreasonableness

My version of unreasonableness can be read of the forum every day from someone not being served in a restaurant in ten minutes and leaving, saving seats in the squares, having to pay .50 for an extra cup of something or someone's point of view being marginalized. The best one is being in a store and some people act like they are the only ones in the store, because they are in their own world and "it's all about me" type attitude. The list is endless.

Some people need to get over themselves and start realizing there are other people in the world they should provide kindness, as opposed to being mean. One would do much better by communicating their needs, in a pleasant way.

Life is too short to be too little!!!

The best way to handle unhappy people, that's why I think they may be unreasonable, is to kill them with kindness. If someone is inpatient in a line, I go out of my way to see something that I can compliment them about. It may be a cute hat or well behaved child. The mood switches gears and for that moment, they forget why some small inconvenience annoyed them so much. For the most part, it will divert their attention and I've had some wonderful conversations with total strangers that seemed to be having a bad day.

Part is hereditary; part is experience driven. Nowadays some states are attempting to determine the probability or likelihood of recidivism for convicts under consideration for release from prison based upon the results of psychological evaluations. States predict inmates' future crimes with secretive surveys

Test results will never be 100% foolproof but may prove helpful.

As Uptown Girl talked about we have choices in life. If someone was wronged or hurt, then we have a choice to heal. Some people choose to stay hurt and angry....and that is so very sad.

I cannot imagine waking up everyday with the glass half empty.

I concur totally with your post 2BNTV.



I subscribe and participate in that approach with those that seem to be a little cranky or upset but I also engage the quiet ones as well. It's amazing how many people have something to say when one initiates a conversation. It's all good and life is too short.