The Tates Watch Company
 

Back in the 1800s the “Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts” wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people heading west often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, “He who has a Tates is lost!”

I can't believe I had to google it before I got it. Don't get me wrong, I'll steal it and use it.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

An atom goes to the doctor and says, "I think I lost an electron."

The doctor says, "Are you sure?"

The atom says, "I'm positive."