Paraprosdokians
 

The latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.


1. Where there�s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it�s still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we�d both be wrong.

5. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.

7. They begin the evening news with �Good Evening,� then proceed to
tell you why it isn�t.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, �In case of
emergency, notify:� I put �DOCTOR.�

11. I didn�t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.

14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

15. You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute
to sky dive twice.

16. Money can�t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

17. There�s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can�t get away.

18. I used to be indecisive. Now I�m not so sure.

19. You�re never too old to learn something stupid.

20. Nostalgia isn�t what it used to be.

21. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

22. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

23. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but now it�s getting harder and
harder for me to find one.

Here are a few more (from the Internet)

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


Thanks for the post... always interested in learning new "things"!!

Especially like:
19. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.