Install a new home security system
 

HOW TO INSTALL A Low Cost HOME SECURITY SYSTEM


1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2 . Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


Hey Bubba,


Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.


Better wait outside.


'Cooter'