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bsliny 01-24-2009 05:21 PM

MEN and WOMEN
 
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS


Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________


OFFICE ARITHMETIC


Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________


SHOPPING MATH




A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________




GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS




A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________



HAPPINESS




To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________




LONGEVITY




Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________




PROPENSITY TO CHANGE




A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________




DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE


A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
______________________________________________




HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
GETTING MARRIED


Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.





SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.







:pepper2::pepper2::pepper2::pepper2:









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