One Day On An Airplane
 

A man boarded an aircraft at London and took his seat. As he settled in he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! She took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, “business trip or vacation?”

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in Chicago.”

He swallowed hard, here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What's your business role at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really,” he smiled, “what myths are those?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.”

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. “I'm sorry,” she said, “I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Papadopoulos , but my friends call me Paddy.”

Badda-bump-debump-tishhhhhhhh

Excellent.

:a20::a20:

Visit to a Mall
 

Hill Billy boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button the walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room .
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24 year old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

stuff
 

Oh, that is cute, really stimulating for a senior citizen.
:loco:

:a20::bowdown::bigbow: