Police Officer Test
 

Let's see how many people I can tick off!

>
>
> Police Officer Test
>
> How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?
>
> Consider this test scenario……..
> QUESTION: You're a policeman, on duty by yourself. You are on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you and screaming something that sounds like obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you. You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?
>
> ANSWERS:
>
> Australian Police Officer:
> BANG !
>
> American Police Officer:
> BANG !BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
> BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG! BANG ! BANG!
> 'Click'...Reload... BANG ! BANG !
> BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
>
> Glasgow Police Officer:
> "Haw, Jimmie! . . . Drop the wee knifie reight noo, unless ye want it stuck up yer arse!"

Canadian Police Officer:

Paramount, the Officer must consider the man's human rights:
1) Does the man look poor and/or oppressed?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
5) Am I dressed provocatively?
6) Could I run away?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?
8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job,my credibility and the loss of my family home?

Not sure if that is accurate but it is amusing especially the Canadian going all Hamlet. There are many retired cops in the Villages. I have met a half dozen or so in person.

:evil6:

I would modify the American one to:

American Police Officer:
BANG !BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG! BANG ! BANG!
'Click'...Reload... BANG ! BANG !
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !

Drop that knife!

That is also a good one.

I liked the one from Glasgow ! :a20:

Me too! Plus, for some reason, "arse" is such a more dramatic/comical term than "a$$." Probably because we don't use it very much.
:police:

Luv it.

And the Italian police officer would:

Piasano Piasnao Basta! Basta! (enough) Whatsa matter with you no eata today? come home with me Mamma makea you a dish of pasta a little vino and then I havea to arrest you for carrying a deadly weapon

!!!

More than you know.
 

There are several hundred retired law enforcement officers in The Villages who do the annual federal pistol re-qualification so they can carry a concealed firearm under the provisions of the Law Enforcement Officer's Safety Act.

And, of course, there are many others who do not avail themselves of the federal law and either obtain a state concealed weapons license or chose not to carry a firearm.

I am friends with retired police officers of both persuasions, but most of my closer friends are those who chose to carry.

ciao, ciao, ciao CFrance

I think the Scottish police office had the right approach --- spoken as a Canadian! :pepper2: