Signs of getting old in men
 

you've got more hair in your ears & nose than you have on your head

Buicks are starting to look better

Belly hides your toes from view

1. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

2. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

3. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.

4. Your little black book contains only names that end in M.D.

5. Your children begin to look middle aged.

6. You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

7. Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

8. You look forward to a dull evening.

9. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today."

10. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

11. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

12. Your knees buckle, and your belt won't.

14. You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 95 around the golf course.

15. Your back goes out more than you do.

17. Your Pacemaker makes the garage doors go up when you see a pretty girl.

18. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife.

19. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.

20. You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

21. You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friends who exercise.

22. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

23. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

24. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

25. You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

26. You are proud of your lawn mower.

27. Your best friend is dating someone half his age...and isn't breaking any laws.

28. You call Olan Mills before they call you.

29. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

30. You sing along with the elevator music.

31. You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

32. You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

33. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

34. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

35. You make an appointment to see the dentist.

36. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

37. Neighbors borrow your tools.

38. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

39. You have a dream about prunes.

40. You answer a question with, "because I said so."

41. You send money to PBS.

42. The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

43. You take a metal detector to the beach.

44. You wear black socks with sandals.

45. You know what the word "equity" means.

46. You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch TV.

47. Your ears are hairier than your head.

48. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

49. You got cable for the weather channel (sometimes referred to as "Old Folks MTV").

50. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

51. When you bend over, you look for something else to do while you're down there.

Every day is a weekend day.

Hot young women address you as sir.

When you need your glasses, more than sex. :D

I noticed more people calling me sir as I hit my 60’s.

You're so old that you fart dust.

When you need half a Viagra a day so you won't pee on your shoes.

BK001 took some of my good thunder - - she has a number of good ones. But for me - - it’s when you would rather play nine holes of golf instead of eighteen.

At 80 I am now probably the oldest male in our CYV community. Thoroughly enjoyed BK001s post . Much truth. Wife (of 57 yrs) and I still play golf together about 4 times a week(9 holes) an I sneak in 18 about once a week. New acquaintances are often surprised when we speak about how long we have been married or how old our kids are. Almost all of those with whom we play are 8-10 years younger. Life is great in The Villages. Don't mind being called old man by friends(I am) and being the subject of other typical old age jokes. They make me chuckle as did the OP here. Now , the other side of the story. I particularly resent being referred to by a few younger people as "young man" . Happens frequently, and is IMHO quite patronizing. Sometimes it is in a mocking tone. Most older men that I have spoken to generally agree that it doesn't endear them to the greeter.

Great
 

Thanks for making me 😊

When you think Viagra is for younger men

When you wear suspenders and a belt with your blue jeans

How about this:The Amazon Echo Silver SNL -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk

Amazon Echo Silver: One of my favorite devices, reimagined for seniors :1rotfl:

For Villagers:

52. When you color coordinate your shirt to your baseball cap.
53. When you forget to plug your golf cart charger in.
54. When you realize that your favorite Village line dance is the 'shuffle.'
55. When you get winded at bunko.
56. When your server has to turn down her hearing aid to hear your order.
57. When your grandkids favorite game is find grandpas glasses.
58. When getting lost is no longer an adventure.
59. When a walk once around the Square equals a mile.
60. When you always order the soup of the day.
61. When you realize you can cheat on steps for your Fitbit by waving.
62. When you ask where is the balcony at Katie Belles.
63. When you forget the one you just made up before you could type it.