Some Good Things About Global Warming
 

Penguins discover that when they're not shivering, they can fly after all.

Kids can lay on their backs and make "dead grass angels" in the yard.

Eskimos will be warm enough to rub a lot more than noses.

Iceland will be renamed simply "Land."

Avalanches will only bury people up to their ankles.

The Abominable Snowman will become just another abominable guy.

Never again hear the phrase: "Your food is getting cold."

Eskimos' 39 different words for snow can be replaced with the single word "puddle."

Debate over whether any two snowflakes are identical comes to an end.

Jack Frost stops nipping at your nose, switches to spying on you in your swimsuit.

Santa's elves can take off their heavy coats and go back to being leprechauns.

With no need to hibernate, bears finally catch up on chores they've been "meaning to get to."

"Seeing your breath" becomes clear evidence of a hygiene problem.

New holiday TV specials like "The Sunscreen That Saved Christmas."

Unemployed Saint Bernards start bringing rum to those "buried in paperwork."

Never wince again when someone says "Ant-ar-tic" instead of "Ant-arc-tic."

Hottentots will simply be called "Tots."

Hawaii tourism booms with slogan "It's Too Hot To Wear Our Grass Skirts."

Plenty of hot water for shower, no matter which knob you turn.

Brass monkeys lose their fear of winter.

"Baked Alaska" promoted from dessert to state motto.*

Snowbirds figure it's warm everywhere so the might as well stay in Florida year round.

Global warming
 

Did you write this? Wicked good. There's money in writing jokes for stand-up comedians.

Nope. Stole it from the internet like most jokes you read here. I believe it was written by Stilton Jarlsburg.

Another good thing about global warming?
It gives people with nothing else to do.....something to do.

:)

There is money to be made.