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NYNative55 09-04-2020 07:21 AM

Contemplating a move to The Villages
 
I have family members who live in TV, & as I near retirement it’s an affordable option for me as well.

As a single gay man, I wonder whether it’s a good fit for me. I know there’s an active, officially sanctioned gay Resident Lifestyle group, but I’d still be in the minority in TV. I’ve visited a number of times, but it’s not easy to gauge what it would be like for me to live there.

I’m fit & active & know there are any number of activities that might appeal to someone who’s friendly, but an introvert, who just wants to live a peaceful, quiet life. I’ve been very fortunate throughout my life, & not experienced overt or discriminatory homophobia or a fear of living my life openly. Now is not the time for that to change.

I was reluctant to post this & generally avoid posting to forums or any form of social media, since threads can quickly turn negative. However, this is such an important decision, I feel compelled to try. I look forward to, & appreciate your honest, thoughtful comments. Thank you.

davem4616 09-04-2020 07:59 AM

I truly believe that you would enjoy life in TV. We're a straight couple, have been here 3+ years now and haven't come across many 'judgmental' people, most folks seem to be secure in who they are, are looking to enjoy life and are sociable toward one another.

The new lofts in Brownwood may give you a rental option vs. immediately buying...nothing like a 6 month test drive to really check it out....just a thought.

LuvtheVillages 09-04-2020 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davem4616 (Post 1828006)
I truly believe that you would enjoy life in TV. We're a straight couple, have been here 3+ years now and haven't come across many 'judgmental' people, most folks seem to be secure in who they are, are looking to enjoy life and are sociable toward one another.

The new lofts in Brownwood may give you a rental option vs. immediately buying...nothing like a 6 month test drive to really check it out....just a thought.

Just a thought


Renting before buying is an excellent suggestion. It will give you a longer opportunity to gauge for yourself how you will fit in. I think you will find it to be a good fit.

However, the Lofts at Brownwood require a 1 year lease. Look into renting a home.

charlieo1126@gmail.com 09-04-2020 08:15 AM

I know some gay people here , some are out and very open about it and some that don’t hide from it but don’t advertise. You might even have a lot les problems then I do as a str8 man , you see I’m a democrat and I left of center one lol . So come on down you’ll enjoy the villages and there is a home price level for everyone and a social life to find for you

Stu from NYC 09-04-2020 09:23 AM

New here and know nothing about gay life here but would rent for a period of time before deciding it is the place for you.

We rented for a month and happy living here for past 7 months but sorry we did not rent for longer period of time to better guide us in size of house we bought.

Should have bought larger house. As a result will be converting lanai to Florida room for more space.

mamamia54 09-04-2020 10:53 AM

I think you should do fine. We are all here to just enjoy a good life that we worked for. Last time I checked God didn’t appoint me judge of others, lol!

John41 09-04-2020 12:37 PM

We have gay friends who enjoyed living here but found most of the gay social clubs were for lesbians not gay men so much. Most people here don’t care if you are gay and will include you in their social activities. However there are a few intolerant people so you want to check out the area by renting first.

Gonavy 09-04-2020 02:33 PM

haters are going to hate...come on down....there are enough gays here...you won't even notice the mean muggers.

Boomer 09-04-2020 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYNative55 (Post 1827973)
I have family members who live in TV, & as I near retirement it’s an affordable option for me as well.

As a single gay man, I wonder whether it’s a good fit for me. I know there’s an active, officially sanctioned gay Resident Lifestyle group, but I’d still be in the minority in TV. I’ve visited a number of times, but it’s not easy to gauge what it would be like for me to live there.

I’m fit & active & know there are any number of activities that might appeal to someone who’s friendly, but an introvert, who just wants to live a peaceful, quiet life. I’ve been very fortunate throughout my life, & not experienced overt or discriminatory homophobia or a fear of living my life openly. Now is not the time for that to change.

I was reluctant to post this & generally avoid posting to forums or any form of social media, since threads can quickly turn negative. However, this is such an important decision, I feel compelled to try. I look forward to, & appreciate your honest, thoughtful comments. Thank you.


Hi NYNative55,

I have a suggestion for you that might help you find more specific information. We all need community, and The Villages is so big that sometimes it can take a while for anyone new to the place to find a sense of belonging. But that can be the case with any move.

You have asked a question that is close to my heart so I want to try to help you.

I think you might be able to find out some of the things you want to know by contacting the United Church of Christ at The Villages. The church is located on CR 101, just outside TV, in Oxford, FL.

On their website, there is a section titled, "Our Faith Is 2000 Years old. Our Thinking Is Not."

No matter what your religious background might be, or whether or not you have one, or even want one, I feel certain that you can find some guidance for life in TV for the gay community if you contact this church and perhaps have a talk with the pastor. Reading through their website will help you to decide if you want to do that.

The United Church of Christ has roots that go back a long way -- to the Congregational Church, which was widely established in the Plymouth Colony. Through a merger in the late 1950s, the Congregational Church became the United Church of Christ.

As has occurred in many Protestant, mainline denominations during the end of the last century and into this one, controversary has caused some congregations to split over gay rights. I guess you could say the United Church of Christ went through a stage where they became the Untied Church of Christ.

Now, the United Church of Christ uses a designation (ONA) meaning "Open and Affirming" for congregations, campus ministries, and other bodies of the UCC which make a public covenant of welcome into their full life and ministry to persons of all sexual orientation, gender identities, and gender expressions.

Not all UCC congregations have that designation, but the one in TV does. There is a section "Are You New to UCC?" on their website that can tell you more about the denomination, and the website overall will give you a lot of information about the local congregation.

(I grew up in the United Church of Christ. But now we are Episcopalians. We went through a long Lutheran phase (ELCA) but when this issue reared its ugly head in our congregation up north, we left. I guess we Protestants are not known as Protestants for nothing. The range of Protestant denominations encompasses just that -- a range. Ever since 500 years ago, when Martin Luther nailed that stuff to the church door, Protestants have been finding their individual ways.)

Please understand that I am not trying to "sign you up" for some church. What I am trying to do is to help you to figure out where to learn more about what you need to know before making the big decision about where to retire.

Love is love. :) And here's your link:

United Church of Christ at The villages - Home

Boomer

Halibut 09-05-2020 12:55 AM

Have your family members been able to offer any advice? They know you and what The Villages has to offer.

I'm sure the various singles clubs would welcome you for friendship and group activities, should you so desire.

You'd need to leave The Villages for any dedicated gay nightlife, but Orlando isn't too far. If your general preference is for quieter activities and internal contentment, then this could be as good a place as any.

As for any possible prejudice, I highly doubt people would say something rude to your face any more than they would where you live now.

But certainly try before you buy! That goes for everybody.

guppyvii 09-05-2020 05:22 AM

Welcome!! Someone posted this link in a Villages facebook group today. The group has over 2000 member both LGBTQ and family/friends. The events are limited due to covid.
Rainbow Family - Home

Rwirish 09-05-2020 05:32 AM

Great place to live other then being too big and crowded.

Colby 09-05-2020 05:44 AM

I sincerely believe you would be able to find the peaceful life you envision here. My husband and I know and have socialized with 4 couples and 1 single woman in our Village alone and being gay has just been a non factor in all aspects of what the Villages offers. I hope you’ll come and see for yourself.

drgoofy 09-05-2020 05:53 AM

Really no different here
 
My wife (also a woman) and I moved here about 2 years ago. We don't hide, but aren't "in your face" either. Our social interactions pre Covid included mainly card groups and pickleball. We are happy here and have faced no overt discrimination. Most everyone is very nice and friendly. Your relatives hopefully can help introduce you to others who are non judgemental. I have always felt that's the best I can hope for. We have a few gay friends but not too many. We have straight friends who have embraced us and for that we are very thankful. After Covid we look forward to making more connections. I don't wish to get political, but if you join the Democrat group, you will easily encounter plenty of welcoming people. If you enjoy The Villages lifestyle in general, you should be happy here. Renting is a good idea; however, we bought a house during our one week Lifestyle visit. Best wishes.

Robyn1963 09-05-2020 06:01 AM

I can’t speak for specific groups because I am accepting of everyone so I do not notice if you are gay or straight etc.

I can tell you from my experience I am a single woman and most residents in the villages are couples, and many widowed individuals.

I believe you would be accepted in any community here in The Villages. There are so many activities and if you like to be active in sporting events this is the place to be you will not be disappointed.

I and a Realtor. Let me know if I can help


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