Actual Newspaper Headlines
 

I think they need an English Major to proofread newspaper headlines!

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called
the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!
They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!


War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!



Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
Oklahoma's construction program!


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!


TTyphoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

Years ago, I worked as a proofreader (yes, Tony, it is true) for the fourth largest print shop in Florida. My resume qualified me for a position (not proofreading) that wouldn't be opened for a few months. They hired me with the understanding that when the woman went on permanent leave, my job would change from proofreader to her position.

About two weeks into the proofreading gig, I was looking over a menu we'd printed and I'd proofed the night before. It was a restaurant Paul Newman frequented when he was in town.

I looked and the proof said, "shrimp cockatil sauce." I panicked and asked my boss if it was too late to change something. Well, it was too late to change the menus, but not my position. I was immediately put into my new job and they hired a new proofreader.

I wonder how many of those headlines will be on Jay Leno in the upcoming weeks.