Message from an old friend
 

I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

So sorry for your losses. Ignore him.

I understand why this would bother you as it would me too. Get off social media...it isn't worth the stress.

Facebook? Oh, my.
PM him back and say, " Still feeling my loss. Too soon for me to get involved in others problems. Sorry." , then block him from your account.
This sounds to me like maybe he sees you as a sensitive soft touch for money. If you haven't seen either for 20 years, then you are not that close. No call here.

Three very good answers.

I do not see how it would hurt to reach out and discuss your mutual grief.

However if you do not want to do it, dont do it.

Facebook.....need anymore be said!!!
Publicly expose your personal information? Live with the result.

Is this guy being inconsiderate, maybe but most likely not , after all you are having some kind of connection through Facebook. The sister may be like many as they get older who seem to think the past was always better , for some it might be , but mostly it’s just the past. I’m sorry for what you have gone through and everyone processes grief different, but maybe a call to his sister may help her with a minute or two of forgetting about her health issues by talking about for her were sweet moments , maybe it will help you or maybe not , the choice is yours to make

we all would handle this differently. So if you don't want to , don't, delete message and let it go. no need to delete Him as a FB friend he meant well. If he says anything just say I'm not ready right now, I'm sure you can understand... period. or just don't respond to the message, not everyone responds back when they write to someone. you don 't need this stress right now.

Yes, I did try that at first. I told him politely that I went through a lot with my brother and niece and the sicknesses that they had. He did not seem to get it. He message me back with their phone numbers. I then message him again and told him I am not ready for anymore grief right now and put him on ignore on messenger. There is more to it. I heard through a mutual friend that his sister got involved in drugs. I do not need that stress. Plus, I would feel funny calling someone after so many years. He also told me not to tell her that he told me to call her and not to mention her health issues, which I do not know what they are. Just too suspicious to me. After all, I do not know them that well anymore.

This is exactly why I don't use ANY social media's.

Well, I am only on FB for connection to my family which is spread all over the country. So, I simply set my profile to ONLY allow my friends to see or communicate with me. Problem solved.

You don't deserve the response you received. Strange things happen on Facebook. I wish I could tell you how to block the person who is bothering you but I have done the blocking myself but it was by trial and error.

Sorry for your loss. The answer for the other person lies elsewhere, don't feel bad for a second. You did the correct thing by asking for advice on here. It's one of many resources when you need a helping hand. :pray:

Yet you are on TOTV...not too different.

To the OP...ignore everything.

Yes, I thought about deactivating my Facebook account, but I will miss the family pictures that get posted, and I do try to wish my family Happy Birthdays as Facebook is good at reminding me of birthdays. I have a big family. It is this just this one person. I did feel bad, but he made me feel bad. I do not want to call anyone I haven’t seen or talk to for 20 years. Before that meeting when we met, I saw them last when we were kids, 25 years before.

This is social media also. There is a risk with social media.