Has anyone been kidnapped?
 

On my favorite news stations, I have heard that our governor has been kidnapping people and sending them to Martha's Vineyard.

Is that really true? Have any of your neighbors suddenly gone missing?

In the meantime, I am staying inside behind locked doors.

I truly hope you are joking, especially about staying behind locked doors. Nobody has been "kidnapped". There are illegal aliens that have been sent to northern states to make a political statement, but your neighbors are not disappearing.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen my neighbor George in a while. God I hope they took him.