Wal-Mart Incident
 

I was pushing a cart through Wal-Mart and while turning a corner, a guy bumped into me with his cart. Being polite, I said "Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking for my wife and not paying attention." He said, "I was looking for my wife too, why don't we just look together?" and I said "OK".

The guy said "What does your wife look like?". So I described her: "She's quite a bit younger than me, 5'3", blonde hair to her shoulders, alluring green eyes, full lips and a great shape that just doesn't quit. What does your wife look like?"

The guy replied "Well, let's find your wife first, then we'll look for mine."

My wife said, "You're gonna drive me to my grave". I said, "Don't move- I'll get the car".