If I were a car
 

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...
But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it -


Almost every time I sneeze, cough or splutter, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

well, you know, Tom, the minute they wheeled you out of that hospital you were born in your value dropped 75%.:22yikes:

And it's been downhill ever since.

Just make sure NOT to follow along if someone suggests getting your ball joints replaced........................WHOA!! :wave:

Bill

Dreamed I got locked inside the Midas Muffler shop last night . . . woke up exhausted!

:agree: Very funny.