![]() |
Gettin old aint for sissies....
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know..' 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 'Because she can still drive!' A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty..' JC Norris, an 68 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Mr. Norris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Mr. Norris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Mr. Norris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' One more. . .! A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.' |
:jester:
Ed you are on a roll this morning. :a20::a20::a20: |
I don't know about you but I am now in to my Heavy Metal Years.
Silver in my hair, gold in my teeth and lead in my butt. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
:a20::a20::a20::a20::a20::a20::a20::a20::a20::a20:
|
Hahahahahahahahah, good ones!
Even I will be able to remember those!
|
Ed ran into Tom on the golf course, and said "Hey, Tom, haven't seen you for a while. Was that you I saw across the square the other day with a pretty young thing on your arm?"
"Sure was, and actually, that was my new wife. She's only 30," said Tom. "Thirty?! I mean, you look great for your age, Tom, but we're both in our seventies - how did you get such a young girl to marry you?" "Easy. I lied about my age." "So I guess you lied and told her you're in your fifties, right?" "Heck, no. I told her I was 95." |
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:41 PM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Search Engine Optimisation provided by
DragonByte SEO v2.0.32 (Pro) -
vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.