How to start a fight
 

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

:a20::a20::a20:

:1rotfl: :1rotfl: :1rotfl:

These are funny.
 

The Feral Irishman: HOW TO START A FIGHT

A sample:

"My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started..."