Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Giving an opinion is scary (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/giving-opinion-scary-78753/)

Warren Kiefer 05-28-2013 06:41 PM

Giving an opinion is scary
 
Is a complaint anything more than someone giving an opinion. For sake of discussion lets call them complaints. Many times complaints lead to progress, especially if enough people voice the same complaint. The Civil Rights Movement comes to mind. But, I am shocked at times when someone offers up a "complaint" and the resulting attack by so many of their fellow residents. This seems especially true when someone "complains" about something in the Villages community. I cannot count how many times someone replys to the op why don't you just move ..... Many of tthe attackers are repeaters. Why not let the "complainer" express himself and everyone else not join in the gang attack.

gomoho 05-28-2013 06:47 PM

Warren - I think it all comes down to how the complaint is expressed. Some folks read things into a post that really aren't there (me included) and then all hell breaks loose. I agree we need to voice opinions because if enough people are on board we can bring about a change - but, if the OP is immediately attacked for their post we are on a dead end street.

golf4me 05-28-2013 07:05 PM

What if, as it so often happens, that the complaint is one is a long series of jabs against this place. What if the poster rarely has anything positive to say and seems to have a way of saying things that really incite anger?

What can ANYONE do if the place they call home and like very much doesn't measure up to what another poster thinks is the dream of the original developer?

What can anyone do if they want an indoor pool? This is not a voting entity.

What can anyone do about a very used and sometimes ill used by rookie golfers, golf course that is appearing shabby?

What can anyone do if there is a segment of the population that refuses to obey traffic rules and drives in such a way as to endanger the majority of us who do drive safely?

What can anyone do about bringing restaurants or shops or groceries to this area?

What can the people who do like the editorial slant of the paper do for those who don't?

gomoho 05-28-2013 07:15 PM

golf4me - what they can do is express their frustration on here and get beat up for having said frustration. Hey - we are all human beings with different levels of tolerance. My mother use to say "one man's junk is another man's treasure" and so goes it on TOTV. We should respect each other - if there is someone in particular that pushes your buttons use your "ignore" capability and let them vent.

I kind of enjoy the back and forth, but maybe I am thicked skinned. Just kind of get a charge out of people getting all worked up about things. Then again it's probably 'cause I grew up Italian and that is what we did!!!

sandybill2 05-28-2013 07:44 PM

Know what you are talking about. I am very leery of posting any responses--even though I love this site and all of the advice, etc., that I can glean from it. I posted a comment about lack of Blackberries at the Blackberry Festival at the American Legion which my husband is a member of because of his Military Service------ Comment was made that "we" were obviously not "good members" because we didn't know what door to go into at the building. Still don't know how my comment----ended up challenging what kind of Members we were----- But I don't let these comments bother me----we continue to love The Village Life-----and this site. Just have to consider the source and those that are just waiting in the wings to make a comment----

asianthree 05-28-2013 07:48 PM

if everyone thought the same life would be boring...too old for things to be scary...an opinion is an opinion..not like someone is going to knock on your door...

jtdraig 05-28-2013 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren Kiefer (Post 683584)
Is a complaint anything more than someone giving an opinion. For sake of discussion lets call them complaints. Many times complaints lead to progress, especially if enough people voice the same complaint. The Civil Rights Movement comes to mind. But, I am shocked at times when someone offers up a "complaint" and the resulting attack by so many of their fellow residents. This seems especially true when someone "complains" about something in the Villages community. I cannot count how many times someone replys to the op why don't you just move ..... Many of tthe attackers are repeaters. Why not let the "complainer" express himself and everyone else not join in the gang attack.

I have to agree. I have posted a few things over the years trying to be helpful because I actually knew about the issue or I had an actual solution based on experience. The snipers come out. So I honestly, don't pay much attention to them. If they don't like it, tough...well, you know. Further, it reflects on them more than on me. :beer3:

mommieswamie 05-28-2013 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gomoho (Post 683597)
golf4me - what they can do is express their frustration on here and get beat up for having said frustration. Hey - we are all human beings with different levels of tolerance. My mother use to say "one man's junk is another man's treasure" and so goes it on TOTV. We should respect each other - if there is someone in particular that pushes your buttons use your "ignore" capability and let them vent.

I kind of enjoy the back and forth, but maybe I am thicked skinned. Just kind of get a charge out of people getting all worked up about things. Then again it's probably 'cause I grew up Italian and that is what we did!!!

I think I must be thin-skinned. Some of what I read here that others have commented on and some of the responses to me have reduced me to tears. On the other hand, I have been quite comforted by some responses here and in turn I have really tried to help other posters here when I could.

Mikeod 05-28-2013 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gomoho (Post 683597)
golf4me - what they can do is express their frustration on here and get beat up for having said frustration. Hey - we are all human beings with different levels of tolerance. My mother use to say "one man's junk is another man's treasure" and so goes it on TOTV. We should respect each other - if there is someone in particular that pushes your buttons use your "ignore" capability and let them vent.

I kind of enjoy the back and forth, but maybe I am thicked skinned. Just kind of get a charge out of people getting all worked up about things. Then again it's probably 'cause I grew up Italian and that is what we did!!!

I somewhat agree with your post. I like to discuss issues, but what I run into are posters who present opinions about various topics like diet, golf conditions, restaurants, etc. and when presented with differing opinions or possible explanations dismiss them or describe the poster as out of touch with reality, head in the sand, etc. I see this frequently and it does neither proponents or opponents any good. Real discussion requires people with the intent to present an opinion and listen to opposing or different opinions with an open mind.

However, I don't like to get someone into a lather. I don't think it serves either side to do that. Sometimes it occurs without intent, but it shouldn't be a goal.

jtdraig 05-28-2013 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommieswamie (Post 683635)
I think I must be thin-skinned. Some of what I read here that others have commented on and some of the responses to me have reduced me to tears. On the other hand, I have been quite comforted by some responses here and in turn I have really tried to help other posters here when I could.

None of these people are worth being reduced to tears. Not one of them.

mommieswamie 05-28-2013 11:26 PM

So True
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jtdraig (Post 683711)
None of these people are worth being reduced to tears. Not one of them.

So true - I am just tired, very tired, and with more to face in the "golden years" than I ever imagined.

Barefoot 05-28-2013 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asianthree (Post 683623)
if everyone thought the same life would be boring...too old for things to be scary...an opinion is an opinion..not like someone is going to knock on your door...

I think it's important to keep things in perspective. TOTV is merely an internet chat site. There are thousands of chat sites available on the internet. Some people who post on TOTV are funny, some are compassionate, some are brilliant and creative, others are argumentative. At the end of the day, the site is here for our light reading pleasure. I don't think anyone intends to be mean. As Asian says "too old for things to be scary".

tippyclubb 05-29-2013 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren Kiefer (Post 683584)
Is a complaint anything more than someone giving an opinion. For sake of discussion lets call them complaints. Many times complaints lead to progress, especially if enough people voice the same complaint. The Civil Rights Movement comes to mind. But, I am shocked at times when someone offers up a "complaint" and the resulting attack by so many of their fellow residents. This seems especially true when someone "complains" about something in the Villages community. I cannot count how many times someone replys to the op why don't you just move ..... Many of tthe attackers are repeaters. Why not let the "complainer" express himself and everyone else not join in the gang attack.


Warren no disrespect to you but, I have a hard time understanding why anyone complains about anything in The Villages.

rubicon 05-29-2013 03:49 AM

Complaining is part of human beings nature beginning as when infants only means of communicating was to cry and whine in order to let people know how they were feeling. People complain for various reasons and I suspect even if they found themselves in Heaven they would find something to complain about.

Also as nature intended people are very different. as such they view situations differently and they expressed themselves differently. Likewise people on the receiving end interpret people's complaints differently. Depending on temperment from the sending/receiving the resultsrange from I feel your pain to some people are never satisfied.

Personally in most situations I have found it beneficial to hear out complaints even if I interprete them not legitimate because I either learned something new about the person or I learned something new.

I opine you decide

jblum315 05-29-2013 04:53 AM

Don't we all have a relative or friend that everybody else says "Oh she will find something to complain about" or "Joan is so picky she won't like it."


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