How girls crack a coconut
 

Buy a narrow coconut with a noticeably pointy end.
Place coconut pointy end into "insinkerator."
(would you like being stuck into a "garbage disposal?")
Use Phillips head of electric screwdriver to drill open one hole
This only works on one hole.
Use hammer and small Phillips driver to open second hole.
If this does not work, say, honey, where's your electric drill?
With two holes open turn coconut over, notice two eyes and a mouth.
Name the coconut.....Chanel has already been taken.
Place Coconut Chanel (or ____) face down in a glass or mug.
Chanel is weeping. Pat her gently. Apologize.
Say, "Honey this nut is just too much for me to crack".
Cover your ears. :yuck:
Collect Chanel's broken body in your No. 5 perfume box for burial,
but don't tell Honey, the murderous cad over there munching has a nut of his own.