Hesitant about moving to TV
 

This is the 2nd trip for my husband and myself. I must say that our stay in the Sullivan Villas was more friendly with the neighbors than our current stay in Mallory Hills. When we are out and about in TV everyone is very friendly and more than willing to provide us with info about The Villages. But here it seems everyone puts their heads down when we ride by. As far as I know I know absolutely no one down here and i'm friendly but not extremely outgoing and I am concerned that it would be a while before I would join in, in the activities. The hardest part about considering to move is leaving my 7 kids and 13 grandchildren. How do you make the break?

Chris, you are not alone! There are many people in your same situation ... it is very hard to just take the plunge! My husband and I are set to close in August on a pre-owned home. We still have to sell our current home in Atlanta, get my husband retired, and figure out how our move will affect holidays with our five children (2 grands)! I cannot retire yet as I am 12 years younger than my husband so we also will become a " commuter marriage" for a while! So you see, things could be worse. Our two visits down to TV were amazing. You WILL meet many nice folks and joining clubs will be easy --we went to two meetings and were met with open arms. If you are shy about joining a group look me up! I will attempt to work in Atlanta Tues-Thursday and have 4 days off. I plan on joining some clubs immediately (Zumba, scrapbooking, line dance, crafts ... just to name a few!) Our kids will love visiting, and Camp Villages is something for the grandkids to look forward to every summer. It's time for YOU now Chris! Just take a deep breath and jump right in ... the water's fine!

hi
 

Just sent you a pm...

Moving
 

We bought because friends were already owners. We left for home the same day that we closed and did not come back until January. The friends that we were planning to do thing with we're unable to come down at all, we were fortunate to have purchased in a a new neighborhood and got involved with the other new people and had a good time.

hi
 

sent another pm

the only way you can only not make friends here is to intentionally try not to. it's virtually impossible unless you work hard at staying in the house.

To be honest, while The Villages is nice and pretty and active, there is no way in hell I would leave 7 kids and 13 grandchildren for golf and strangers.

Chris.

It may NOT be time to leave your home and family. If you are not comfortable here, that could be a sign. This place is a wonderful place for many, but not for all.

There is no hurry. There will be homes if and when you change your mind.

It may be hard to invite a bunch of strangers to your home first, but I did and it worked out very well. I just knocked on the doors of the folks who lived around us and said to come for coffee at two the next day and went and got too many coffee cakes at Publix and people came and we got to know each other.

In any club or meeting, usually if you say, I am new here, folks are so eager to help you feel comfortable.

But if the real thing is your large and loved family, don't leave them.

Or perhaps buy a smaller home for part time.

how do your kids feel...ours want us to live where we can enjoy life...our grandkids are so busy they barely have a few hours a week even in the summer...we plan on comming part time for a while...not because of our kids or grandchildren but just not ready to change our lives

.......

I agree with Gracie. If you are hesitant, your gut is telling you that you are not in harmony with this possible next step. Harmony is what makes us feel good and thoughts of moving here should feel good.

Allow yourself a bit of time to think about what scenario will provide the best surroundings and lifestyle you want (and why). Perhaps really understanding that will guide you better than any outside influences could.

Best wishes to you.
:)

It could be that two visits just isn't enough to make a decision.
You may be happier just being a snowbird and NOT moving to
T.V. permanently.
Take your time and listen to your heart.

We have five sons and ten grandchildren so I feel your pain. At the same time I feel the strong pull of the Villages. I was totally sold on the Villages the minute we came here. Not so my wife, (is this beginning to sound familiar?) she was concerned about moving to a new place and was also torn about moving away from some of our grandchildren. Some are around the Boston area where we live now, but others are a twelve hour drive away in Pittsburgh. We are moving at the end of the month to the Villages.

The key for us was that I need a lot of activity to stay contented and spending the winter up in New Hampshire all alone watching TV was sending me crazy. I think my wife is moving mostly for me, but I am beginning to feel she too is ready for adventure. She opposed almost all the moves we ever made. Some were corporate moves, others not. We have been in this house for 24 years. I would say most objections to change are really fear based. Will I like it there? Will I fit in? Will I miss my family all the time? But for me the chance to
change the direction of our lives is just so exciting I can't resist. I ride a motorcycle and there is nothing like riding down a steep grade and curving around some wild roads. My wife, on the other hand, gets scared, so she doesn't ride with me.

Anyway, we have agreed to come back often to visit our family. Flights are
inexpensive. We also plan to go on a road trip each summer and visit each of our children for three to four days so 5 children x4 days equals 20 days. We will then go sightseeing to Canada or Maine and then catch them all on the
way back to Florida. That is another 20 nights with our children. So you can see we will be on the road for 2 to 3 months.

Another thing that allayed my wife's fears is that I said if we don't like it we can always come back. The nice thing about this move in my mind is that we will no longer favor the family around Boston, but will more evenly distribute our attentions. That seems much fairer to me. I love my family as much as anyone, but I also have a sense of adventure and I want to lead a healthy
active life. I think my wife will also benefit from this change. I am beginning to see positive things happening already to her. She had gotten herself too deep in responsibility in a local church and she had become more like an employee than a volunteer. She is the type of person manipulative people know how to overwork with effusive compliments. She is starting to see that you don't have to work all the time. You can take time for yourself and have some fun. You don't really have that much time left.

The family can also visit us in the Villages. Who doesn't like Disneyworld?

Happydaz.

I understand your wife's hesitancy and I am the least adventurous of the two of us. Sweetie has led me on to all kinds of interesting adventures and some I didn't like ever.

I think that it is in part the ying vs yang, the estrogen vs. testosterone and the hunter gatherer instinct vs. the nesting, protecting, guiding one.

I truly did NOT think my kids and grandkids could get on without me, and my filling their gas tanks and slipping them a few bucks when they were short...but they are doing all right and so am I. I understand just how your wife feels.

But the male female thing and attitude toward adventure, even that, I am a wuss.

But the world needs a few wusses, I hope.

I am stuck being me.

What a great upbeat post Mr. Happy! I think almost everyone can relate to the fears of leaving the familar for the unknown. As has been said many times before, in all sorts of threads on TOTV, attitude is everything. If you really don't want to be in TV, then you won't be content living here.