[deb133]

My husband, mother and I purchased a home two years ago and were planning our move to the villages. My husband and mother were patiently waiting for me to retire in April. Unfortunately, my mother was diagnosed with a soft tissue sarcoma of the leg in November and it has been a nightmare for us since then. I retired shortly thereafter in order to take care of her. Up until November my 82 year old mother was in excellent health and my husband and I had no concerns about her living with us because she was very capable of taking care of herself. In February the surgeon had to take a significant amout of muscle out of her leg in order to remove the tumor. It appears as though she will be confined to a wheelchair. I know that I will have to make a lot of changes to my home and car to make appropriate accomodations. I may also need some help finding a home health worker to assist me with her around the house. Is there anyone out there with a similar issue? Is there a support group for caregivers? I am feeling a lot of pressure lately. Can anyone offer some advice, as I have never faced these challenges before. I do not know where to begin since we will be living in a new place...

[salpal]

There is a support group called "Parents in the Home". It meets at Chatham on Tuesday afternoons. I am not sure how often they meet, perhaps you could call the Chatham rec center to inquire.

[Happinow]

Sorry to hear about your mother. Hope things work out for you. Maybe it will make things just a bit easier knowing that you will be coming to a lovely place with lots and lots of friends around. Best of luck with your mom and your new home.

[jane032657]

I just went through a lot of trauma with both my parents, losing my dad in December and then almost lost my mom. We were expecting her not to walk again but she has made a miraculous recovery, everyone is in awe. I can offer you a few ideas. I also have been the Executive Director of high end assisted living communities such as Sunrise Senior Living.
If your mom is in rehab or hospital, she is eligible for at home help under Medicare I would expect and if she has secondary insurance it should pick up the residual costs, at least until they can no longer be of help to her, i.e. when she has gotten all she can from their assistance.
If she is in hopsital, she should be eligible for 100 days of Medicare at a rehab. After that it is private pay. If she does not have income in her name, she may be eligible for Medicaid assistance. There are a lot of rules around that, i.e., did she give her money away, when, did she sell a house and when, etc.
You can hire private caregivers to help at home. My mom is moving home March 25th and I have hired someone five hours a day. When we move to Florida, she will move into assisted living but for now she will be with us. I am hiring someone to provide her breakfast and lunch and make dinner so it just needs to be microwaved (we both work and are do not eat until very late or go out a lot). The caregiver will also take her shopping, assist with laundry, making her bed, keeping her company, taking her to doctors appointments. I hired privately so as to not pay extra for an agency fee which can get costly. You can get a criminal record check done through the State Patrol if you want or get three or four references. I hired my person trhough one of the caregivers at the rehab, they have a lot of connections and many of them are from other countries and value elder care.
I also put in our home in Seattle an accessible shower. Fully walk in and I bought a shower chair so she can sit in the shower.
I also ordered the Lifeline system which is awireless system and she can push a button if she needs help. I ordered the more expensive one which also can detect without pushing a button if she falls and calls for help even if she cannot. It has a sensor in it and knows if the fall has happened.
I hope some of this helps. I have been caring for my parents in my home, in a retirement home, through hospice and rehab, for years now. It is a lot of organizing and time and work and it is important to get help and look after yourself. Do not lift them when they fall, you can wreck your back or knees, I had meniscus surgery from picking up my dad who fell a lot! I wish I were still picking him up though, I miss him.

[jane032657]

I would also be happy to assist you in hiring if our paths cross in The Villages at the time you are ready to interview. As I said, I have run assisted livings and used to interview and hire all the staff for them; I am the Executive Director of two non profits and just hired 19 new staff; and I have and am presently hiring for my parent(s). I am not yet in TV but will be there for a week on Friday and will be back regularly until we can move full time, once we wrap up our business and home here. If nothing else, I can develop interview questions for you.

[rands5]

If you are still looking for assistance with your mom, I am a certified home health aide and would be interested in giving her assistance. Have done private home health in the villages and can give references upon request. Please feel free to contact me at randsbruner@centurylink.net

[senior citizen]

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