I always say.. "YOU DON'T BRING YOUR GOOD CHINA TO A PICNIC", but sometimes you don't know you're at a picnic till it's over.

Patty55 I'll be honest, plead my ignorance and ask what the heck does this mean? I've have been so sheltered

I'm not sheltered and I don't get it Rubicon, don't feel bad

You met your soul mate and you told him to get lost???

Or, maybe you met your soul mate but it was your boyfriend's brother??

I am taking it from a straight woman's POV but you get the point.

LOL, I'm not explaining to you three. Rubicon & Jimbo I think in reading your posts you have both been married for quite a while. Taltzarac, I believe upthread you have admitted to being a "picnicer" (IMO) in the past.:shrug:

I'm betting that the single ladies on here "get it".

YOU DON'T BRING YOUR GOOD CHINA TO A PICNIC.

Is that the same thing as "They won't buy the cow...............:evil6:

Kind of hard not to be a picnicker at age 53.

Close, very close, but it's more like taking your good china to a picnic is pointless and destructive.

Isn't that the point of this thread?

Eat off your best china
 

Like this

http://kenrashsoutdoorfurniture.com/...nic-spread.jpg

If your picnic is only for two you run only a small risk of damaging your fine china. Be sure to pack it securely in your basket.
Take real cutlery and glasses along with your china. Not only will it make your food taste better, you will have the feeling of having a real meal at home, only outside in the grass.

Don't bring potato salad to a Florida Picnic either. The heat and humidity can get dicey also!

Jimbo, that's why you're happily married. Do you honestly think the Mr. Midnight types "picnic" like that? LOL

lovely picture
 

that is a lovely picture, but one could say that after the food and wine is gone, and the fine china gets put into that big basket and gets rattled around all the way home, well, accidents happen sometimes. it takes more than the fine china to keep the picnic going, so to speak! :) love the photo, though!

Yesterday I was a little put off by the married people responding to this thread, wondered why people would weigh in with an opinion on something they knew nothing about. Not being religious I don't go to the church category. Then it hit me, DUH, the topic is "Celibate Seniors" not celibate singles.

I guess celibacy is not just for singles anymore, and there is likely a myriad of reasons for the choice; sickness, boredom, inability to perform or maybe your dog just don't hunt anymore... so you choose being celibate.

To say "Why buy the cow..." is to me manipulative. That is not what this is about, to be celibate is not about withholding sex as a way to get what you want, not in this day and age, certainly not for seniors who are doing fine on their own.

What celibacy is about is intimacy, trust and waiting.

Oh, and Jim, hate to break it to you, but your picnic basket (although attractive) DOES NOT CONTAIN GOOD CHINA. Those plates look like something from a buffet. Picnics are not always what they seem.

I AM sorry and it was my attempt at humor. the cow thing. As a kid we had an Aunt Lil and that was her favorite saying to all of us nieces. I really meant to inject humor. and you are also right. I am married. I shouldn't be posting on this thread.

I just admire the heck out of Chachacha. She is beautiful and so interesting and smart and fun and principled. I am a tiny bit in awe of her. But every community needs a Yetta. Isn't that the name of the matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof?

Graciegirl, I'm not offended by the cow buying thing, I do recognize humor. That along with "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." was on my mother's "hit parade". I don't know you personally, but think you should be appointed diplomat.

Absolutely married people should be posting on this thread, being celibate is really not about being single or married, it's about values and choices.

What? I took that pic from a website selling high end china, the 4 place setting/basket was $600. :a20:

Perhaps not what they seem but picnics R what U make them;)

Why do I get the feeling that one day you and MM will be best buds? LOL Happy picnic-ing.

There's a lot of food on these plates. Kind of hard to tell how classy they are.

I remember that my big date with my last serious girlfriend started with a train ride from Stillwater, MN into the wilds of MN. As wild as 20 miles out of Stillwater, MN gets anyway. She was arguing with a fellow diner about the necessity of lawyers all thoroughout the journey. http://www.onthelake.net/excursions/stillwater.htm

patty55 au contraire being married means being celibate from the standpoint of look but don't touch. In fact the temptations are as great if not greater. In addition people committed to marriage also face ceilbacy perhaps due to an illness, being away (military business) etc. That was one reason I made reference to the definition of a great or good lover. It takes a heck of a lot of work to keep your spouse's complete attention when there are so many people smarter ,better looking ....than you That is why I believe people make a big mistake when they make sex such a big focus in their relationship. It is why I said that I feel badly for the younger generations because they did not have the benefit of good role models such s our parents.

My wife and I renewed our vowels in the presence of our childen. We toasted with gold plated goblets that I purchased and had engraved for my parents on their 50th anniversary in 1986. I have asked my daughter to see to it that every family member celebrating a milestone marriage anniversary use these goblets in their toast. My daughter laughed and I said OK but let's lower the requirement from 50 to the 25th anniversary given the state of marriage today.

A good marriage and a strong family unit is the strength on which this country is built and we need to protect it as we would an endangered species'

Patty I still want to know what not taking good china to a picnic....means
I promise I am old to learn about what it means

my interpretation
 

i don't presume to speak for patty, the contributor of the picnic phrase which wrought such wonderful speculation, but what i THINK she meant, is one is saving their best china (their intimacy) for the really important person, the ONE! but sometimes we find that the person we THOUGHT was the ONE was only a picnic and here we have used our best on the wrong person! is that what you implied, patty? i think we have all been there! (except rubicon) :)

Yenta
 

The matchmaker's name was Yenta which means a nosey body.

I respond because both my wife's and my mother's name was Yetta.

yenta
 

i have always called myself a yenta because i love to match people up, and have had some success at it...my jewish dear friend told me it did not mean a matchmaker, but a nosey body, as the last post said...i think a matchmaker has to be a bit of a nosey body to get results... :) just sayin....

I think it is really frustrating to start over after the loss of a particularly beloved spouse. My wife died nearly five years ago after 27 years of marriage. Almost immediately, many well-meaning friends suggested that I start looking for someone else in order to avoid long term grief. My sons even suggested trying out an online dating service. I wasn't so sure but finally I signed up for two dating services.
I was very honest and clear about what kind of relationship I was looking for and was very clear that I believed sexual intimacy was something that would have to evolve and that I was not interested in beginning a new relationship in that way. Frankly, I was looking to develop a friendship over common interests and was again clear that I believe friendship could evolve into a more loving relationship (a committed one, like the pig).
I was shocked at how few women were interested in this. Most of those who responded said they were looking for love, kind of like they were, I suppose, when they were teenagers. Needless to say, I stopped looking and started to realize that I may live my life alone until I am able to meet someone who doesn't want to move in with me, marry me, or commit to a sexual relationship with me until we both think the time is right.
Maybe this relates to the frustration Chachacha feels when she relates this as a moral issue. I think it is about morality too but I also think it’s a sign of the times that is really disturbing. Are we so lonely that we need to sacrifice everything for immediate and superficial intimacy or are we just deluding ourselves that sex is all we want? Or are we just a bunch of horny seniors?

thank you
 

thank you for that thoughtful post. unless people have experienced trying to be a single, they think it is all fun and games and exciting dates...your post hits on the reality of it...appreciate your serious input after all our joking.

Yes, it's wasting something valuable on someone who doesn't understand that it is valuable and frankly doesn't care. It's about intimacy, trust, honesty and being on the same page.

Now that we cleared that up, everyone please stop emailing me pictures of their dinnerware patterns.

Staying Celibate
 

Great Topic.
Until I meet the right guy for a committed relationship I too believe in abstinence. I only dated once and ended it because I wouldn't take the next step. I just don't wish to go there with anyone. Marriage? I would love to remarry but their are a lot of financial and family matters that come up at our age. I get the feeling that a lot of people have become "Loosey Goosey"

I'm very much enjoying reading this thread. Lots of good comments and some very thoughtful people here. Thanks Chacha for starting it.

gratified
 

thank you and i have been gratified by all the conversation we got going here...hope some of you who are reading will also start some other topics and keep our forum interesting. for example, today as a single woman i had to hook up my comcast xfinity boxes, a chore which i had procrastinated on for weeks! with the threat of losing all my stations looming, i rose to the task...now that i am done, after much grumbling and stress, i have about twenty more stations than i had before, free of charge, so i am feeling very proud of myself! they told me the free stations were part of the xfinity change....we ladies dread these jobs...maybe some of the guys do, too? someone want to start a thread about this subject? just push "start new thread" on the major singles page!

and, if anyone wants a celibate senior support group, please pm me!

Chacha, you're too nice to say anything, so I'll say it: In case anyone is wondering, or forgot, the above sentence clearly states what this thread is about. Why married people would get on here to talk about their marriages and then other married people come on to congratulate them, one after another, is beyond me.

My answer: Yes, a celibate-singles support group sounds like a great idea.

I agree!

Good post. I believe we should become friends before anything else in a male/female relationship. This is a very interesting thread

support group
 

well, if anyone wants to form a small support group, please pm me and i will host the first meeting at my home to get started....moral support is a good thing...

Another viewpoint...and suggestion.
 

Actually Cha3, there already are groups for singles where sex is neither here nor there, as their intent is to share having a good time doing something that they enjoy (like golf, eating out, arts, dancing, visiting somewhere, etc.) In the Villages, for example, there are such groups or clubs as the Villages Convertible Club (but you need to have a convertible car), or the American Singles Golf Association (Villages Chapter), or the MeetUp groups (not necessarily limited to Villagers), etc, etc. That said, other groups and dating websites are not geared toward celibacy,(probably 99.9+% of them (at least I have not found a single (no pun intended) other profile on POF that is... other than yours). So, perhaps if you are seeking to meet people who are also celibate until marriage, POF may not be the best place to be looking. I would stick to the local activity groups that are focused on the activities that they promote (be that sports, arts, cuisine, etc) and not so much 'dating'... or to singles groups in a church as Carm310 suggested.. Best of luck in your search. Your profile does not mention an interest in golf, so the ASGA probably would not interest you. I would suggest that you read the Recreation News (comes in the Thursday Happy News, or can be obtained at any of the Rec. Centers) and there look up all the clubs and groups that are having a meeting in that coming week, and thereby select the ones that appeal to you, and call their coordinator, Membership Chair or Social Chair (listed contact name and number) and talk to them as to whether you and their members would make a good fit. Chances are in The Villages it will always be yes, as noone has to do anything here, that they don't want to, and most people are OK with that. Even those like me that are looking for a wife or S.O. for a committed and monogamous relationship, but are not celibate, will be very frank with you, but also respect your right to choose your conscience. If you need any help in locating groups, write and I will be glad to help you get in touch with them. Oh... and you can usually also go to sit at one of their meetings before deciding to join them or not. Best wishes.

Bill

IMHO this has been the most interesting discussion on all of TOTV. Of course, celibacy at our age is a very personal decision based on religion, moral character, circumstances, medical condition, ETC.

Ok, I'll bite, What does POF stand for?

Plenty Of Fish ~ a free dating site :wave: (chachacha started a thread about it in the Singles Forum) :wave: