[chachacha]

i have been pondering the various concerns associated with the single lifestyle and wonder what my friends and fellow posters consider both the most worrisome and on the other hand the most pleasant aspects of living alone. from my observation, i think most of us are quite content with our lives. someone posted a general discussion asking if residents were living their dream and it caused me to realize that my life is much happier than i ever thought it would be when i was younger. so what say you? do you have fears or do you have gratitude or do you have both?
i guess for me a big fear is to become ill or incapacitated and have to go through it alone, but on the other hand i know my closest friends would do all they could to help me as i would for them. the biggest fear is not to have a partner in life on whom to lavish all the love i would like to give. ON THE OTHER HAND my biggest sigh of gratitude is that i can do what i want, eat what i want, watch what i want, when i want, stay in my pj's all day if i want, and i guess that is a bit selfish but so be it.

[Yung Dum]

Originally Posted by chachacha

i have been pondering the various concerns associated with the single lifestyle and wonder what my friends and fellow posters consider both the most worrisome and on the other hand the most pleasant aspects of living alone. from my observation, i think most of us are quite content with our lives. someone posted a general discussion asking if residents were living their dream and it caused me to realize that my life is much happier than i ever thought it would be when i was younger. so what say you? do you have fears or do you have gratitude or do you have both?
i guess for me a big fear is to become ill or incapacitated and have to go through it alone, but on the other hand i know my closest friends would do all they could to help me as i would for them. the biggest fear is not to have a partner in life on whom to lavish all the love i would like to give. ON THE OTHER HAND my biggest sigh of gratitude is that i can do what i want, eat what i want, watch what i want, when i want, stay in my pj's all day if i want, and i guess that is a bit selfish but so be it.

I have to agree on every point with you. It is frightening to have to deal with health issues without someone there right by your side. However, the freedom to do whatever you want to do all the time is priceless. I’ve been on both sides of this fence, and right now, I’m really enjoying the solo side.

[RETIREDSFW]

I agree with you on doing what you want, when you want and not having to answer to anyone. What I miss is someone to hug me which always let me know that there was another person in my life that cared where I was dead or alive. I did get some hugs last Saturday at my party which meant more than I could ever tell you. I think it is the human touch that means so much. I saw the following on the internet "Hugging therapy is definitely a powerful way of healing. Research shows that hugging (and also laughter) is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress." I want my hugs!

[kittygilchrist]

It's better to be alone than to wish you were....

[jblum315]

I guess my biggest worry is becoming incapacitated and having my daughter and son disrupting their lives thousands of miles away to "take care of Mom." I had to do that for my mother and, while I don't regret it, it is extremely difficult.

[senior citizen]

Originally Posted by jblum315

I guess my biggest worry is becoming incapacitated and having my daughter and son disrupting their lives thousands of miles away to "take care of Mom." I had to do that for my mother and, while I don't regret it, it is extremely difficult.

Yes , I'm not alone and not single, however, your post resonated with me as having been someone who walked in your shoes, caring for my elderly mom for six years in our home and then watching her take the long end journey of Alzheimers disease, first in assisted living for two years , followed by 18 months in a skilled nursing end stage Alzheimers nursing home.............

The long goodbye.........and having to travel that road alone, with no one by your side.........not wanting to disrupt our adult kids lives, and so on...........would be extremely difficult.

Like you, I DO NOT WANT MY CHILDREN to have to do for me...what I had to do for my mom. It's not easy, mentally, emotionally or physically.

I'm sure this is a universal thought.....as my own mother in law, who passed way too young at age 51, used to tell me the same thing........."I hope my children do not have to care for me as I did for my parents"..........first her father........and then her mother.

Ironically, they did.......especially her eldest daughter, my sister in law.......first her mom......and later her dad.

If I was alone I would miss the sharing of thoughts and plans.

People are polite, but really do not want to hear your innermost dreams such as a significant other is more than willing to do.

Especially after being together for 53 years.

But, in the end, we all end up alone. One way or another.

[Bay Kid]

Originally Posted by RETIREDSFW

I agree with you on doing what you want, when you want and not having to answer to anyone. What I miss is someone to hug me which always let me know that there was another person in my life that cared where I was dead or alive. I did get some hugs last Saturday at my party which meant more than I could ever tell you. I think it is the human touch that means so much. I saw the following on the internet "Hugging therapy is definitely a powerful way of healing. Research shows that hugging (and also laughter) is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress." I want my hugs!

I have lived alone for 18-19 years. I am kind of set in my ways. But I do need HUGS!

[Lauren Sweeny]

I think hugs should replace " air kisses" !
I ask if I can give a new friend a hug , just in case the person is not comfortable with it .
Some are a bit shocked but sincerely hug right back.
Touching an arm,hugging ,even briefly , I think is definitely a needed act of love!

[mixsonci]

I've been alone for a very long time and have gotten used to it. I like it even, not having to answer to anyone about what I do, say, go, wear etc. However, it does get lonely and I don't mean just male companion. It's nice to have some really close girlfriends, I don't have that either. I am in the Foreign Service with the State Department and live overseas. We move on to a new post every 2 or 3 years, so you don't really make lasting friends (just lasting acquaintances). I think my biggest worry when I finally live in TV (January) and will really be alone, is getting sick or worse and nobody knows or cares. I have family but they won't live close. This is not pleasant, buy my aunt died at home alone and nobody found her for 2 weeks. NOt a nice way to live your last days. Scary.

[2BNTV]

There is a big big difference between being "alone", and "lonely".

Being "alone", means, that you enjoy your own company and the solitude to do things, that are meaningful to you.

Being "lonely", mans you need to have others around you, to feel good about oneself.

A touch, hug can be healing, if one has true affection, for another peson. We all need human contact in our daily lives. Laughter is the best medicine.


People who need people.......

Barbra Streisand - People - YouTube

[Love2cruise]

Mixsonci, Just keep In mind when you move to TV you will be making so many friends here. People look out for one another, and unless you are a recluse you won't end up like your aunt.

[DianeM]

Life is what it is. Deal with it.

[tippyclubb]

Originally Posted by DianeM

Life is what it is. Deal with it.

Oh that's a real caring and understanding response, and rude too. Why bother saying anything if you can't be nice.

[gerryann]

Originally Posted by tippyclubb

Oh that's a real caring and understanding response, and rude too. Why bother saying anything if you can't be nice.

Maybe Dianne just needs a hug??

[TVMayor]

Originally Posted by gerryann

Maybe Dianne just needs a hug??

And a nap.