[tomwed]

I'm learning a lot about Mr. Rogers. His advice was the advice he got from his mother. She said when things go wrong, look for the "helpers." They are always around. Looks like that's true around here.

[EPutnam1863]

Years ago we had progressive dinners where 2-4 couples would go to one house for appetizer, then the next house for main entree, and finally to the next house for dessert. We would use themes such as during the celebration of the centennial, it was my turn, so I served a Colonial dinner.

[EPutnam1863]

Another suggestion...form a birthday club for 4-6 women who meet at a restaurant chosen by the birthday lady. Her dinner is paid for by the other ladies present at the dinner.

[retiredguy123]

I think some posters are missing the point of this thread. There are people living in The Villages who may be healthy, wealthy, and very happy, but they are alone and are trying to figure out what will they do when they get sick, and have no one to take them to the doctor or to handle their finances, or help them move to assisted living or to a nursing home. They really don't care about having an occasional meal or someone to talk to for a few hours. It is much more serious than that. How do you plan for the inevitable when you have no family and not very many close friends? This is a huge gap in the elder care system that needs a solution.

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by retiredguy123

I think some posters are missing the point of this thread. There are people living in The Villages who may be healthy, wealthy, and very happy, but they are alone and are trying to figure out what will they do when they get sick, and have no one to take them to the doctor or to handle their finances, or help them move to assisted living or to a nursing home. They really don't care about having an occasional meal or someone to talk to for a few hours. It is much more serious than that. How do you plan for the inevitable when you have no family and not very many close friends? This is a huge gap in the elder care system that needs a solution.

Several of our Villages have already set up a Caring Neighbors organization, ours has.

My Village has a group: "Caring Neighbors has launched! We have 17 volunteers who have all been background-checked by the United Way of Lake and Sumter County. We are ready to help our neighbors who need help with things like transportation to doctor appointments and shopping, short-term meals, home visits or a phone buddy, and non-medical respite so that a caregiver can take a break. Please call us at 352-255-3304 if you or someone you know in xxxx could use our services. If you live in xxxxxx and are interested in joining us as a volunteer, contact xxxx."

These groups are already forming in other Villages with the help of the United Way. Unfortunately this information does not get out, or does, but only to the Village in question. I contacted the VHA and was told by them that they do not want to get into this and it should be handled by the Villages themselves. BUT, there should be information available for all residents.

My personal feeling is that if you are indeed an "orphan" you need to have an elder attorney to handle your affairs and to help when needed. There are numerous programs both governmental and private available.

[retiredguy123]

Does anyone know an elder attorney who will actually handle your affairs, including power of attorney and medical decisions? The ones I have met will not do it and have told me that even banks won't do it because of the liability.

[VILLAGERBB]

I have met with 2 good ones (to prepare a living trust), but have not yet committed to either. Putting an attorney in total control of your affairs isn't wise. Their purpose is to make sure that your wishes are carried out. Putting them in charge would be a conflict of interest. If you put your finances in the hands of a bank (fiduciary) they will manage your expenses should you become unable to. Finding someone you can trust is the key. You might want to consult with local organizations designed to assist elders. The people involved are usually background checked and are trustworthy. This is what I am considering...we have to trust someone. As far as healthcare...I would definitely have a living trust in place BEFORE an emergency occurs.

[VILLAGERBB]

Here's a link that might be helpful.
Florida Department of Elder Affairs - Home

[Gail simon]

I completely understand. I had caring parents, no siblings, so I am alone as well.

[Hermit]

Originally Posted by VILLAGERBB

Is there a support group in TV for senior orphans?

I wrote a response to you, but because I included a link, it bounced back saying it was SPAM! Have you considered any of the clubs or groups that have common interests? Sorry if that comes across as obvious. There is a group called the "Women's Do Nothing Group" that I think meets once a month to simply chat and dine. The premise is that these women don't have a hobby that matches with any of the available groups, so this allows them a social outlet. You can join via Facebook. They are having a party July 20. Best of luck!

[afecher]

We have a group called the Solo Adventurers who meet every third Wednesday at 4 pm at the Santiago Rec Center located in the Village of Santiago (off Enrique Blvd). There will not be a meeting during July because of low attendance but you are welcome to join our meeting scheduled in August to learn of our activities. We normally bring ideas for travel, movies, shows, lunches/dinners and then make plans from there. Everyone is welcome!

[Nell57]

I have a great friend in Ohio who is an attorney. He had been durable power of attorney for medical and financial numerous times for his Senior Orphan clients. So I do think a blanket statement that an attorney won’t do it might be too broad. Mary Trotter is an excellent Elder Law attorney. She might be one person to talk to. You need someone with deep ties to the community who will be here when the time comes. There is another attorney who I would STRONGLY advise against using,but it is probably no appropriate to name names here.
I can think of three friends who are in your same position. I’m not sure how the best way is to form a group and find each other, but the need is real. I would suggest talking to the people at Recreation News.. They will put an annnnouncemnt in the paper periodically, to see if there is enough responses to form a group. Then they will assign you a free room at a Rec Center for monthly meetings. I think a lot of Senior Orphans are attracted to The Villages. I can think of four myself. If you get the ball rolling you will have a strong network. 😉 Good Luck

[Villagesgal]

Start a club. It's a great idea.

[dolcevita09]

Perhaps some who have responded might benefit from this article: Elder Orphans Have a Harder Time Aging in Place. “Elder Orpans” are aging folks without family, a spouse, or partner to help with life issues. These folks have to depend on friends or paid services for often simple needs, such as care or help during temporary health limitations. Where do they go for the holidays when others are spending time with family? There is no one to share basic life activities with and they have the burden of making every decision alone. Getting more complex, who should the family, spouse, partner less person appoint as there medical power of attorney? etc. think about what your life would be like if you are suddenly alone. Really alone. I wish there was an “Elder Orphan” group is an excellent idea for those in the same boat to lend support to each other and share I formation. I don’t believe there is such a group in The Villages.

[Tall4mom]

I thought the message meant there was no family around for friendship and support. Did not think she was talking about parents.