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Also, my wife and I are both a bit shy, so making friends is a slow process. But we're doing well. As you said, I've also often heard to plan on the adjustment being a gradual process. So far that seems to be true.
[B]Maybe there's a club here...the Retirement Adjustment Club...hmmm. :agree: I wish this club existed when we moved here 5 yrs ago. The first 6mo were the hardest . It will get better so hang in there. |
I too have had great difficulty adjusting to retirement and it has now been many years .
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golf cliques??? Really!
b4 injury, I would jump in games and always enjoyed meeting new golfers every day...In fact, I would enjoy jumping in games MORE than my regular golf 4'somes in North Carolina...Retirement allows you to expand your horizon....The Villages allows you this opportunity....At our private club in NC you didn't have this choice...
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For those of you with great difficulty adjusting, I would like to tell you a bit of my history. My father died when I was 24, suddenly, of a massive heart attack. He was my hero, and it took me years to recover from his death. I did not, at the time, seek help from a mental health professional. I should have. It could have helped me work through my grief. Later in my life, I did get help. I was about to divorce and had no idea what the direction of my life would be. The advice and counsel I received was life changing. Instead of fear and sorrow, I was able to face the future with enthusiasm and optimism. So for those of you struggling, consider talking to a counselor. It might help. It helped me.
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I do not miss the constant grind of " Internal Politics " which were endless . Nor do I miss the daily lengthy mind-numbing meetings or the " Executive Sundays " .
I do miss the intellectual side and the business challenges and being responsible for change leadership . Also I sure miss the income ! Unfortunately for me , work was the only thing at which I excelled and work was my full-time " Hobby ". I retired in August of 2007 and have not adjusted well at all . I moved here 3 years ago but unfortunately I do not easily make friends as I am an Introvert and primarily " Live In MY Head ". |
Jim, I do feel very sorry for all you have been thru and you certainly have more than your share. However, you must find some way to put it behind you and move on. Many seniors are divorced or on 2nd marriages, including myself, and it is very difficult but "it is what is" and, you can not change the past. There is so much support in TV so take advantage of it and really focus on change, don't look back, just forward. I sincerely wish you the best.
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From someone who is still in the trenches of employment. I am glad I have a job. I am several years away from being able to retire (unless I win the lottery that is - LOL). I have been witih my employer since 1988, and I have survived (so far) 3 changes in corporate ownership. Until the past few years, I never understood why my father was so glad to retire when he did at age 62. The never sending internal politics, "gotcha - you made a mistake" and CYA that my job and my company has become will be something I will not miss. Just my two cents.
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Top 10 Benefits of being retired:
1. It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. 2. Retirement means no pressure, no stress and no heart aches .... unless you play golf. 3. The money is not the best, but hours are great. 4. You enjoy waking up and not having to go to work, so you can do it 3 or 4 times each day 5. Formal attire for retirees is tied shoes 6. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it might take all day. 7. When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you. 8. The best part about doing nothing all day, is that you don't have to get it finished. 9. Retirement is the never ending coffee break 10. Retirement phases; • First you forget names, • then you forget faces; • then you forget to zip up your fly; • and then you forget to unzip you fly. |
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If I were to share the story it would sound so over-the-top that no one could believe it to be true . Cheating spouse , very aggressive opposing female lawyer who only takes the cases of women married to successful men . A Judge who literally slept through the many weeks of Court Proceedings and never ever read a single one of my Motions . I have ven shopped the story as a book with a couple of well published authors who each said " too over the top for even a work of fiction ". Thus I am unable to move on because this mess will not end . And d despite the well established fact that I had worked at my very successful career for 25 years before we married my opponents have managed to separate me completely from the pre-martial funds I had built up . They managed to get the Judge to appoint a Receiver . The Receiver was authorized by the Judge to seize every dime I had including the funds which the Judge had Ruled were not subject to Marital Distribution . This took place nearly 4 years ago . Then the Receiver sold off my Real Estate at " fire-sale " prices to fellow lawyers . Three homes which were fully paid for got sold off in a matter of one month and each went to local lawyers for well below their market price . In the meantime my former spouse has been advanced so much cash that I would be embarrassed to state the number . She went out and immediately purchased a brand new luxury residence for cash and then the following month purchased her 3rd brand new Mercedes Benz since she launched the Case . And she was openly adulterous but no matter to the Court in The Peoples Republic of New York . |
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It always amazed me how many were able to survive and thrive by simply acting as the open Critics of others . Further internal Email has only further enabled such cretins . |
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Jim, Please try to put it behind you....you cant change it and it will only destroy and consume you. You will never find the support anywhere else as you would in TV.
As long as you have your health, life is good and you can overcome this and move on. On a different note, watch American Greed on CNBC and you will see how many people have been swindled of their entire life savings. Many seniors have had to start over after losing everything. Like I said, as long as you have your health you are rich. You must let people help you get thru this and you will have a good life in TV. |
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