Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Adjusting to retirement (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/adjusting-retirement-127049/)

charlie_marie 09-17-2014 07:53 AM

Also, my wife and I are both a bit shy, so making friends is a slow process. But we're doing well. As you said, I've also often heard to plan on the adjustment being a gradual process. So far that seems to be true.

[B]Maybe there's a club here...the Retirement Adjustment Club...hmmm. :agree:

I wish this club existed when we moved here 5 yrs ago. The first 6mo were the hardest . It will get better so hang in there.

Buffalo Jim 09-25-2014 02:55 PM

I too have had great difficulty adjusting to retirement and it has now been many years .

jebartle 09-26-2014 02:21 AM

golf cliques??? Really!
 
b4 injury, I would jump in games and always enjoyed meeting new golfers every day...In fact, I would enjoy jumping in games MORE than my regular golf 4'somes in North Carolina...Retirement allows you to expand your horizon....The Villages allows you this opportunity....At our private club in NC you didn't have this choice...



Quote:

Originally Posted by irishamr (Post 938993)
I would like to share my experience with retirement. Much of what I feel has already been mentioned but I still feel I know even more. Does anyone realize living in The Villages you have more volunteers than you have positions available? People trying to learn or play social games are not truly welcome by the regulars. Many exercisers, golfers and pool regulars have become cliques that are hard to break into. What else is left, a life of solitude?? The College seems to repeat the same old, same old courses and we are way beyond them. Any comments would be appreciated.


dewilson58 09-26-2014 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jebartle (Post 943946)
b4 injury, I would jump in games and always enjoyed meeting new golfers every day...In fact, I would enjoy jumping in games MORE than my regular golf 4'somes in North Carolina...Retirement allows you to expand your horizon....The Villages allows you this opportunity....At our private club in NC you didn't have this choice...

I agree with new golfers every day. It has been great. The stories, the careers, TV experiences............I've really enjoyed jumping into groups.

pbkmaine 09-26-2014 09:35 AM

For those of you with great difficulty adjusting, I would like to tell you a bit of my history. My father died when I was 24, suddenly, of a massive heart attack. He was my hero, and it took me years to recover from his death. I did not, at the time, seek help from a mental health professional. I should have. It could have helped me work through my grief. Later in my life, I did get help. I was about to divorce and had no idea what the direction of my life would be. The advice and counsel I received was life changing. Instead of fear and sorrow, I was able to face the future with enthusiasm and optimism. So for those of you struggling, consider talking to a counselor. It might help. It helped me.

Barefoot 09-26-2014 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gomoho (Post 939264)
My greatest joy in retirement is the fact that I have not, nor do I need to "fill up my day".

Exactly, same here. :ho:

Buffalo Jim 09-26-2014 12:34 PM

I do not miss the constant grind of " Internal Politics " which were endless . Nor do I miss the daily lengthy mind-numbing meetings or the " Executive Sundays " .
I do miss the intellectual side and the business challenges and being responsible for change leadership . Also I sure miss the income !
Unfortunately for me , work was the only thing at which I excelled and work was my full-time " Hobby ".
I retired in August of 2007 and have not adjusted well at all . I moved here 3 years ago but unfortunately I do not easily make friends as I am an Introvert and primarily " Live In MY Head ".

slipcovers 09-26-2014 01:04 PM

Jim, I do feel very sorry for all you have been thru and you certainly have more than your share. However, you must find some way to put it behind you and move on. Many seniors are divorced or on 2nd marriages, including myself, and it is very difficult but "it is what is" and, you can not change the past. There is so much support in TV so take advantage of it and really focus on change, don't look back, just forward. I sincerely wish you the best.

Schaumburger 09-26-2014 01:27 PM

From someone who is still in the trenches of employment. I am glad I have a job. I am several years away from being able to retire (unless I win the lottery that is - LOL). I have been witih my employer since 1988, and I have survived (so far) 3 changes in corporate ownership. Until the past few years, I never understood why my father was so glad to retire when he did at age 62. The never sending internal politics, "gotcha - you made a mistake" and CYA that my job and my company has become will be something I will not miss. Just my two cents.

CaptainMorgan 09-26-2014 02:31 PM

Top 10 Benefits of being retired:
1. It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
2. Retirement means no pressure, no stress and no heart aches .... unless you play golf.
3. The money is not the best, but hours are great.
4. You enjoy waking up and not having to go to work, so you can do it 3 or 4 times each day
5. Formal attire for retirees is tied shoes
6. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it might take all day.
7. When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
8. The best part about doing nothing all day, is that you don't have to get it finished.
9. Retirement is the never ending coffee break
10. Retirement phases;
• First you forget names,
• then you forget faces;
• then you forget to zip up your fly;
• and then you forget to unzip you fly.

Buffalo Jim 09-26-2014 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slipcovers (Post 944182)
Jim, I do feel very sorry for all you have been thru and you certainly have more than your share. However, you must find some way to put it behind you and move on. Many seniors are divorced or on 2nd marriages, including myself, and it is very difficult but "it is what is" and, you can not change the past. There is so much support in TV so take advantage of it and really focus on change, don't look back, just forward. I sincerely wish you the best.

Thanks for the note . Sadly , I can not get the Case to end . It began in 2007 ,literally 2 weeks after my final paycheck . We were married for only 10 years and my former wife never worked during the marriage and also never had to lift a finger . We even had day-time Nanny help for her to care for our only child .
If I were to share the story it would sound so over-the-top that no one could believe it to be true .
Cheating spouse , very aggressive opposing female lawyer who only takes the cases of women married to successful men . A Judge who literally slept through the many weeks of Court Proceedings and never ever read a single one of my Motions .
I have ven shopped the story as a book with a couple of well published authors who each said " too over the top for even a work of fiction ".
Thus I am unable to move on because this mess will not end . And d despite the well established fact that I had worked at my very successful career for 25 years before we married my opponents have managed to separate me completely from the pre-martial funds I had built up .
They managed to get the Judge to appoint a Receiver . The Receiver was authorized by the Judge to seize every dime I had including the funds which the Judge had Ruled were not subject to Marital Distribution . This took place nearly 4 years ago .
Then the Receiver sold off my Real Estate at " fire-sale " prices to fellow lawyers . Three homes which were fully paid for got sold off in a matter of one month and each went to local lawyers for well below their market price .
In the meantime my former spouse has been advanced so much cash that I would be embarrassed to state the number . She went out and immediately purchased a brand new luxury residence for cash and then the following month purchased her 3rd brand new Mercedes Benz since she launched the Case . And she was openly adulterous but no matter to the Court in The Peoples Republic of New York .

Buffalo Jim 09-26-2014 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schaumburger (Post 944195)
From someone who is still in the trenches of employment. I am glad I have a job. I am several years away from being able to retire (unless I win the lottery that is - LOL). I have been witih my employer since 1988, and I have survived (so far) 3 changes in corporate ownership. Until the past few years, I never understood why my father was so glad to retire when he did at age 62. The never sending internal politics, "gotcha - you made a mistake" and CYA that my job and my company has become will be something I will not miss. Just my two cents.

Congrats because you are a " survivor " which is more and more a rarity in modern Corporate Life .
It always amazed me how many were able to survive and thrive by simply acting as the open Critics of others . Further internal Email has only further enabled such cretins .

Advogado 09-26-2014 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fb32162 (Post 938542)
Anyone else find adjusting to retirement difficult? After decades of 60+ hr work weeks as a business executive, I was thrilled to be able to retire and live full time in TV. Now 3 months into it, I'm finding it very difficult to adjust to the slower pace. I've never had any hobbies and have never been a big "joiner" of clubs. I've explored a few hobbies and groups since moving here but none have appealed to me. I either swim or golf every day and I read a lot but that only kills a few hours a day. My career was so demanding, I never had time to be bored. It never occurred to me I would be bored in retirement. I've been told this is just a part of the adjustment phase. Any suggestions to assist my transition would be greatly appreciated

The key to adjusting to retirement is the acceptance of the fact that your work as a business executive (or whatever), in the grand scheme of the history of the universe, which is something like 5 billion years old, was absolutely meaningless and had NO significance whatsoever. You obviously have not accepted that yet. However, once you do accept that basic fact, you can kick back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your life. There are a heck of a lot of enjoyable and worthwhile things to do here-- many more that you will find anyplace else.

slipcovers 09-26-2014 05:15 PM

Jim, Please try to put it behind you....you cant change it and it will only destroy and consume you. You will never find the support anywhere else as you would in TV.

As long as you have your health, life is good and you can overcome this and move on.

On a different note, watch American Greed on CNBC and you will see how many people have been swindled of their entire life savings. Many seniors
have had to start over after losing everything. Like I said, as long as you have your health you are rich. You must let people help you get thru this and you will have a good life in TV.

dewilson58 09-26-2014 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Advogado (Post 944292)
The key to adjusting to retirement is the acceptance of the fact that your work as a business executive (or whatever), in the grand scheme of the history of the universe, which is something like 5 billion years old, was absolutely meaningless and had NO significance whatsoever. You obviously have not accepted that yet. However, once you do accept that basic fact, you can kick back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your life. There are a heck of a lot of enjoyable and worthwhile things to do here-- many more that you will find anyplace else.

Seems sad to discount your life that way. Some of use made a difference in this universe.......a significance. A lot of wonderful accomplishments out there. My retirement includes looking back and enjoying my significance, as well as looking forward. I'm kicking back, relaxing, and enjoying.


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