[Vikingjunior]

Most of the Villages property is open to the public anyway so what's the difference.

[jane032657]

Originally Posted by thomp679

There seems to be a few (hopefully its just a few) that missed the tagline for The Villages which is 'America's Friendliest Hometown'.

It doesn't take much effort to search this forum to raise question to this tag.

Here is what I have seen just in the last few weeks that questions that tagline:

-Adult children should not live with their parents regardless of reason
-People that look like this (poster included a picture of a hispanic man mowing) should not work here,
-Snowbirds,
-Gypsies
-Prisoners are too close to us
-NFL players are criminals and do not respect law enforcement
-Nike products should be boycotted because they support Colin -Kaepernick
-NFL should be boycotted because players are protesting oppresion on their community (or is it the National Anthem)

It would be so nice if we could just look in the mirror and try to do better.

So very true. Thank you.

All The Villages is, is a place you can live to retire with all its offerings.

It is not an isolated community with walls, to only have the people you want to live by. Judging why adult children live with their folks is really not any of our rights. There are owners and owners with children who create problems, just like any other community. There are a lot of drunk, thieving, driving under the influence, violent old folks here. There are parents who have chosen to love their children with special needs and live as a family unit rather than place their loved ones in a group home or other place that does not offer the support and trust and love that home does. There are any myriad of reasons why adult children live with their senior parents. And one of the greatest things ever when you are very senior is to be able to stay in your own home with support, I have operated assisted livings, five star assisted livings, and no matter what they sell you to move in, it is not like home. People are lonely and sad and isolated and missing family. Lucky for those who have loving children to stay with them and sad for those few whose adult children abuse them in various ways. Not my business to judge who moves here, and why younger people come, and not yours either.

If there is crime, that is what we fund the Sherriff's department to deal with. I wonder why you would live here if you want to choose who your neighbors are. I do not know where you could live, but there are lots of realtors, so call one and go find your utopia. I am glad we have diversity of age, culture, race and LGBTQ, and some younger folks and grandchildren that visit and dance and breathe life into the squares, and not just a lot of us senior aged people who deserve our lifestyle, but do not deserve to live in a cocoon where we dictate who should and should not reside here. As Mr. Rogers said, we are the people in the neighborhood, all of us!

[claricecolin]

Why? I will tell you my story of why and it wasn't my choice. My parents moved here in 2001 and all was good. By 2004 my son was in college doing well and I started New job in a new state and all was good.

In 2010 Mom got sick, she fought hard for 2 years and died in 2012. That was 2 years coming down here at drop of a hat, I have no siblings and son was in grad school.

Well Dad can't cope. He was always a highly functioning alcohol and used Mom's death as an excuse. So who is left to "fix" this? Being here, under stress has caused serious physical issues. I asked for help but since he's not a problem alcoholic was told there is nothing to be done. This spring he finally landed in hospital and was bad enough mentally for me to activate POA. He can't live alone, as of now can barely leave him for more than a few hours.

I am moving him to assisted living in October. I have sold the house with the closing in November. I will be glad to just come visit Dad here, he refuses NY. I never wanted to live here, visit yes.

So please, unless you know the circumstances do not paint all under 55 with the same brush.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by eweissenbach

As is usually the case, gross generalizations about any class of people are full of misconceptions, half truths, distortion, and usually venom. Gracie's daughter is a positive and valuable influence to the community and I am fairly certain that there are many many others. There are obviously some that cause problems, but that is probably a small minority. I agree to an extent that most adult children should be self sufficient, but to paint all with the broad brush of no-accounts and leeches is unfair and to paint all their parents as enablers and weaklings is wrong, and frankly, bigoted.

Thank you Ed. Our daughter is now 53 and retired from a long career at McDonalds. She is a treasure and a joy. We three are loving our life here in The Villages. She loves attending Ceramics and Crafts Class.

[eweissenbach]

Like many, if not most things on social media, this is an imagined and exaggerated problem. There are no gangs of 40 somethings roaming TV and causing havoc. There are relatively few, isolated incidences of children of Villagers causing problems, which most of us would never know about but for the news site that may not be mentioned. I have not seen an incidence of these kinds of problems in nine years of being a snowbird in TV. Oh Oh, now I'm going to get attacked for being a snow---d.

[bilcon]

Right on Brother. Leave your excess baggage home when you move here. Cut the strings and let your loser children fend for themselves. Your enabling is probably the reason they follow you here. I taught school for 37 years and my wife taught for 43 years. I want to be with grownups. Is that so wrong? I love my grandchildren and can't wait to see them on their visits, but don't think about moving here.

[dewilson58]

Originally Posted by firebiker

There are lots of reasons why an adult child lives with their parent(s). Shame on you for being judgmental.

Good, straight to the point response.

Some posters come on just to be trolls and see how many he/she can irritate. The OP was not looking for support, he/she was just trying to get attention.

Hope everyone on ToTV has a great evening.

[graciegirl]

Originally Posted by thomp679

There seems to be a few (hopefully its just a few) that missed the tagline for The Villages which is 'America's Friendliest Hometown'.

It doesn't take much effort to search this forum to raise question to this tag.

Here is what I have seen just in the last few weeks that questions that tagline:

-Adult children should not live with their parents regardless of reason
-People that look like this (poster included a picture of a hispanic man mowing) should not work here,
-Snowbirds,
-Gypsies
-Prisoners are too close to us
-NFL players are criminals and do not respect law enforcement
-Nike products should be boycotted because they support Colin -Kaepernick
-NFL should be boycotted because players are protesting oppresion on their community (or is it the National Anthem)

It would be so nice if we could just look in the mirror and try to do better.

We will not and cannot agree on all things as a group of 120,000. I know the majority of people reading this will not agree with your entire post.. That doesn't make you wrong or the other side wrong. I just found out what dog whistle means and I have been meaning to call it on someone. I call it on you. I am so sick of having the politically correct police called on so many things I could throw up on your shoes.

I don't think Chi33 meant that he didn't think that adult children shouldn't ever live with their parents here. I don't think that is what he meant at all. Many people have talked about the younger than most Villagers people who are seen as mugshots on the online news. Yes, there are certainly old ones too.

There is a nationwide epidemic of folks with "failure to launch". Not sure why. They are indeed loved by their folks, but not so much by other people if they cause trouble in the community. I think most children who live with their parents here are wonderful. I can name twenty right away who do jobs that are so needed by the over 55 community. They are not only enjoyed by their parents but by the rest of us.

If you seek out bad you will find it. If you seek out good you will find that too. Most of us try hard to be good people. Sometimes we don't say it right. There is a lot of that going on.

[kathyspear]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

Thank you Ed. Our daughter is now 53 and retired from a long career at McDonalds. She is a treasure and a joy. We three are loving our life here in The Villages. She loves attending Ceramics and Crafts Class.

Gracie:

Which of you is the artist? Lovely drawing. I so envy people with artistic talent.

kathy

[Taltarzac725]

Well I have been here since 2005. I moved with my parents from Palm Harbor, FL at age 46. We have been in Florida since 1996.

I could write a book about why I am here. It is a very long and an extremely well documented story. Interwoven between me getting four degrees in five states while attending five schools. Most of these degrees were funded by Scholarships, a Stipend Grant, work/study, and jobs within the professions I was training to go into. As well as a few loans.

It would make a great movie. Quite violent in some parts, unfortunately. But with a lot of humanism and I hope thoughtful philosophical musings.

I do have some very interesting hobbies. Something I pay to do but it could result in income at some later date.

[ColdNoMore]

Originally Posted by Polar Bear

“Begin”? You must mean continue, right? Since you’ve already started it.

Bravo!

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that "adult children," are simply part of a long list of people...that the OP doesn't think should be 'allowed' to live here.

[patfla06]

Situations happen and many times your kids need to
come home for a time until they get back on their feet.
I don’t think most of us would accept our kids being homeless or struggling.

That being said, if they need to come live with you there have to be rules of what you expect such as working and being self supporting.

The problem becomes when the adult child has psychological problems, drug or alcohol dependency,
or are threatening in any way.

I cannot imagine being in that situation but feel a lot of empathy for those that are.

There is a fine line though of what is acceptable. When you physically threaten your parents they should no longer be living with you.

In many cases tough love is needed and warranted.

[manaboutown]

If I were not a caregiver to my parent(s) or my parent(s) a caregiver to me, and if I were an under 55 an adult, a senior community would be the last place I would want to reside as a single man.

[Chi33]

I love all your comments.

Gracie, you get me again. Thanks. I understand that there are circumstances. I read almost daily though of the adult children who lives at home being in the crime news. And then, in the comments are basically people like me saying 'why'? There should be a support club for Villagers who have healthy adult children living with them, then as patfla06 said, 'in many cases tough love is needed...' In a group, they could learn from others how far to go.

Now, I read about all the younger ones who helped the neighborhood, etc. I have a friend and one of her son's just got divorced. He pays child support, so who supports him... my friend the mother. Can't tell her anything because you will get 'that is my son, I have to do it'. Well, she bought him a new home, a car, he works, and still asks her for things.

There was also another one down the street from me who tried to rob a country club...

Yesterday there was a 29 yr old who took a knife to his mother because he wanted more money.

Yes, it all depends on the situations. No solution here. Doesn't hurt anyone to discuss though as it isn't a taboo subject.

[Nucky]

Originally Posted by Chi33

This is something that I have an opinion about and I don't know what others think.

This forum is very caring, loving, and sometimes don't see the problem with common sense things. Don't attack me as it is true. Been seeing some crime lately that points to adult children living in The Villages.

So...

Why are there adult children living with retired people in The Villages?

Now my thoughts and I am sure people will see both sides.

First, if the adult child is mentally ill to the point they cannot live on there own. Not all mentally ill people have to live at home. And, and, and, WHY would you MOVE to The Villages, the adult Disneyland, if you have to be a caretaker for the child? Not like there is good medical care in the area.

Second, the adult child who is going through some bad luck. Still, no. Get them motivated. There are no jobs here and they will keep living off your generosity and care for them. However, if you care for them, get them an apartment in Gainesville where there are more jobs so they can get back to the norm. They will only milk you for all your money and guilt you if you resist.

Third, the adult child who is the caretaker for an old villager. Well, if you are homebound, why would you want to live in the villages. If you are homebound then most likely money is tight, and this isn't the place. Also, bad healthcare here. And, what work will the adult child do while being a caretaker. Well, if they have a job then the villager doesn't need a caretaker.

Fourth. I don't know a fourth. I don't see a problem with a 30 year old BUYING a home here. That would mean they have a vested interest in The Villagers, however all the others are either using the villager, guilting the villager or there is a better place to live. It isn't here.

So, to conclude.
No jobs.
Bad healthcare.
Crime goes up.
Mostly other people are over 60 years old.

No good can come from an adult child living in The Villages.

Okay, let the hate begin. I wonder if there is anyone on my side?

So where is the place that run's the way you would like? There must be an example that you have in mind, please enlighten us.