Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Afraid of change and leaving family (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/afraid-change-leaving-family-58422/)

rjm1cc 08-12-2012 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoneman (Post 538717)
My wife and I have visitied TV twice and love the area, weather and concept. TOTV is a great resource. My wife is hesitant and is wondering if there are others that had second thoughts before they moved to TV, leaving their children and friends behind. We only have one son, single, mid-thirties who is well established. Many of our friends have parts of their families spread out throughout the country and they seem to have no issues. Anyone out there that can help my wife with her concerns?

Consider a three or four month rental in the summer (less expensive) and see how the separation goes.

George Bieniaszek 08-12-2012 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggyone (Post 538725)
Of course there are lots of others who had to leave their comfort zone to move to The Villages. Some love it here and yes, some do not.

I was sitting at Cody's bar a few days ago and talking to the couple next to me. They had moved here about 6 months ago. The man loved every aspect and especially golf and is gone most of the day. His wife was miserable because she had to leave friends in Ohio. She does not go to clubs or activities here but just stays home and hates every minute. She said she just filed for divorce because her husband will not leave. I was very uncomfortable with all of that conversation and moved to another bar stool (far away).

You have to direct yourself to your best spot. It may be The Villages or it may be where you currently live.

I agree with some of the previous posters when they stated that the marriage was already on shaky grounds if she quickly filed for divorce. Again, there should have been some conversations between the couple before the decision to move here. OK, so everyone that makes The Villages their new home does not play nor wishes to ever play golf. That is why there are close to 1 million clubs to join. Sitting home and hating every minute and probably crabbing about it every minute her husband is home is the reason that he plays golf every day.

My wife and I split our time between TV and CT and we have met the most wonderful people, neighbors and established new friendships here, are more active here than back home. We enjoy TV so much that we are making plans to sell our home in CT and make TV our perminent place.

Feel sad for that couple, but sometimes when life throws you a lemon (as if you can wrap your arms around the fact that TV is a lemon) you make lemonade!!

Happinow 08-12-2012 01:36 PM

Keep your eye on the prize...
 
I, too, struggled immensely with leaving my family, especially my 85 year old mother. I cried on and off a lot wondering how I would feel with a permanent move to TV. Now that I'm here, I think it was the best move I ever made. If your wife likes to socialize a bit she can make great friends. She is bound to have some wonderful neighbors she can feel close to. Also, FaceTime or Skype is great for when your feeling lonely. Not the same as a hug, but certainly helps when you want to see your friends and family back home. We have become very close to some of The people we have met here in TV, some of them feel like family. We have been blessed with a great community and some awesome friends. She will also be able to keep busy with activities. In the end, you have to do what is right for you. Best of luck with your decision.

Sparty6971 08-12-2012 01:38 PM

I can feel your and your wife's anxiety about the move to TV from anywhere else. We moved all over the world, taking our one-year old daughter to Germany from her grandparents. That wasn't popular with them and being separated by 100 miles or several thousand miles for a year or three at a time is emotionally painful but we learned to enjoy the new situation and then learned to savor the past and revel the present.

Absolutely will not make light of anyone's "fear" of leaving friends and family behind. That is a big change and you will have to work that out. I think the best idea given here is to do a three or four month rental, then go back "home" and see how much you miss TV. Then repeat the rental. You might find that your friends and family like seeing you but you like the life style here in TV enough to stay longer each visit. Good luck in your journey to where every you wind up.

Schaumburger 08-12-2012 04:38 PM

I agree with the posts about trying a rental for several months. Rentals from late spring through the fall months are quite reasonable. Best of luck in your decision.

thistrucksforyou 08-12-2012 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparty6971 (Post 538998)
I can feel your and your wife's anxiety about the move to TV from anywhere else. We moved all over the world, taking our one-year old daughter to Germany from her grandparents. That wasn't popular with them and being separated by 100 miles or several thousand miles for a year or three at a time is emotionally painful but we learned to enjoy the new situation and then learned to savor the past and revel the present.

Absolutely will not make light of anyone's "fear" of leaving friends and family behind. That is a big change and you will have to work that out. I think the best idea given here is to do a three or four month rental, then go back "home" and see how much you miss TV. Then repeat the rental. You might find that your friends and family like seeing you but you like the life style here in TV enough to stay longer each visit. Good luck in your journey to where every you wind up.

:a040:
Makes sense to me !

jgbama 08-12-2012 05:10 PM

Lots of Great Advice
 
We just completed an evening with our Sunday School Class and then an evening with dear friends. We love them all and leaving family and friends is one subject I don't dwell upon (get too emotional), but we have given all our lives and now it's time for us to have "our" time. Am leaving our only son, who is currently at home, a brother with MS and lots of precious friends. But we are about to complete a 7-year journey getting to TV and realizing a dream is the most wonderful thing my DW and I can give each other!

Everyone sharing their experiences, fears and anxious moments may or may not help with your decision, but, I can tell you without reservation, that after our first hour at TV in 2005, we knew in our hearts that was the place we wanted to spend our "golden years" together. We can stay active, and actually get more active. Making friends is the easiest part, and you don't have to be that outgoing of a person. It truly is "Florida's Friendliest Hometown"!

Finding all the services you need is far easier in TV, and especially here on TOTV. All you have to do is ask and you shall receive! We are just about packed and getting a few "touch up" projects completed on our house in Montrgomery will have us ready to hit the road to our new home in TV, hopefully by the end of the month.

All the best with your decision. We extend our hand of friendship and would love to welcome y'all as our "next" friends in TV!!:highfive:

2BNTV 08-12-2012 06:42 PM

I agree with all posts saying to rent for several months. I would be respectful of the wife's feelings and would ask your son what is his feelings about being away. Ask him to visit to see for himself. My son did and he agreed TV is a perfect place for me. Your son may enjoy TV so much he would spend his vacation time there and you might wind up seeing him more then ever before.

Good luck with your decision.

duffysmom 08-12-2012 07:09 PM

Since we were leaving our ocean front condo we wanted to be sure that TV was our next and final home so we rented for two months in the Summer for two Summers. After the first week we knew it was for us but we had to be really, really sure. We've been here for 4 years and have never looked back. The friendships we've made mean a great deal to us and as for the cherry on top, my sister moved down and lives close by. We get to be girls again but without the angst.:a040: Renting is the way to go.

Phoneman 08-13-2012 06:49 PM

Thanks to all
 
Thank you all for your input and understanding. Will be down early next year to visit and make our decision.

Arubagirl2000 08-13-2012 08:01 PM

I am a military wife, so use to moving a lot. We have been here 2 1/2 months and my son and his family have been here for a wk which we spent at DW, and then his two oldest came again the end of last month. I can't remember the last time they visited us when we lived in the country in Md.

Like someone else said - you will get company - kids and g/k's. We have another set of g/k's that lived 20 miles from us, and they were so excited we moved here also.

First summer we came to visit hubby said it was not for him. Second summer we came hubby said he was beginning to like the place. When we sold our house in Jan he had decided we would find our forever home in TV's, which we did. Love it here, even though we do not participate in much yet. Taking it slow.

I am sure what ever decision you make, will be the best for y'all. TV's is not for everyone, but it sure is for us.

Trish Crocker 08-13-2012 09:59 PM

I too have reservations, especially when my daughter teases me about putting up signs in front of our house to dissuade people from wanting to buy it. When I start to worry, I think about visiting my grandma in Florida and about how much my kids and grandkids will enjoy coming down...actually, I've started telling them that we aren't moving to Florida, we are just going down to purchase a vacation home for them near Disney and we will stay there to take care of it....that makes them smile. Just think about how much better it is now, in the 'olden days' airfare was horrendous and remember worrying about long distance phone calls? We are all probably less than 4 hours away from our families and my husband has agreed that there will be a special account that may be used when I really, really need to see the kids...we'll send them a ticket. As far as the woman that is divorcing her husband, as you all have said, there obviously were already problems in that marriage and the fact that she would rather sit in her house and be miserable than to try to get out and have some fun says a lot about her. (then again, maybe he's a jerk and made the decision to move to TV without taking her feelings into consideration..as has been said, two sides to every story). This only makes me appreciate my husband and marriage even more.

cquick 08-14-2012 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggyone (Post 538725)
I was sitting at Cody's bar a few days ago and talking to the couple next to me. They had moved here about 6 months ago. The man loved every aspect and especially golf and is gone most of the day. His wife was miserable because she had to leave friends in Ohio. She does not go to clubs or activities here but just stays home and hates every minute. She said she just filed for divorce because her husband will not leave.

The Villages is not for everyone. I think that couple probably had marriage problems before they came here, and it was a last ditch effort to stay together. They can probably both be happy in their own comfort zone.

burbank3160 08-14-2012 09:38 AM

Had similar misgivings...12 years ago. Started out as snowbirds. Would "never move from home." 3 kids, 8 grand kids...After 6 months in the villages, it was "home." So many friends and so many activities didn't want to leave. No longer snowbirds. Love the villages more every year. Family and friends visit often. We are only a plane ride away when we want to visit them, but are usually too busy.

Bill & Carolyn 08-14-2012 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cquick (Post 540141)
The Villages is not for everyone. I think that couple probably had marriage problems before they came here, and it was a last ditch effort to stay together. They can probably both be happy in their own comfort zone.

Agreed. That couple more than likely had issues long before they moved to the Villages. The wife refusing to even try is pretty telling that she didn't want to go there at all.


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