Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby (Post 1873738)

Doxxing:

The original letter, which was published on another website, was someone publishing someone else's identifying information (their name, address, marital status, the fact that they can't afford their home). The original post on THIS website (talk of the villages) took that personally identifying information that had been published somewhere else, and made absolutely SURE that it continued to be published, by spreading the information.

That, by definition, is doxxing. The "malicious intent" is "typically" not "always." Definitions are pretty precise. When a definition includes "typically" it's because whatever follows the word is not universally true.

And yes Gracie - clicking a few clicks IS absolutely positively doxxing, when you post (thereby publishing) the results of those clicks. You're one of the people who do it on a regular basis, so of course you won't recognize it for what it is.

Originally Posted by tvbound (Post 1873807)

We had a neighbor who lost her husband of 50+ years and come to find out, he had taken care of all of their financial and day-to-day issues. She asked my wife to help her and come to find out, the husband did most of the bill paying and banking online, but hadn't even provided his computer challenged wife with any of the passwords. It was a complete mess. My wife spent days helping her understand how to do everything from paying utility bills (reverted to snail mail), to how to write a check correctly, as she had always just used a credit card and had no clue as to what happened after that. Although it's hard to know in this case, it could be possible that the lady in the OP might be in a similar situation (although probably not after rereading the first post, given that her husband passed away quite a while ago) and just doesn't know how, or what, she needed to do to keep out of this tough situation. While I certainly have empathy for this lady, surely there has to be a trusted relative or local group that could sit down with her to try and figure out all of her options and let her choose the one(s) that she wants to take? Not to try and sound cold or uncaring, but I never donate to these types of go-fund-me causes unless I know the person and their situation very well. Especially since I've seen the children and grandchildren of friends, setting up these fund me causes so that they could go on a vacation.

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby (Post 1873738)

Doxxing:

The original letter, which was published on another website, was someone publishing someone else's identifying information (their name, address, marital status, the fact that they can't afford their home). The original post on THIS website (talk of the villages) took that personally identifying information that had been published somewhere else, and made absolutely SURE that it continued to be published, by spreading the information.

That, by definition, is doxxing. The "malicious intent" is "typically" not "always." Definitions are pretty precise. When a definition includes "typically" it's because whatever follows the word is not universally true.

And yes Gracie - clicking a few clicks IS absolutely positively doxxing, when you post (thereby publishing) the results of those clicks. You're one of the people who do it on a regular basis, so of course you won't recognize it for what it is.

Originally Posted by kimaquintana@aol.com (Post 1873188)

Is anyone in touch with this woman? I would be happy to meet with her and potentially purchase the house and let her stay there and pay monthly rent. OR I would be willing to see what she is in need of and help her get workers scheduled and put up funds to get the work done. How do I get in touch with her? Kim Quintana 978-476-1342

Originally Posted by Dana1963 (Post 1873250)

Life is full of mistakes and hardships we can't save everyone. Currently according to Zillow, there are 16 foreclosures in The Villages area who do you want to save next.

Originally Posted by DON10E (Post 1873882)

Not being able to save all is not a reason to save none.

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 1873533)

I am equally as appalled by people asking for help or financial aid for their causes and presenting a story for a "Go Fund Me.".

I think that many Go fund me's are private money makers for the person reporting a sad situation about another. There is nothing wrong for people checking information when folks are asking for money. If this person is in dire straits and allowing her nice home to fall into serious failure, it is not a simple, give her money or organize a committee. I am tired of hearing of those kinds of solutions and tired of others thinking that people want pity or a handout. That is why I said that she must have something amiss that is not allowing her to see the reality of her situation. I imagine her neighbors know and well may have tried to help.

I agree that it can't be solved here but as many others have said it appears her home is worth enough to sell and to find a less expensive place to live. To me that is a simple solution, that most people would choose to do.

There is nothing creepy about doing a few clicks to see just what is going on.

Originally Posted by Ghancock (Post 1873653)

Can I get her phone no. To tell her I am trying to line up someone now who did ours and was reasonable. Or tell her Antonio Mendez says he can stop by tomorrow and give an estimate. And he would do the work on the weekend. This is Gayle Hancock 352-801-3832

Originally Posted by DON10E (Post 1873880)

That would be great!

The home of Ingrid Rickard at 16558 SE 77th Northridge Court in the Village of Calumet Grove was the subject of a public hearing Friday before the Community Development District 4 Board of Supervisors.

That was from a news story in one of the outlets. Thank you!

Please keep me posted on your progress/outcome!

Originally Posted by kimaquintana@aol.com (Post 1873722)

So you would not recommend someone offering to pay for her lanai to be fixed without asking the woman to pay it back? There are still good people in the world who have a sincere motivation to help someone in distress. It's clear that I will keep my opinion to myself and will continue to help people whenever I can and however I can. It was an offer to help.

Originally Posted by Spalumbos62 (Post 1873895)

Well...you did come on a little strong saying you could buy her out and then rent back.
Honestly, if this was my grandmother and she was getting this offer from you, I would tell her to run for the hills .
But, truth be told, the thread should not have ever even started....... the only way this became anyone's business is because of the town posting the situation and now people are deciding what she should be getting monthly from the army.... planning on buying her house and making her a tennant, fixing her birdcage....back off folks...let her decide.
I bet its been no stop door traffic since this post....the poor thing.

Originally Posted by DON10E (Post 1873121)

You may be right, but her husband’s pension may have ended at his death. Not enough info.

Originally Posted by charlieo1126@gmail.com (Post 1874186)

I’m amazed that there are so many people praising this Kim person who may be who she says she is , but maybe she is not , this is the same group of people who see scams everywhere and talk about bolting there doors band arming themselves. I’m sure with all the publicity she has many sharks swimming around her home what she doesn’t need is people knocking on her door. What she might need is a good lawyer or good realtor , or just maybe be left alone

Originally Posted by Papa Muzzy (Post 1873106)

Where are her neighbors ?

Originally Posted by Alaska Butch (Post 1873900)

She gets at most 1/2 her husbands retirement plus whatever social security. Probably over $5000 a month total I am guessing. The couple should have planned better. This story played out with my Mom. Over spending to the tune of $3000 a month. Reality check. You will run out of money in five years Mom. Got her to back off on her gratiitous spending and live within her means. Her principle is not touched now. i suggest this lady needs to sit down with a financial counselor.

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 1873108)

Family?

Originally Posted by OrangeBlossomBaby (Post 1873125)

There's no reason why she should even still be living in that house, other than sentimental stubbornness. She could sell it for $350,000, far below whatever Zillow claims it's worth, "as is," buy a smaller home in the Spanish Springs area for around $200,000. With the profits she can afford to hire a professional mover, pay the amenity fees, and hire a lawn and pesticide guy for the next 5 years. She'd have plenty left over for taxes and to supplement whatever her Social Security income is.

Originally Posted by Chitown (Post 1873801)

I would be willing to donate a fairly large sum of money to help this woman but I would first need to be guaranteed that I can visit the home and see for myself and talk to the woman before I would give her money.

Originally Posted by pcacace (Post 1873681)

Selling and getting a patio villa makes the best sense. Less space to take care of and lots of cash in the bank.

Originally Posted by NavyVet (Post 1873515)

This situation is very sad and we all sympathize. I'm sure nobody expects to lose a spouse so soon into retirement. None of us can know who will live outlive who or for how long. That's why it is so critical for good financial/retirement planning, both for worst case scenario and different contingencies.
When my spouse retired after 20+ years service, we decided together to turn down the SBP. We found it quite pricey for the benefits received, especially since it banked on the spouse outliving the retiree by a lot of years to make it worth the cost. What we did was take that same premium amount and bought really good life insurance policies on both of us and invested the rest on our own. My spouse made sure that whenever the time comes that something happens to him, I'd be taken care of, something he learned from his father. Either one of us left behind will 'downsize' when that time comes. It's being practical versus an overly sentimental attachment to a house.
That said, we know very little facts, just a lot of guessing. However, the situation is just not sustainable as it is. The homeowner apparently cannot afford to keep and maintain this large home with a pool on the golf course by herself. Is the pool ever even used? Let's say hypothetically she puts the house up for sale. If there is no money for repairs, then the house would have to sell as is, which means she will not get top dollar and have to settle for a lower price. However, there are many adorable patio villas and cottages for less than half that which would leave her some money leftover to live on for a while, a fresh start so to speak, or even moving outside TV that would be even cheaper. There are many of us who can't afford a pool home on a golf course. I agree with posters that said throwing money at the immediate issues is just a short term fix and doesn't help in the long run. There are too many unknowns; are there any family/relatives? How much can the church or neighbors help out and for how long? Maybe there are cognitive issues, not uncommon at that age. Perhaps there are physical limitations to prevent taking care of so much home. What we do know is this did not happen yesterday or overnight. The spouse passed 8 years ago. People bite off more than they can chew all the time with a big house and then are cash poor. Then one partner loses a job, or gets sick, or dies, losing the income needed to pay the bills - it's just not sustainable.
It makes me think of another possibility; my parents had a thing for many years known as "decision paralysis." Any time there was anything that needed a decision, a choice, or a course of action, they were incapable of making the decision, big or small. Instead of choosing, they would do nothing; they'd stick their heads in the sand and ignore it, hoping it would go away. Not committing to a course of action is in itself a 'choice.' They would always wait until the choice was taken out of their hands. It was so frustrating. It is difficult to help anyone who does not want to accept help, even when providing solutions to a problem. Just saying there might not be much people can do other than to try and point a person in the right direction for financial counseling/budgeting, APS, social worker, elder law, etc.

Originally Posted by zuidemab (Post 1873207)

Home equity is the key, particularly at 73. She may qualify for second mortgage or a reverse mortgage. Some one she trusts and knows this stuff should accompany her.

Originally Posted by kathyspear (Post 1873113)

I think Zillow is way off (too high) with that estimate. We sold our previous home in Calumet Grove last March and Zillow says it is worth $90k more than we sold it for. It is not.

Zillow says they paid $381,500 in 2004. (That seems high to me but I could be wrong.) In any case, I would guess her home might be worth in the mid- to high-400's, depending on condition. If it hasn't been updated at all (which is likely, if her husband passed away 8 years ago) it could be worth less. She might have some equity in the house but not what it might seem like if you go by Zillow.

I agree that she should probably sell it and buy something much smaller. One person doesn't need 2200+ sq. ft. She may not have anyone nearby (adult kids or grandkids) to help her with packing up/moving out of a home where she has lived for 16 years and listing it for sale. Or she may be reluctant to leave the home where she and her husband lived together.

It would be great if a neighbor or two would try and help her. I don't know what we, as strangers, can do but I would be willing to contribute to a GoFundMe if one were set up.

kathy

Originally Posted by Spalumbos62 (Post 1873362)

Wow......Santa...I know what you and that cold heart are getting for Xmas!
There is no doubt she needs assistance... not sure some strange knocking on a 70something's door to offer to buy the house to then rent back is the answer....seems like someone taking advantage of a bad situation.
if there were enough people really interested in helping they should organize a team to assess the whole situation. First and most importantly, talking to her.... what does she want, what opinions does she have, does she even want to stay here. Just blindly looking most likely is sell the house, take the proceeds and get a place on historic side with no bond.
With all this said....yes covid us probably the biggest obstacle here, but maybe just a friendly knock to start.
And yes, I would do it if I could, but because of covid I can't comfortably get down to my place and we'll ride out this pending Nor -easter while my home in warm Fl calls my name.
Fingers crossed.

Originally Posted by JGVillages (Post 1873439)

Since members of her church are helping her pull weeds, as the original story stated, it is curious the church membership isn’t more involved in helping find a reasonable solution.

Originally Posted by Pairadocs (Post 1874487)

Taught me that people can get bazaar thoughts, and yet, can be considered competent and to others appear perfectly normal, and in most ways ARE ! In this case, he was NOT legally incompetent, was found to have a DEEP SEATED FEAR of poverty, of running out of money, so it took awhile to figure our why he let small things go in his nice home; not have the a plumbing problem fixed in a bathroom he did not need or use himself, failed to have the AC fixed in his car as it was "outrageously expensive and don't need it that much in Colorado", etc. etc. You just never know what people can get into their minds.

Originally Posted by CoachKandSportsguy (Post 1874500)

Most people don't have any education or knowledge of how mental illness or disorders present. I had to read about 30 books to figure out how some issues present. . . and not being professional, i certainly missed many very obvious signs with my mom's dementia. Most will use logic to excuse the behavior.

The scenario as I read it does not have enough information, but getting into this situation means that the woman needs some help, and does not understand her options, or can't deal with her options, such as downsizing, etc. Most likely she is overwhelmed being alone, has diminished mental capacities, and wasn't prepared for her outcome. . . Not the first person who i have met who didn't plan and just assumed life as they know it would continue indefinitely.

Unless you are equipped and experienced dealing with elderly and their issues, and can prevent yourself from begin accused of manipulation, the best suggestion is county social services.

Originally Posted by Pairadocs (Post 1874483)

Exactly ! NOT, "Oh here, let me help you out, I don't know you but I'll just buy your house and you can pay me rent..... yada, yada..... yep, it's Florida, everyone's got an angle. Hope some can form a real support group for her, maybe she is relatively "fine" mentally, but just depressed and overwhelmed, maybe with some REAL friends, she could come right out of this !

Originally Posted by Eg_cruz@comcast.net (Post 1873146)

Sound like a reverse mortgage is what would really help her. She would be able to have funds in a line of credit where she could draw monthly income.
This is exactly why reverse mortgages help some.

Originally Posted by Dot Rheinhardt (Post 1873236)

I am in the same situation. Lost my husband's Social Security because of GPO (married 66 years) over $24,000 a year, but bills keep on. Reverse mortgage could help, but if she owes more than $100,000 on her house, I think she has to come up with whatever she owes over that amount to get the reverse mortgage (not sure of this ). I expect she lost all or most of her husband's pension when he died. I could sell my house, but may not, and get a smaller house, but I have animals and other considerations, so probably won't. We don't know the whole situation her (other bills, car loans, etc.). I do feel sorry for her, and she may not have all the mental abilities to conduct whatever needs to be done. If she has family, they should step in and advise her.

Originally Posted by jaj523 (Post 1873416)

She may or MAY NOT have a pension coming in. Military members opt for survivor benefits or NOT while they are active duty. If they opt for survivor benefits, they get less take-home pay. Some choose for the higher paycheck and forego the survivor benefits.