Talk of The Villages Florida - Creation of a TOTV Clique

Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)

- The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)

- - Creation of a TOTV Clique (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/creation-totv-clique-40895/)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry Wilson (Post 377788)

Moved here long before TOTV. Easiest way to make friends is go to what interests you. I have golf friends, volleyball friends, baseball friends, church friends, pool friends, basketball friends, gym friends and live in a very close neighborhood full of friends. Probably one of the best places to make friends is to volunteer. Many more friends than I can keep up with and the one reason I really like it here.
That being said, there are unfriendly neighborhoods and cliques trying to take over some pools, clubs boards etc. I highly recommend you knock on doors and check out neighborhoods and hang with people who make you feel good and share your interests. There are neighborhoods that get together once a week and neighborhoods that are very cold.
Don't anybody feel that totv is the best or only way to make friends. This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions are just as valid as any ones. I had Gracie mock me with the help of her friends and Russ tell me I was wrong. I decided right then that I would not accept chastisement from these people. My biggest strength Is not letting others decide my feelings. I volunteer alot and that's what makes me feel good, along with some Gold in Senior games and many real face to face friends. So message is...Everyone has a right to their experiences and opinions. Now off to one of my volunteer groups and a total detachment from people who have judged me on here. Don't worry-it is easy to make face to face friends who share your interests here.

Larry. I have sent you a P.M. asking you to share where it was that I mocked you. (This is the SECOND time you have said that) I stood for Russ when you and he were fussing about baseball try outs.

I said something like...I think the world of you Russ. But I didn't say anything that I remember that was mocking and if I did I owe you an apology.

I just went back and read pages of my posts, and heavens knows I post a lot...and the only thing I can find is that post where I said I just love ya Russ Boston...in the middle of your disagreement with him about softball try-outs. I really believe that you have me mixed up with someone else in your mind.

After I sent the P.M. I decided to ask you what I said that was mocking.

I have feelings too. But, I am often wrong and if I am I owe you an apology.

Gracie

Gracie, I don't think you owe him anything. Just saying, that's all.

Didn't think I need to say it Larry but yes I can make friends outside of TOTV. Has happened and will happen even more after I move perm (in January I think). Maybe we could be friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgeT (Post 377831)

Something I have learned is when a person says "I cannot and will not say....." They have already said it. Just my opinion.

Not really sure what your point is either.

You're probably right George. I just "might" have told someone something similar in the past to indicate that I won't doubt them or flame them because of what they stated! I don't specifically remember if I have, but I just might have! On the other hand, if I misunderstood exactly what you mean't by your opinion, then I guess it's a case of not getting your point.

As for your not getting "my" point, well I don't get what it is that you don't get and even if I did I'm not sure I would even be able to explain whatever it is so that those who do not get it would get it. I guess that we'll just have to agree that we don't get each other!

Skyguy,

I thought your poll was funny and not meant to be malicious. Heck, we all have some people we just click with, some posters posts we enjoy more than others and that's how it is here and throughout cyberspace.

When anyone new moves into an area, they are the new guy and sometimes it takes a while for those of any particular group to "share" with the newbie. It's not unique to the message board, to this community...it's like that everywhere. When we all lived in our various communities before this one, that same issue, being the new guy, was something that had to be dealt with and it was. We all have friends in our former communities...and it took a while. Might just take some time, here, too.

Generally, I've found that people will be generous and giving to new comers, though I'm sure there are some who could be more guarded when it comes to being outgoing and giving. Things could change with them...we have to give them the benefit of the doubt. Soon, they could be offering help to the new guy/gal and be happy doing so.

I didn't respond earlier because I was at the supermarket watching tomatoes ripen beyond belief.... :D

It seems that Skyguy posted this poll as a joke, but opinions will vary as to whether or not there is really a clique, simply by its definition. You can say a clique is a group of people with similiar interests, but in the context it has been generally used, clique implies exclusivity i.e. not all are included. There have been instances on this forum for example, where one of the regulars posts something, and if someone disagrees, other computer friends of that person go on to back up their friend. I always laugh about it and think "there they go again, circling the wagons". And interestingly enough, a few times people I've never even met have pm'd me and said the same thing, so I guess I'm not the only one noticing it. I've seen posters attacked in various threads, accused of being someone else, accused of being an infiltrator, of not living in The Villages, of trying to sabotage the Villages simply because they state something they saw, something they experienced, or just voice a concern. The IRS thread really brought some of that out. People that have legitimate concerns have been lambasted as though they were un-American. You won't see a lot of those negative posts because many of them have been deleted by the Administrators. But time after time, the same group of people jump on and pat each other on the back or pick on some unlucky poster who made the mistake of posting something the group disagreed with. Clique? You can call it what you want, but I personally wish people would stop with the accusations and name calling, and learn to play more nicely. Everyone is entitled to respect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pooh (Post 377865)

Pooh, I hear what you're saying, especially about "new guys." When I joined I spent several weeks just lurking trying to familiarize myself with some members of the forum.

When I began posting I noticed that the doors of acceptance were not opening right away. At the same time I realized that this was the natrure of things... you know... caution by some folks who don't know you and don't open up to you until they get a feel for who you are and what your personality is. With some patience and understanding the doors started to slowly open and they still are quite nicely.

Unfortunately, a very few join do so with ill intent or with the idea that everybody's arms are and should be wide open, but thankfully that's not the nature of most new people. With the latter, if they meet up with a few that are not so open and ready to send out the welcome wagon, they sometimes feel hurt and take it personally, and without realizing it, put up a foot and act like a member of a swat team, proceeding to attempt to break down the door without having enough patience for acceptance to occur naturally. Wrong move! It only results in bad feeling and manifests itself in reactions that they don't expect, and as such, interpet as unfriendly.

Anyway, most anyone can be accepted by others and feel like they're welcome if they are patient and don't push. However, display a negative or pushy personality, then it becomes hard for them to ever be accepted. (Note that there are NO individuals, intended or implied, in what I just stated) I have noticed though that here on TOTV that many veterans of the forum can bring themselves above all that and be warm and welcoming! And that's a feather in their cap!

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

Quote:

Originally Posted by angiefox10 (Post 377883)

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

Keep changing cereals till you find the one with the secret decoder ring.

:D:D:D:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by angiefox10 (Post 377883)

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

No handshake, but an anthem.... :D
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-h4D-wSak[/ame]

Quote:

Originally Posted by angiefox10 (Post 377883)

There isn't going to be a secret handshake.... Is there????:cry:

If you get to know it first will you show me?

But I will go and tell everybody...just so you know.

This place is meant for sharing.

It makes me sad to think that even one person who thinks they might want to live here could be turned off and turned away by any of the behavior seen on this forum in the last couple of days.

No, we aren't perfect here. But we are grown ups and I would bet that every single one of us has had our share of pain, sadness, worry and bad things.

Usually that breeds compassion, and I see a lot of it here.

I wish I could share this forum and this place with everyone. It is so beautiful, even in this heat, the flowers are changed out again, and in the evenings a breeze ruffles the palms as the ice clinks in our cool drinks on our lanais.

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 377887)

Do I have to bring out my "troll" thread??? :024:

I know... Wait..... You'll see!:D

[QUOTE=Larry Wilson;377788]

Moved here long before TOTV. ...... This board actually has a history of a clique. Read the posts on" Enough." In this group, many were banned and started their own board. I believe their board didn't last. I also believe most are back on here with new names.
So I say to each- you have a right to post -your experiences and opinions just as valid as any ones.
----------------------------------------------------

It is true that there was a time that some members were banned, probably 2009, not sure why. It is true that another Board was started. But most members are not back on TOTV with new names. They have migrated to Facebook and are very happy there. I agree that every member has a right to post experiences and opinions. Posters on TOTV tend to be be newbies and are ultra positive. Nothing wrong with that. If some posters have negative comments or experiences, their input is valuable also and they shouldn't be mocked. Just my personal opinion.

I've had a request this week from a user to remove their membership as a result of perceived negative comments. Everyone's thoughts, comments, and feedback are appreciated but respect for each other is paramount and comments should be directed toward a topic and not another user in any way.

I believe this thread has lived it's usefulness and is now closed.