Elder Parents Situation - Thoughts Please

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  #16  
Old 01-12-2020, 01:17 PM
paulat585 paulat585 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davonu View Post
My wife's mother and father are both in their 90's and still living in their house. For their age, they're not doing bad, but of course there are health issues and family considerations. I'd like to hear some input regarding the moving-to-The-Villages option.

If they moved to TV, my wife would be helping them all the time. And I would too as needed. I'd just like to get a handle on what the various options are, of course understanding that some might not be extremely practical and all would have pro/cons compared to others. For example, is selling their current house and buying a house small here a viable option? Are there services that could help with health needs and home care needs? If that is not practical, of course there's the ALF option. But I guess my question comes down basically to...are there other options that might somehow be a bit in-between?

I'll just stop here because I'd really like to hear your thoughts about any/all options that are available and we may not even be thinking of.

Thanks in advance.
Hi, as you may have surmised from this wide range of answers, this topic is more complicated than what can be dealt with in a short post. Here is a forum that speaks to all the issues you should be considering--finances, increasing amount of time needed to provide care, medical issues, etc. etc. Good luck!

Caregiver Forum and Support Group - AgingCare.com
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Northeast Ohio, Northern California, including Santa Cruz, Oakland Hills, East Bay, Stockton and Merced and now The Villages
  #17  
Old 01-12-2020, 01:36 PM
Blessed2BNTV Blessed2BNTV is offline
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We moved my mom from an apartment in my brother’s basement to Buffalo Crossing on 466. Their staff was wonderful and they have a variety of floor plans. Also as she needed more care we were able to add it on her monthly cost for exactly what she needed.

My mom was driving and when we moved her to TV we did not bring her car because she was having eye issues.

One thing I did was to set up a schedule with her so she knew when I was spending the day with her and scheduled her doc appointments on that day. We then spent either Saturday or Sunday making her dinner or taking her out. I still popped in every couple of days to check on her or to have lunch/dinner with her.

She passed away very peacefully at Buffalo Crossings. I now volunteer there.
  #18  
Old 01-12-2020, 02:14 PM
MasterChief MasterChief is offline
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We are moving my mom to Village Veranda. It is a great place. I would recommend you call and meet with them.
  #19  
Old 01-12-2020, 03:02 PM
MZambr MZambr is offline
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Check out Grand Living in Sarasota or Citrus
  #20  
Old 01-12-2020, 03:14 PM
CoachKandSportsguy CoachKandSportsguy is online now
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Default Elder parents

Please do some research on the healthcare scenario in the United States, due to generational differences, and your own biases. A great book is "On Being Mortal, What matters in the end" by Atule Gwande. He, his mother and father, all are doctors, and surgeons, and the book is a wonderful view of the expectations of family, of your parents, and of the healthcare system when people are dying, young, old, etc. After reading the book, and we just had my wife's mother pass away with pancreatic cancer at 87, your expectations may change but you will have a much better basis for discussions than a bulletin board of strangers with limited medical experience.

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  #21  
Old 01-12-2020, 04:47 PM
YourKeytoSeniorLiving YourKeytoSeniorLiving is offline
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Hello! Your situation is one that we could help you sort through if you would like our assistance. Please call me, my name is Lisa Honka and I own Your Key To Senior Living Options. I'd be happy to discuss all the possibilities so that you and your parents live well and thrive. My services are free to seniors and their families. 352-446-5749.
  #22  
Old 01-12-2020, 05:36 PM
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dewilson58 dewilson58 is offline
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My parents are 94 & 95.


Just moved them into assisted living.
They were not excited, but are enjoying the place and activities.


They have not YET, but I know things will start to slip.....memory, mobility, balance, abilities, etc. I have a piece of mind knowing someone is close by (not blocks or miles) 24/7.
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  #23  
Old 01-13-2020, 06:04 AM
villageuser villageuser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kathyspear View Post
My MIL should be moving to assisted living and the family is starting to bring the subject up with her. Money is not really an issue but I am curious what these places cost. Never had to deal with such things as my father passed at 62 and mom lived with my sister for several years before she died. (And I know what the other poster means about sister's place in heaven. I couldn't have done what my sister did.)

Anyway, what do the "nicer" places cost per month when the resident is relatively healthy and independent?

Thanks.

kathy

Go checkout various places and talk to them. You are looking for “Assisted Living”, not a nursing home. Some Assisted Living may take Medicaid. I have seen prices that range mid $3000s to over $6000. Price does not necessarily indicate the quality of the place. I have seen great deals being offered by really nice places. And I have found that places will negotiate with you sometimes. Also be aware that besides the monthly cost there may be a one-time move-in cost that can range from $0 to $3000. It may be called different things, but it’s basically a front-end cost. Also, find out what they offer - - free transportation to medical appointments? Is there nursing available? What do the activities look like? Actually attend some to see how accurate the schedule is and the quality of the program. Do they do any in-house medical procedures, like nail clipping, blood work, etc? Good luck! I have gone through this process and have gone with friends to help them navigate the process. It takes time.
  #24  
Old 01-13-2020, 01:51 PM
daylilylady daylilylady is offline
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My father went from independent to assisted to memory care at Freedom Point. That was the most horrific experience I have been through. CNA's on their phone, aids never showing up to do his pills, they didn't want to come in on the weekend, and smelling my father's room before I got there. Please look around for other options. You would not want to believe the stories I have to tell. My husband and I went as high as we could here with the organization and never got anywhere.
  #25  
Old 01-13-2020, 06:37 PM
NotGolfer NotGolfer is offline
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Look into Trinity Springs on 100 (behind the Walmart on 466). It's a beautiful facility with a chef that prepares wonderful meals. I've heard the cost there is competitive to other care-centers. At least go for a tour and maybe tour some other places too, to compare.
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