Talk of The Villages Florida

Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)
-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Friends Support (Or Don’t) Move To The Villages (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/friends-support-dont-move-villages-336993/)

LuvNH 11-27-2022 03:30 PM

When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

Mortal1 11-27-2022 03:38 PM

put your big boy pants on....
 
[QUOTE=Michael 61;2161076]I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I thought I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.[/QUOTE

you make friends and you lose them. the good ones you never lose. I've lived the world over. don't sweat your insecurities and embrace the challenge. it's either that or move to California, Oregon or Washington. :-)

JoMar 11-27-2022 03:57 PM

Do I understand that you are feeling guilty because you may change your plans because other people are making life decisions for you....really? If your friendship is so important to them then why aren't they moving with you? When we came here out kids weren't happy, but too bad for them...it's our life and we live it as we choose. The kids got over it and so will your friends, especially if you are as important to them as you think you are.

manaboutown 11-27-2022 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvNH (Post 2161165)
When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

I heard Florida referred to as God's Waiting Room and people on cruises as the newly wed, nearly dead and overfed which on several cruises I have taken proved to be true.

kkingston57 11-27-2022 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvNH (Post 2161165)
When we decided to sell our family home and move to TV no one was jealous, they thought we were crazy to leave a beautiful State and settle in Florida. There used to be a saying "Florida is for the newly wed and the nearly dead". You don't hear that much any more.

Correct about the newly dead. Bet that the newly weds is now much lower, especially in TV.

bsloan1960 11-27-2022 04:57 PM

Guilt is a subtle but (sometimes) weapon used by people to hurt or control others.

Go through a checklist; will leaving harm anyone- or just leave them lonely for your companionship? Are there responsibilities that will shift from you to others when you leave, leaving them with a burden that should be yours- in other words do others have to unfairly pick up work or duties that are clearly yours? Are you leaving something important undone that was up to you to bring to a conclusion?

Ask yourself if you have done anything to hurt these people- other than wishing to relocate. As long as you are harming no one you have nothing to feel guilty about. Millions of people relocate every year. One of our friends cried when we told her we were moving, but she understands it is OUR Life and OUR Future OUR Decision.

You can't be made to feel guilty without your consent. If someone tries to send you on a Guilt Trip don't pack your bag for them

Michael 61 11-27-2022 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustyp (Post 2161110)
Good friends are like John Mac Arthur churches - hard to find. You should stay where they are.

Hi Brother - thanks for referencing an older post of mine - since that post I have done extensive homework on the churches in the area, and visited and found an excellent church in Winter Garden that I look forward to attending. Would not have purchased a home in TV without having a potential church home already picked out.

asianthree 11-27-2022 05:50 PM

Five very close couples, 2 were so happy we had choose a active lifestyle, community, they each came on lifestyle visit and bought their own home.
Third couple who still live in our old neighborhood, choose to break ties, with all couples.

Last couple very angry we had all abandoned them, angry words, and bad feelings all around. So it’s almost December they are now sitting in 22° weather with snow.

All of a sudden the 3 couples in TV, that they threw away have now become very important to them. So on a weekly basis they text or email, missing everyone, wanting to come and stay for a month or so.

Not happening in our household, maybe they’ll have more luck with the other two couples.

rustyp 11-27-2022 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161186)
Hi Brother - thanks for referencing an older post of mine - since that post I have done extensive homework on the churches in the area, and visited and found an excellent church in Winter Garden that I look forward to attending. Would not have purchased a home in TV without having a potential church home already picked out.

You do realize from Brownwood to Winter Garden is 40 miles one way. Dec - March traffic is not like Colorado - well maybe like Denver when the Broncos play a home game.

manaboutown 11-27-2022 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kkingston57 (Post 2161181)
Correct about the newly dead. Bet that the newly weds is now much lower, especially in TV.

No newly dead in TV either as there is no cemetery here.

asianthree 11-27-2022 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 2161195)
No newly dead in TV either as there is no cemetery here.

Actually there is a very old cemetery in TV, or TV had to build around, it’s off Cherry Lake Road CR100, one can see it from Stillwater trail . Few years ago a society was looking for volunteers, to uncover grave sites.

Michael 61 11-27-2022 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rustyp (Post 2161193)
You do realize from Brownwood to Winter Garden is 40 miles one way. Dec - March traffic is not like Colorado - well maybe like Denver when the Broncos play a home game.

Yep - all taken into consideration, I drive further to church now than when I move to TV - Trust me, this decision was made with lots of prayer and planning.

retiredguy123 11-27-2022 07:41 PM

To me, this is a no brainer. No one has a right to control your decision to move to another area of the country. It is totally your decision. If you don't want to leave your friends, then don't move. But, they don't get a vote.

manaboutown 11-27-2022 08:59 PM

[QUOTE=asianthree;2161200]Actually there is a very old cemetery in TV, or TV had to build around, it’s off Cherry Lake Road CR100, one can see it from Stillwater trail . Few years ago a society was looking for volunteers, to uncover grave sites.[/QU

Yes it is an old cemetery predating TV, adjacent Caroline, part of an old black community. As far as I know it is not part of TV. Cherry Lake Cemetery in Florida - Find a Grave Cemetery

patfla06 11-27-2022 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aces4 (Post 2161129)
I’d save the shame bit, people are entitled to their emotions when a good friend moves away. Losing a good friend to a distant move is like dealing with a death. You may cross paths again when visiting and FaceTime but the whole dynamic of the friendship has changed, there’s no more hanging out with together, socializing at functions…. it’s over.

I’d let your friends grieve and not blame it on jealously. You’re moving to Florida, not some exotic location.

I was going to basically say the same thing.
They’re sad to see you go.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:08 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO v2.0.32 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.