Talk of The Villages Florida

Talk of The Villages Florida (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/)
-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Friends Support (Or Don’t) Move To The Villages (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/friends-support-dont-move-villages-336993/)

gwen walker 11-28-2022 06:57 AM

I have one sister who has totally shut me out since moving here eight years ago. I have other family and many friends who have visited many times

rustyp 11-28-2022 07:09 AM

FYI - OP stated in another thread he was going to be a snowbird splitting time between Colorado and TV. IN this thread OP states he will have a spare room in TV for friends. Seems to me friends are within a stones throw.

Cobullymom 11-28-2022 07:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161105)
What does FREE FL mean?

Really? The #2 state in the country where people are moving to. Try living in Cali or NY, no one should have to explain "free"..insert eye roll..

Bay Kid 11-28-2022 07:23 AM

They are jealous. Who wouldn't be? Just tell how great it will be when they come visit.

TOMCAT 11-28-2022 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by La lamy (Post 2161253)
I totally disagree. First of all, good friends don't guilt trip you, secondly, friends are very easy to make if you're open to it. The Villages is one of the best place I know to socialize and find all types of people and mentalities. Congratulations for your early retirement, and enjoy your move.

I have to agree. Good friends should be happy for you. I do not like when someone tries to make me feel guilty. I feel that is not a friend. Friends try to make one happy.

I would like to move to The Villages, but it is the grandkids that are preventing me. I have to list the pros and cons as to why or why not to move. I have friends, but more can be made if I move. Sometimes it is all right to let go and move on.

Sherkugawa 11-28-2022 07:36 AM

Friends an the move
 
I too experienced this phenomenon. One close friend in particular wouldn’t let up in his criticism of my impending move. I told him nicely to stop it. The very next time we were together he made another comment! We are no longer friends! A “I think you are making a mistake but wish you the best” would have been appreciated but was never received. I share your disappointment!
QUOTE=Michael 61;2161076]I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.[/QUOTE]

donfey 11-28-2022 07:40 AM

Free fl!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161105)
What does FREE FL mean?

Are you really asking that question? If so, what's your point?

Worldseries27 11-28-2022 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash (Post 2161258)
we got the same thing when leaving california but glad we did. Your friends will get over it and be glad to visit you in the winter when it starts snowing in colorado.

they can stay at the hotel california

NoMo50 11-28-2022 07:59 AM

That's on them, not you. You know the saying...misery loves company. We were guilt-tripped by some long time friends who refused to believe we would actually move and leave them behind. It is simple jealousy.

Since you are moving to a new village, you will be amongst tons of folks who have moved. You will make a lot of new friends quickly, so long as you're not a hermit. We have found that we do more socializing here in TV in a month than we did in a year in our previous domicile. I don't say "back home" anymore, because The Villages is now home.

mkjelenbaas 11-28-2022 08:04 AM

These are your friends? Time to make a change and your doing the right thing.

mikeycereal 11-28-2022 08:05 AM

Wow angry and angry words, hard to believe. I got all good reactions and fond farewells. My boss bought me a laptop and now I work from home. By best friend still calls me like we were still living in the same state. I don't play pickleball, but I hear you can make a lot of friends and even good contacts via networking though that sport. You may be amazed at all the good people you meet just from taking part in the many activities they have here.

jleonard 11-28-2022 08:08 AM

Welcome to The Villages!
Hope you don’t mind crowds and crazy drivers, being you’re from beautiful laid back Colorado. And please please leave your politics in Colorado!

Lisanp@aol.com 11-28-2022 08:08 AM

I was receiving a lot of negativity around the Thanksgiving table from my friends about living in an "old people" community. Then I went around the table calling out everyone's age and telling them that my Village's friends are all younger then they are. They just don't think that they are old but news flash is they are! People have their opinions and their perceptions, and think that The Villages and Florida is where their grandparents live. Close friends will frequently share those opinions and perceptions with you. Don't let them rain on your parade...you are going to love it and they will still be shoveling!

mikeycereal 11-28-2022 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisanp@aol.com (Post 2161286)
andparents live. Close friends will frequently share those opinions and perceptions with you. Don't let them rain on your parade...you are going to love it and they will still be shoveling!

And scraping! :duck:

From Colorado too and I'm totally done living in a cold state (pun intended). Loved the rainy summer we just had here. Miss those days already but they'll be back.

msirianni 11-28-2022 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

This is a pretty normal human reaction / emotion. You are leaving your friends behind for something you believe is better and something they either don't have the courage to do or can't do for other reasons. They need to distance themselves from you to help avoid the pain of when your gone. It's actually a great complement to you that they are doing this.

The Chipster 11-28-2022 08:32 AM

Perhaps it is the unfortunate politics that is causing this gulf between you and your friends. I know we cannot discuss political details in this forum, but we all know how it affects so many friendships. We moved from The Villages to Asheville, North Carolina 3 years ago, and many really great friends we have made up here poke at us since we are past Villagers.

toeser 11-28-2022 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.


I would have a tough time considering them friends.

sweetemmie6@gmail.com 11-28-2022 08:34 AM

Welcome to The Villages. We lived in Boulder for 2 years when my husband was at the U getting his masters. When we left West Point (we were there for 4 years while he taught), we had the same experience. It was like we were leaving the womb and so many were so quick to tell us how difficult life on the outside would be--housing, medical, etc. We stayed happy because we were leaving the Army and never looked back. When you get here, call us at 352-633-0452--Sandra and Jeff and we can talk Colorado. Blessings and safe travel.

Whitley 11-28-2022 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

I would prefer to think that they are real friends who will be missing you and are sad; they just do not know how to appropriately express what they are feeling. Try and see it from the "they are really going to miss you". What they are doing is inappropriate, but I'd cut them some slack.

Bobendres 11-28-2022 08:53 AM

Our friends were very happy for us. Sure we will miss them and they will miss us. But they want us to be happy

MrFlorida 11-28-2022 08:59 AM

Do what you think is best for you, all new adventures start with some anxiety .

airstreamingypsy 11-28-2022 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161105)
What does FREE FL mean?

Good question. It's one of those silly talking points, since Florida is the opposite.

airstreamingypsy 11-28-2022 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jleonard (Post 2161284)
Welcome to The Villages!
Hope you don’t mind crowds and crazy drivers, being you’re from beautiful laid back Colorado. And please please leave your politics in Colorado!

Wow, just wow. What an awful thing to say.

MandoMan 11-28-2022 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Guilt trip? Don’t worry about it. Or that. Make some new friends. Temp in the 80s here today.

Regorp 11-28-2022 09:28 AM

Colorado
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

Sorry your friends are acting this way. Next time a blizzard hits there, show them a picture of you by the pool with a drink in hand. I always do and they get so jealous, they cry. The I invite them down.

Geodyssey 11-28-2022 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161105)
What does FREE FL mean?

That it leans (fake) right.

maistocars 11-28-2022 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161105)
What does FREE FL mean?

errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....

Geodyssey 11-28-2022 10:43 AM

.,/

Bogie Shooter 11-28-2022 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cobullymom (Post 2161265)
Really? The #2 state in the country where people are moving to. Try living in Cali or NY, no one should have to explain "free"..insert eye roll..

:shrug:

Bogie Shooter 11-28-2022 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by donfey (Post 2161272)
Are you really asking that question? If so, what's your point?

Is it different than “free Ohio” or “free Utah”?

DonnaNi4os 11-28-2022 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

I don’t know if you have children but the guilt I feel is from them. Until I understood that I am the one responsible for my own happiness I felt burdened with guilt. Live your life as you wish and do your best to let go of those feelings that moving has in some way wronged them. Until you do you will not be happy. Welcome to The Villages.

manaboutown 11-28-2022 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maistocars (Post 2161368)
errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....

New Mexico's lockdowns were terribly destructive and of course misguided and unnecessary. Children lost out on schooling and many small businesses went under as a result. Covid continues to run rampant there despite the state's history of overbearing restrictions. I love it that Florida remains free of unnecessary restrictions.

Are your friends are jealous of you moving to a relatively restriction free state?

EdFNJ 11-28-2022 12:03 PM

Amazing how even the simplest things take the "political turn" so easily here which is definately something ANYONE who moves here should consider.

JWGifford 11-28-2022 12:04 PM

Interesting topic. We’re seriously considering moving to TV and when discussing it with long time friends they said (rather incredulously) “what will you DO…just make NEW friends?!” to which we replied, “well…yes”. I think its harder for some to make new friends than others and people feel a sense of loss about friends moving away. Couple that with any “native” guilt trips (e.g., you’re somehow a traitor for “abandoning” your native State) and its an emotional topic for sure. I was surprised by our friends reaction.

Worldseries27 11-28-2022 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwgifford (Post 2161392)
interesting topic. We’re seriously considering moving to tv and when discussing it with long time friends they said (rather incredulously) “what will you do…just make new friends?!” to which we replied, “well…yes”. I think its harder for some to make new friends than others and people feel a sense of loss about friends moving away. Couple that with any “native” guilt trips (e.g., you’re somehow a traitor for “abandoning” your native state) and its an emotional topic for sure. I was surprised by our friends reaction.

here's the acid test for your friends.
They join together and win the 2 billion lottery . Are they staying your neighbor?

Love2Swim 11-28-2022 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maistocars (Post 2161368)
errrr, no lockdowns or any of the other stuff places likes Colorado had to endure for 2020-2021 and beyond.....


Factcheck.org has an excellent article which talks about the various studies of restrictions and their effects on mortality rates and concluded that virtually all peer-reviewed research shows a mortality benefit from restrictions.

RiderOnTheStorm 11-28-2022 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael 61 (Post 2161076)
I’m just 9 days away from my move from Colorado until I close on my new home in TV. I’m a little surprised I am receiving some guilt trips (both passive and a few very direct) from long time close friends about leaving Colorado. There is a sense of betrayal and disloyalty I am receiving from more friends than I though I would. This is zapping a little bit of my joy and excitement of moving to the TV next week - although I knew they would be saddened (I am too), I thought they would be more supportive of my move, and of course I have a guest room for friends to visit, and will be flying back to Colorado a few times a year to visit them and spend Thanksgiving. Would like to hear any comments from those of you, and how you handled the move away from friends to TV.

We were fortunate enough to be able to have a home in TV as well as rural Western NY, thereby maintaining our lifelong friendships and WNY lifestyle. While it is very easy to make friends in TV, I suspect what you may miss more is the sheer beauty of Colorado, its change of seasons and its absence of bugs (especially love bugs). Florida is a very flat state (basically a large sandbar) with no real change in seasons other than temperature, which goes from "jungle hot" during it's long summer season to more comfortable most other times. If you are OK living in enclosed air conditioned spaces for six months out of the year you should do well.

JMintzer 11-28-2022 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowlingal (Post 2161247)
Don't be surprised come February , some of these "friends" want to come for an extended visit.

We're not yet "full timers" and we already have some of those friends...

We also have some friends (one of my very good golfing buddies), who's wife has stated that she will "NEVER" visit us because she wouldn't be comfortable being around "those type of people"...

She won't be missed... Sadly, he husband will be...

JMintzer 11-28-2022 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by airstreamingypsy (Post 2161320)
Good question. It's one of those silly talking points, since Florida is the opposite.

:1rotfl::1rotfl::1rotfl:

JMintzer 11-28-2022 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogie Shooter (Post 2161377)
Is it different than “free Ohio” or “free Utah”?

Stop trying to bait people into political discussions...


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