[graciegirl]

I am married and have friends both in TV and in Ohio that are single. We have always been invited to their get togethers and they to ours. I have a very good friend in TV that says she feels uncomfortable with groups of couples. That makes me sad. Why should there be a difference? We are all grown up autonomous people. Am I being insensitive or missing something?

Anyone care to comment?

[ConeyIsBabe]

Originally Posted by graciegirl

I am married and have friends both in TV and in Ohio that are single. We have always been invited to their get togethers and they to ours. I have a very good friend in TV that says she feels uncomfortable with groups of couples. That makes me sad. Why should there be a difference? We are all grown up autonomous people. Am I being insensitive or missing something?

Anyone care to comment?

IMHO you have to "live in someone's shoes" to truly evaluate their situation.

I have been single since 1966! For most of those years I have been in a relationship (different gentlemen, different times) and we were considered "a couple".

During the times when I was not in a relationship and socialized in groups, meetings, business functions, etc. I noticed the difference. Of course, it is a personal feeling..... but I agree with your friend !

[Belle]

Hi Graciegirl,

You are like me, you feel that everyone looks at this situation the way you do, whether single or married, it doesn't matter. However, there is a difference according to some people. I have been single for quite a while and I find that singles do have a hard time in society. My neighbors are great and friendly to me and most people in TV including the churches have been very friendly. However, outside of TV in other areas I find that singles are treated differently. Your friend probably has experienced those situations and that is what causes her to be a little cautious.

[Best Mom]

Me too.
I can't wait for my husband to retire and get down here. I have been on my own for 3 years here and I do everything by myself. I go to all the dinners, dances etc. but it will be more fun with him!!I have got some free bottles of wine,flowers,and candy. I don't go to any single clubs either.
Yes, a problem is men trying to pick me up. None have been as good as what I am married to...
Hope I still feel this way after I lived with my husband a while after he gets down here!

[swrinfla]

Once again, I guess it's all in how you get along with folks!

I tend to avoid singles clubs, as I still perceive them to be a "hotbed" of widows (or, widowers) looking to latch on to a replacement. Intellectually, I'm sure that my perceptions are wrong, wrong, wrong. But, my gut still tells me that's what's happening!

Being single does, unfortunately, often cause some difficulties at get-togethers where couples predominate. Frequently, tables of six are set out; how do I upset the ambience of three couples? Sheer persistence usually works.

In other venues, such as cruises and tour groups, I have never found a problem! Most often, I suspect that it's because we're traveling together only temporarily, and we'll take every opportunity to "make nice." That said, I've met many delightful people in my travels, single and married.

As I have in The Villages! It's a blessing that my street is totally accepting of this widower, and I often am invited to join others in some excursion or other. Since moving here almost four years ago, I have come to the conclusion that this is as close to "Paradise" as anyone is likely to get!

SWR

[Blondie]

Sometimes I do feel uncomfortable in groups where there are predominately couples, and I have given it a lot of thought over the last 7 years since my husband died. I know my friends (couples) do everything to make me feel at ease, and they wish I felt differently; however, I believe a lot of my discomfort comes from the fact that I miss my Jim terribly especially when I am with couples. It is then that I find myself wishing he were there with me and we were a couple again. Perhaps that explains my situation anyway. But...I sure do like to be with my friends...especially when we dance, dance, dance, and I have great friends in TV, and I will be there soooooon.

[islandgal]

I agree with all of you.

Being single is not easy and can be uncomfortable as Blondie described. I have been single a long time by choice. Unfortunately, my street is mostly snowbirds
and almost all of them as well as the few permanent residents are couples. If you look at the TV ads, activities, social clubs, etc., many specify couples but I think
that is due to TV's being an age-restricted community - not meaning the restriction is a problem, just a fact.

It can also present awkward situations as swrinfla described. I definitely avoid the singles clubs also - just not my cup of tea!!!!

Gracie - It might not seem fair, but it is like most things in life. You don't really know until "you have been there and done that"

Nevertheless, TV is definitely Paradise

[graciegirl]

You have all increased my awareness and hopefully my sensitivity to my single friends. Since I don't think of people as double units, I didn't see a problem. I will now be thinking about this more and hopefully act accordingly.

Now I am left with the problem, is it kinder to invite them or not invite them when I have something going on?

Perhaps only when there are just women? I don't have men single friends in Florida but I do have gay men friends in Ohio.

[ConeyIsBabe]

"Now I am left with the problem, is it kinder to invite them or not invite them when I have something going on?"

I think it is difficult to answer this without taking into consideration the personality of the individual who is single.

If you invite a bunch of singles, along with the couples - there would be more of a comfort zone for the singles to mingle with everyone. I am sure there are many married couples who welcome the addition of an attractive single woman into their social circle, but in all honesty....... there are probably more married women who would not welcome a single woman into their circle.

I would personally feel more comfortable socializing with a group of women rather than with a group of couples.

Interested in reading others' responses to this one

[Blondie]

Yes....I want to be invited...are we going dancing????

[Cassie325]

In agreement with Coney I think it depends on the person....

I would also imagine it depends on the event itself....

If it was dancing at the square (or something of the sort) as Blondie mentioned then I would think it would not matter...however if it was a sit down dinner, whether in your own home or out, it may feel uncomfortable.

I would think that if your friend is honest enough to tell you she is feeling this way....then you could certainly be honest with her about the events you are inviting her to. Honestly let her know what the event is, that you would love for her to be a part of it and that it is completely up to her....

You seem to have enough hospitality and empathy to do this for her...

Just a thought....

[chelsea24]

Now I have to give my husband vetman credit. In Chicago, most of my girlfriends were all single (divorced, widowed, etc.) And they hung around my house all the time. I was single for so many years it just seemed natural. On a Saturday night, we'd just go to grab something to eat, it was vetman and maybe 3 or 4 women! Hahahaha! I just kind of took this for granted.

Now here in TV we have many more "couple" friends. But I wouldn't think twice about mixing the singles with the couples. I know when I was single, my friends always invited me and I never felt at all out of place. No one was "joined at the hip." Vetman and I are pretty casual people.

I guess I'm out of the loop, but I look at things the way you do GG, I don't think in terms of "couples" I think in terms of "people".

But I agree it does depend on the personalities of the singles and how comfortable they are. I would probably still invite them and if they didn't want to come, I'd be understanding. p.s. Attractive single women don't intimidate me. If they made me uncomfortable, they wouldn't be my friends.

[Belle]

Chelsea,

We singles wish there were more people like you and your husband. I must admit that my friends are like you two. However, some married women do feel threatened with a single woman near their husband. I, also, do not care for the singles scene.