[marianne237]

I have a lady friend who lives in another village. She will be undergoing a double mastectomy very soon. Her husband had brain surgery a while back and is not totally able to care for her completely. Their children cannot come down to help out.

Are there any groups that are set up in TV to help out folks on a temporary basis? I know she will be getting visiting nurses for a short while, but how can I get her information to get her set up with "meals on wheels" or some kind of daily help for a short term?

I'd like to get her as much info as I can to help her set up assistance before she goes in the hospital. Any suggestions?

[graciegirl]

I would like you to know, to relieve your mind, and for other women who may someday have a mastectomy that it is not as painful or as debilitating as you might think. And I mean right away, right after the surgery. They send you home after 24 hour with a drain or drains and they have to be emptied at intervals. You can do it yourself, I did. Not difficult. For some reason that part of the chest wall is not terribly uncomfortable to have sutured. It required very little pain medication for a very short time. It is not sensitive like the breast tissue. What is hard is not how your body feels but how you are worried and scared. That is what she needs a friend for. To bring her a puzzle or a CD of a good movie, call her and cheer her up, but only if you DON'T have hidden fears to pass on to her. Offer no advice. Just listen.

I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers and you too. I hope that I was not insensitive to you and that I listened. I know her problem is greater with a sick husband too. I hope you can find some answers that will put your mind at ease. Bless all of you.

[JohnN]

marianne237,
to echo graciegirl's comments, first, I'll keep your friend in my prayers
second, I had cancer surgery (throat) and had drains put in my throat - and they sent me home after one night and, all things considered, the pain/maintenance was somewhat minimal - though easy to say now I suppose. It was a lot easier than I expected.

That said, to answer your question, I don't yet live in TV and don't know anyone to help.

[redwitch]

Marianne, call the hospital social worker. She should be able to guide you and your friend to the help she might need afterwards. She is very lucky to have you around. Not many would think to be concerned about the every day things.

I wish her the best and will say a few prayers for her.

[Rokinronda]

You can help by getting a network of folks to help. You may have come to the right place. I worked for a small company called Comfort Keepers up North while I made a 6 month transition to live here. They do background checks and an extensive training program. I enjoyed the work. I became friends with my 2 "patients". I also cared for a woman here in TV who was terminal and very weak, so her husband could get out. I met the family beforehand, and volunteered to help with the grands in their time of need. The daughter had placed an ad, I responded. They were a wonderful family and I was blessed to know them. There is an ad here on the right hand side of the page for in home care. There are others here who clean, etc... I would suggest calling Visiting nurses as they may know the volunteer agencies such as meals on wheels, etc.. If you would like to PM me I can talk to you of the care I provided. I could volunteer a meal or two, if thats the route you are looking for. I'm sure there are many here in the villages willing to help. My neighbor fractured her spine and a couple of the neighbors were always there for her. She loved my sloppy joes and meatloaf!! Contact me by PM if you wish! Best wishes!!

[olteech]

While I was in TV this winter I read about a group that worked out of NorthLake Presbyterian church that provided meals for shut ins. I'm sure you can contact that church for more information. I'm not sure what the criteria is, but I'm sure someone there can help you.

[njgranny]

We were told by our sales rep in January that there is some sort of thing in place in TV for just this sort of thing. Maybe you can contact someone in the TV organization and find out about it. She said you can have meals delivered, etc. I don't know how expensive it would be.

Good luck and health to your friend and her husband. It seems their plate is full right now. God Bless!

[graciegirl]

We had a sick neighbor and for awhile everyone was right on it, bringing meals etc. Then like most good intentions, it began to be less and less.

I think that you should encourage your friend to shop for two or three weeks supply of already made frozen meals, decent good stuff, already in the freezer case of the local grocery. Also paper plates etc. Then you and others can drop by with bread and milk and fresh fruit, bagged salad, etc. once a week. People like their autonomy and .....It is easier on everybody!

People were so kind to me and brought meals. I didn't think I was picky. I often ate cereal instead of their wonderful offerings.

Bottom line, it is the love and caring that counts.

[needleptdoc]

Operation homebound at North lake presbyterian church delivers meals 5 days a week. the charge is $3 per meal. Call Northlake and they will direct you to the proper person.

[marianne237]

WOW! Thank you everyone for the answers. I don't know this lady very well, and have never been to her home, but did intend to bring a meal or two (or three) to her and her husband while she was recuperating.

I know she's strong and will be back on her feet in a short time, but that first week or so can be so disheartening. So many of us have had surgeries of one kind or another and I do intend to gather phone numbers for her and offer to help her get things organized. The Y-Me ladies may have suggestions for her too.

Thank you.