Talk of The Villages Florida

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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   How many "Villagers" are still in long term marriages? (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/how-many-villagers-still-long-term-marriages-79820/)

wendyquat 06-12-2013 10:05 PM

Ages 68 and 72 - will be 50 years in November 2013! Time flies when you are having fun!:MOJE_whot:

MSG@TV 06-13-2013 12:32 AM

We are 65, (66 in August) and 64, married (wait I have to think for a second) 43 years today (June 13). We will be frogs in 36 days (but whose counting?).

TrudyM 06-13-2013 03:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 691256)
When you know you have the best, why would you jeopardize that? Paul Newman is supposed to have said "why would I play around with hamburger when I have Filet at home".


I thought I invented that line. Its what I always used when I was young to put the over attentive bosses in their place.

Not there yet but as you have expanded the subject to successful marriages in general.

I think (and we have been together since 1975) the secret is getting past the bumps that throw so many peoples marital cart into the ditch and then forgetting about the bump was ever there.
Most that I know who aren't still together it is for one of three reasons. They couldn't agree on money issues.
On how to raise the kids (or if to have them)
Or every thought they had started with I instead of we. This is the biggest one in my opinion. Hubby and I have been thinking of ourselves as a unit for along time.

However if you have had a good marriage it can make it hard for your kid to find someone their expectations are kind of high.

senior citizen 06-13-2013 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrudyM (Post 691415)
I thought I invented that line. Its what I always used when I was young to put the over attentive bosses in their place.

Not there yet but as you have expanded the subject to successful marriages in general.

I think (and we have been together since 1975) the secret is getting past the bumps that throw so many peoples marital cart into the ditch and then forgetting about the bump was ever there.
Most that I know who aren't still together it is for one of three reasons. They couldn't agree on money issues.
On how to raise the kids (or if to have them)
Or every thought they had started with I instead of we. This is the biggest one in my opinion. Hubby and I have been thinking of ourselves as a unit for along time.

However if you have had a good marriage it can make it hard for your kid to find someone their expectations are kind of high.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Your comment re you and your hubby thinking of yourselves as a "unit" for a long time......is one I certainly agree with......and obviously works.

Your last sentence about a good marriage (observed at home throughout their childhood) making it hard for the kids to find someone similar to good old mom or dad's commitment...........also rings true.

When our daughter was in college, she made a comment about the dating scene up there being a "meat market" and she wanted to wait until she could find someone to share "what you two have had"..........it blew my mind. Obviously, she was observing the tranquil home life throughout her childhood..............as well as through high school and college.....

That "meat market" comment blew my mind.......and she was attending a very competitive university......but she did meet her future husband there.
They will be married twenty years this summer.

Ditto....similar for our son when he was away at college , and even still in high school,.........he would seem to compare his newest "love" of the moment with us.....and our long marriage........he eventually also found the love of his life.

It's little moments when our kids shake our world, and show us that they have been observing all along........what might go into a happy marriage.
Enough so, that they claim it's what they also want.

Jhooman 06-13-2013 06:31 AM

This is our second marriage for both of us. We are celebrating 23 years of love and friendship. Our marriage may be short compared to others, but our marriage is concentrated like Tang. I've married my best friend, I even like his flaws.

When we were planning to retire, friends told me they would go crazy being with their husband 24/7. I thought, how sad. I was looking forward to being with my guy 24/7 and playing like a kid in The Villages.

senior citizen 06-13-2013 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jhooman (Post 691441)
This is our second marriage for both of us. We are celebrating 23 years of love and friendship. Our marriage may be short compared to others, but our marriage is concentrated like Tang. I've married my best friend, I even like his flaws.

When we were planning to retire, friends told me they would go crazy being with their husband 24/7. I thought, how sad. I was looking forward to being with my guy 24/7 and playing like a kid in The Villages.

I can relate to your last paragraph as mine has been retired for two years now.......considering we are virtually inseparable, I can totally understand what you are saying.........and it does all get down to being best friends.

The only thing that was a bit annoying was , after running his own business for 40 plus years.......he now thought he was going to "improve" upon everything in my kitchen, my house, my schedule, etc........which can get pretty nitpicky. He had no employees to boss around anymore.....

Glad to say he has "adjusted" nicely.....after all.....to retirement.

It really is true though, that a man may retire........but a woman's work is never done.

gomoho 06-13-2013 07:44 AM

Lovely post - thanks for starting it and thanks to all who shared in it.:mademyday:

senior citizen 06-13-2013 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gomoho (Post 691465)
Lovely post - thanks for starting it and thanks to all who shared in it.:mademyday:


No problem. It is fun to read everyone's comments on longevity in marriage.

BUT.......what does one do when their nearly perfect spouse goes ballistic because their freezer has konked out? Ironically, yesterday we had a huge amount of frozen KANSAS CITY STEAKS barbecue type meats delivered to our garage freezer, plus his Schwans ice cream "stockpile"............and being that it's been rainy and HUMID here for the past 25 days or more........the ice cream was feeling soft last night........he found frost building up in the freezer (which is in a humid garage; not our kitchen freezer).......which is an upright total freezer..............total nervous breakdown while I remained calm.......I finally got him to call our appliance repair guy who just arrived.......I'm sure it needs some coolant or whatever......rather than running to buy an entire new freezer when we plan to ultimately sell this house.

So, how does one deal with the otherwise lovely spouse when they have a mini melt down over nothing???? I would have called the repair guy last evening......

All of you happily marrieds............what do do when hubby turns into unrecognizable _____________??????????

tucson 06-13-2013 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by senior citizen (Post 691469)
No problem. It is fun to read everyone's comments on longevity in marriage.

BUT.......what does one do when their nearly perfect spouse goes ballistic because their freezer has konked out? Ironically, yesterday we had a huge amount of frozen KANSAS CITY STEAKS barbecue type meats delivered to our garage freezer, plus his Schwans ice cream "stockpile"............and being that it's been rainy and HUMID here for the past 25 days or more........the ice cream was feeling soft last night........he found frost building up in the freezer (which is in a humid garage; not our kitchen freezer).......which is an upright total freezer..............total nervous breakdown while I remained calm.......I finally got him to call our appliance repair guy who just arrived.......I'm sure it needs some coolant or whatever......rather than running to buy an entire new freezer when we plan to ultimately sell this house.

So, how does one deal with the otherwise lovely spouse when they have a mini melt down over nothing???? I would have called the repair guy last evening......

All of you happily marrieds............what do do when hubby turns into unrecognizable _____________??????????

I've been married 50 yrs. and I've had alot not so happy experiences. I call on God to help us get through those really tough times. I thank Him for answering us with His love and grace to get through it :-)

DoggieDaddy 06-13-2013 08:29 AM

Both 61, happily married for 36 years. What seems to work for me: "Happy Wife, Happy Life" :thumbup:

thelegges 06-13-2013 08:31 AM

almost 42years snowflakes

MSG@TV 06-13-2013 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jhooman (Post 691441)
This is our second marriage for both of us. We are celebrating 23 years of love and friendship. Our marriage may be short compared to others, but our marriage is concentrated like Tang. I've married my best friend, I even like his flaws.

When we were planning to retire, friends told me they would go crazy being with their husband 24/7. I thought, how sad. I was looking forward to being with my guy 24/7 and playing like a kid in The Villages.

I can relate to what your saying. When we mentioned to friends that we will be driving our car from PA to TV for our settlement, our friends commented how boring and maddening that drive will be with their spouse, my husband remarked that he was looking forward to spending that time together, and I concurred. With the stress of selling the house, getting rid of old possessions, and leaving our jobs, friends and families behind, we need that time to reflect on what we left behind and the life that lies ahead.

jkpender 06-13-2013 11:45 AM

A fellow told me the other day that he had been married for 30 years....three different women for 10 years each time!

SALYBOW 06-13-2013 12:39 PM

We are 66 and 69 years old and have been married 43 years, that poor guy. lol

carlanddiane 06-13-2013 01:15 PM

celebrated our 25th anniversary last month!


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