[bogmonster]

I had been clean and sober for 20 years before I came down here. I was innocently putting my garbage out last Monday night when the local dealer (friendly softball enthusiast) stopped by and started chatting. Somehow he detected a weakness and brought up you know what. Said there where open evals every Tuesday morning. I was too strong; there was no way his Jedi mind tricks would work on me. I woke up at 4 the next morning thinking about you know what and just happened to jump in the car and drive by the mentioned location around 8 am. That's all it took!

Since then, I've had a steady steam of Amazon drivers knocking on my door with boxes of stuff. First a glove, then some shoes, pants and belt. I now have a bat incoming and about 15 other items in my 'later' list.

I bumped into the local 'dealer' again and he mentioned batting practice at 7 am and 4 pm on Sundays. I showed up at 7 am this morning to just observe and thank goodness there was a military tournament going on. Somehow, I happened to be there at 4 pm and met a great group of guys. They also were enablers and allowed me to share their needles (bats) and gave me pointers on how I could get more free stuff ( BP ) and potentially sign up for Wednesday and Friday leagues, possibly Monday and Thursdays, and Saturday neighborhood leagues.

So here I am, limping across the house (pulled my calf walking out to shag balls) thinking about what YouTube slow pitch softball channels to watch tonight instead of sleeping. I would laugh about how fast I got sucked in, but my ribs hurt from visiting the batting cage 4 times in the last week.

Please help!!!!

[villagetinker]

Ask your wife to duct tape you to your chair.

[JMintzer]

Take up golf...

[Vikingjunior]

Good luck with the softball. I like my knees and back too much for that. I do miss the beer leagues from back in the day.

[Bjeanj]

Hilarious post. Good luck!

[Stu from NYC]

Originally Posted by villagetinker

Ask your wife to duct tape you to your chair.

Or use contact cement

[bogmonster]

Good thing is she is still up in Minnesota. She thinks it’s funny and knows how addicted I used to be when we first got married. She put a quick stop to it back then since I was playing 7 days a week and traveling every weekend to all parts of the SE US. Now she is fine with it and just wants me to get out and meet people.

[Carpe Diem]

You'll meet A LOT of people in a short period of time.

I know you like end loaded bats, but you hit more consistently with the balanced bat that day.

Start stretching.

Winter sign-up window closes soon.

[RonGee]

Just keep attending the meetings.

[bogmonster]

Just a little update.

Then came my overdose. Before we even started my second eval, I did something I have done a million times when I was a younger man (get your head out of the gutter, not that!), throw a ball windmill-fastpitch into the fence. Snap, oh ****. Rolled my bicep. All my hopes of hoisting the championship trophy, gone, in an instant.

Into rehab I went (actually, home, tail between my legs) for the next 3 weeks. I got the itch again and decided that after the pain subsided that i would try again. They don't do anything for a torn bicep unless you are an actor, pro-athlete or dry-waller. I'm too ugly to be an actor, too old to be a pro-athlete and dry walling sounds like work. I started attending meetings (BP and Eval) again. Swing was starting to come around, though at that point I was walking around like the guy in the old ex lax commercials since my legs haven't seen real physical activity in over 15 years. At my last eval, i was crushing the ball out of the park and gave them no choice but to put me in D1, though too late for the coveted draft.

That's when my wife checked me into a different, experimental rehab (cryotherapy) based way up North in Minnesota. They claimed 100% efficacy since nobody can think about softball with a snow shovel in their hands, -12 F and icicles hanging from their nose. I emerged from this rehab on Dec 31 a changed man.

On January 1, I returned to TV, but within a few hours I relapsed. This may be the death of me.

Please help

[bogmonster]

Snapped a picture of one of the main dealers today.

Old man in a van, down by the park. If you spot him run. You can see the supply he has. He claims to have 5x that at home and more shipments on the way

[cswett5234]

Bogmaster,

I feel your pain, as a 57yr old former softball playing fool, I mistakenly ran into a guy who ran a 55+ BASEBALL league….that’s right, fast pitch league with 4 teams. Now, I played softball for years in my 30’s, but haven’t hit a fastball since high school (…even then, I didn’t do it THAT well).

So, last summer I joined a local team here in Bath, Maine (Maine Woods Baseball is the league, you can Google it for a link). It cost $150 and they include a real uniform! We played 12 games and we went 7-5 on the rain-shortened season.

First few weeks were “adventurous” as I limped around with a pulled quad and sore left shoulder from taking a header playing the OF. The team was fun to be around. The league had a “free substitution” rule, so you could play one inning, take one off, there was unlimited pinch-running (being a younger guy, I did a lot of the running). You cannot steal from 1st to 2nd base, but you CAN steal from 2nd to 3rd base and there is NO stealing home on a passed ball.

I played OF and some infield. The guys are slow runners, so if you knock the grounder down, chances are you are going to throw’em out at 1B.

I’ve asked before and received no answer, but are there baseball leagues in TV? I like the challenge of 50 mph pitches! Let me know, thanks guys! Clint from Freeport, ME.

[John Mayes]

Originally Posted by villagetinker

ask your wife to duct tape you to your chair.

lol!!!!

[bogmonster]

Originally Posted by cswett5234

Bogmaster,

I feel your pain, as a 57yr old former softball playing fool, I mistakenly ran into a guy who ran a 55+ BASEBALL league….that’s right, fast pitch league with 4 teams. Now, I played softball for years in my 30’s, but haven’t hit a fastball since high school (…even then, I didn’t do it THAT well).

So, last summer I joined a local team here in Bath, Maine (Maine Woods Baseball is the league, you can Google it for a link). It cost $150 and they include a real uniform! We played 12 games and we went 7-5 on the rain-shortened season.

First few weeks were “adventurous” as I limped around with a pulled quad and sore left shoulder from taking a header playing the OF. The team was fun to be around. The league had a “free substitution” rule, so you could play one inning, take one off, there was unlimited pinch-running (being a younger guy, I did a lot of the running). You cannot steal from 1st to 2nd base, but you CAN steal from 2nd to 3rd base and there is NO stealing home on a passed ball.

I played OF and some infield. The guys are slow runners, so if you knock the grounder down, chances are you are going to throw’em out at 1B.

I’ve asked before and received no answer, but are there baseball leagues in TV? I like the challenge of 50 mph pitches! Let me know, thanks guys! Clint from Freeport, ME.

Haven’t heard of any

[unialimon]

Originally Posted by villagetinker

Ask your wife to duct tape you to your chair.

Ahh! The Red Green show.