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-   -   Message from an old friend (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/message-old-friend-331214/)

SGR720 04-17-2022 11:44 PM

Unfriend him on Facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084912)
Yes, I thought about deactivating my Facebook account, but I will miss the family pictures that get posted, and I do try to wish my family Happy Birthdays as Facebook is good at reminding me of birthdays. I have a big family. It is this just this one person. I did feel bad, but he made me feel bad. I do not want to call anyone I haven’t seen or talk to for 20 years. Before that meeting when we met, I saw them last when we were kids, 25 years before.

This is social media also. There is a risk with social media.

You can unfriend him on Facebook, he will not be notified that you have unfriended him but he should not be able to contact you again. In Facebook go to the help center and ask how to unfriend someone and they will give you instructions on how to do that. There is no need for you to deactivate your account just block his access to you.
Good luck.

MartinSE 04-18-2022 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by New Englander (Post 2084813)
This is exactly why I don't use ANY social media's.

Well, except you are here on a social media.

Two Bills 04-18-2022 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MartinSE (Post 2084970)
Well, except you are here on a social media.

Except on here, if anyone has any sense, they are not who they are!
I have a Facebook account, that is just for the family.
Even my details on that page are false., but our kids and friends know it is me.
There is enough real information about everyone floating about on the internet, without adding more to it unnecessarily in my humble opinion.

Regarding OP's problem, I agree with what was suggested in earlier post, and just unfriend the person. Seems easiest way out, without actually giving other person a straight refusal.

La lamy 04-18-2022 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084725)
Yes, I did try that at first. I told him politely that I went through a lot with my brother and niece and the sicknesses that they had. He did not seem to get it. He message me back with their phone numbers. I then message him again and told him I am not ready for anymore grief right now and put him on ignore on messenger. There is more to it. I heard through a mutual friend that his sister got involved in drugs. I do not need that stress. Plus, I would feel funny calling someone after so many years. He also told me not to tell her that he told me to call her and not to mention her health issues, which I do not know what they are. Just too suspicious to me. After all, I do not know them that well anymore.

Sounds like you've done what you need to do. Peace.

mkjelenbaas 04-18-2022 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084573)
I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

First of all I would not take advice from someone I do not know and on this site! Make a decision and run with it.

danglanzsr 04-18-2022 06:34 AM

If I got off Facebook, I would lose my Gary Larson, Dilbert, Amateur Guitar, and other valuable groups and my family connections! No way!

Ken D. 04-18-2022 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084725)
Yes, I did try that at first. I told him politely that I went through a lot with my brother and niece and the sicknesses that they had. He did not seem to get it. He message me back with their phone numbers. I then message him again and told him I am not ready for anymore grief right now and put him on ignore on messenger. There is more to it. I heard through a mutual friend that his sister got involved in drugs. I do not need that stress. Plus, I would feel funny calling someone after so many years. He also told me not to tell her that he told me to call her and not to mention her health issues, which I do not know what they are. Just too suspicious to me. After all, I do not know them that well anymore.

Why do I sense he’s setting you up for money? Sister has a drug problem, hmmm

tsmall22204 04-18-2022 06:56 AM

Living your life on social media will only result in hacks and scams. There are those out there that will take advantage of every opportunity to scam you.

Shoogley 04-18-2022 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084573)
I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

The older you get the more memories come flooding back because you have more time. There certain triggers ( death. Weddings, birth etc.) that bring memories to the fore. You cannot grow old friends. Make contact and take the good memories and enjoy. And share the loss of loved with a little sympathy and pain.

Petersweeney 04-18-2022 07:28 AM

Tell the person why you don’t want to get involved in the situation- you’ll sleep better at night knowing you didn’t run from the issue by”unfriending” him….

midiwiz 04-18-2022 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084573)
I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

it's funny you ask that, because I constantly wonder why people treat FB like that. It's an internet forum - you owe no one anything, including the truth. The internet has long been the mask for people. You can be whoever you want to be, if someone wants to judge you then it's their ego and problem not yours.

For those that came into the internet when AOL ruined it, you wouldn't see this it just seems like a huge social party - the internet was never a huge social party, it in fact, was a place of information that was far more accurate and far less littered than it is today. Now everyone has to document their life like it matters to the world - trust me it doesn't all you are doing is helping the hackers.

Quit worrying about all that and just do whatever you want to do - that's it

bp243 04-18-2022 07:42 AM

Facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084573)
I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

You kind and sensitive nature is a gift, but we all have control over how our gifts are shared. Clearly, you are still experiencing your own losses and this acquaintance seems to have missed that. Perhaps politely acknowledge that this isn’t the best time for you, but that you’ll keep his concerns in mind for the future. Then, if he still doesn’t get the message either unfriend or block him. Lots of choices. Good luck!

Queenie504 04-18-2022 07:44 AM

Whats the bug deal? Unfriend and block them both. They don't need to know your business.

Jeffery M 04-18-2022 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOMCAT (Post 2084573)
I want a little feedback on this problem, if anyone would like to comment. Facebook is a way to connect to your old acquaintances. I do not wish to call anyone that I have not seen for twenty years.

There is this guy I have not seen in twenty years nor his sister. That time when I saw them was at a funeral for a mutual friend. To make a long story short, this past year my niece passed away and four months later her father, my brother, passed away also. This guy who is one of my Facebook friends is aware of this because I posted it on Facebook. This guy private messaged me to call his sister because she has health issues. I have not seen or talk to his sister in over twenty years. What would you do? I find it strange and inconsiderate for him to do this as he is aware of my loss.

If you feel that you want to contact his sister then go ahead. She wasn't the one being tactless. That is her brother. As far as he goes, just disregard him. If he wants to be considerate and contact you then fine. Tell him how you felt about his lack of sympathy. If he continues being inconsiderate toward you then he is being self-centered, and the best thing to do is recognize that he is the type of person you don't need in your life. Stay away from a narcissistic person like that.

Jeanette.U 04-18-2022 07:48 AM

My family is also spread across the country. We have a private family Facebook group where only the members can see what is posted.


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