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-   The Villages, Florida, General Discussion (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/)
-   -   Missing the people that 'know' you (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/missing-people-know-you-98294/)

perrjojo 12-16-2013 07:23 PM

It does take time to build a history with new friends and that will come in time.

kittygilchrist 12-16-2013 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctommft (Post 796454)
I suggest starting an activity that you see as your own, a tradition or ritual. These will become the source of comfort to you in future years as you build TV as your home. The ritual is your choice as are the people who you ask to join you. Could be something as simple as driving around TV looking at home decorations, Christmas caroling, visiting a nursing home, followed by a get-together at your home. Certain foods or drinks can enhance the ritual (eggnog, hot cider, ???). The guest list can be 2 persons or 100 persons. Make it yours. Don't copy one from your old home.

I like that idea, Tom. my family rituals are all shot out by my mother's passing, so I'm making it up this year, and happy to be among new friends. I'm calling my golf cart ride with a friend to look at Christmas decorations a sleigh ride!

sharonga 12-16-2013 09:35 PM

That was the most beautiful post I have ever read. Thank you.

sharonga 12-16-2013 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 796537)
Beautiful Senior. I want to be more like you.

So beautiful. Thank you

DougB 12-16-2013 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 796537)
Beautiful Senior. I want to be more like you.

Could you summarize for me? My attention span isn't long enough for posts over one paragraph.

Happinow 12-16-2013 10:26 PM

Surround yourself with family
 
I think the holidays bring out the best in us and sometimes brings out the loneliness in our hearts. It is certainly understandable. For me, it is necessary to spend Christmas with my family, be it my daughter and grand baby, or my family back home. It just wouldn't feel right unless I did. Is it possible to surround yourself with family durning the holidays?? If not, I have found that there are people in TV who would welcome you with open arms not only durning the holidays but at any time. I think if you give it time, you will meet at least one close friend or close couple that you can have a lasting relationship with. Try to start new traditions and do new things. As others have said, you will just click with someone who you will call your friend or friends for this part of the journey. It's not easy finding just the right friend or friends, but I will bet if you give it time, your friendships could be even more powerful than the ones you left. We are all in the same boat here in TV....just give it time. I wish you all the best.

2BNTV 12-17-2013 01:09 AM

Old friends will always have a large piece of my heart with them. The many good times we shared, and the things we did for each other, out of love, and wanting to do the right thing.

Being able to discuss problems and or concerns, with everyone looking to help each one another. The times we laughed so hard, because what they did, was so darn funny.

My best friend asked me to look at his son's toy dog, as it had stopped working. I checked it, and noticed a switch that was in the wrong postion. This is a toy dog that when ,you clapped your hands, it would take a few steps forward , bark and stand on it's hind leges. So I quitely moved the switch to the right position, and asked him to try it. My friend clapped his hands and the dog was working.

My friend asked what was wrong with the toy dog.

I replied, "the dog was deaf".

With that I could see he was trying to hold in his laughter, but he didn't make it as he spewed in my face, as he started to laugh so hard. I join him in laughter too!!

This is a true story, as you can't make up this kind of stuff up, folks!!

Some traditions are developed with old friends, and one must start new friendships, with the realization that it may never reach the level of old friends.
That is what life is about, taking changes by putting yourself out there.

smcgirl 12-20-2013 09:11 AM

My mind needs to settle down
 
We had only bought our home in the Villages in September, and here we are up north with our large family since Thanksgiving. Our large family lived just a breath away from each other for 40 years.There was NO way we could not be here; surrounded by all this family..staying with our oldest (she has done so much to make us feel welcome). Oh my dear friends in TV, it just is not the same. You dont just stop by and have coffee..you are a guest and nobody want unexpected guests, even family. 1 week would have been plenty, maybe 4 days. My husband, who I brought to The Villages bound and gagged in the trunk, has whispered to me 20 times, " baby, I want to go home". That my friends tells you life moves forward. Let the memories come into your heart, feel the saddness for a moment, the let it go..and look around. You have set yourself up for a happy life. Hope I made sense. Peace, Love, and Happiness to all. See you real soon, like DEC 26th.

2BNTV 12-20-2013 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smcgirl (Post 798590)
We had only bought our home in the Villages in September, and here we are up north with our large family since Thanksgiving. Our large family lived just a breath away from each other for 40 years.There was NO way we could not be here; surrounded by all this family..staying with our oldest (she has done so much to make us feel welcome). Oh my dear friends in TV, it just is not the same. You dont just stop by and have coffee..you are a guest and nobody want unexpected guests, even family. 1 week would have been plenty, maybe 4 days. My husband, who I brought to The Villages bound and gagged in the trunk, has whispered to me 20 times, " baby, I want to go home". That my friends tells you life moves forward. Let the memories come into your heart, feel the saddness for a moment, the let it go..and look around. You have set yourself up for a happy life. Hope I made sense. Peace, Love, and Happiness to all. See you real soon, like DEC 26th.

Your post makes perfect sense. Old friends are like a family member, who was nicknamed, "shoe" because he was so comfortable to be around. I am missing my old friends too, but I would never maove from the villages and it's wonderful people. I would never let a temporary feeling drive my life.

I am hoping my old friends will visit, so I can experience the glow of their love, and sense of family. Another reason I miss my old friends is that, I feel safe around them as I know in my heart they would never do anything to hurt me.

Madelaine Amee 12-20-2013 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smcgirl (Post 798590)
We had only bought our home in the Villages in September, and here we are up north with our large family since Thanksgiving. Our large family lived just a breath away from each other for 40 years.There was NO way we could not be here; surrounded by all this family..staying with our oldest (she has done so much to make us feel welcome). Oh my dear friends in TV, it just is not the same. You dont just stop by and have coffee..you are a guest and nobody want unexpected guests, even family. 1 week would have been plenty, maybe 4 days. My husband, who I brought to The Villages bound and gagged in the trunk, has whispered to me 20 times, " baby, I want to go home". That my friends tells you life moves forward. Let the memories come into your heart, feel the saddness for a moment, the let it go..and look around. You have set yourself up for a happy life. Hope I made sense. Peace, Love, and Happiness to all. See you real soon, like DEC 26th.

This is a great post and, unfortunately, so true. We are headed back for Christmas to the frozen north to enjoy the holidays with our family. They will be so pleased to see us, then the grandchildren will be off and running with their friends, or off to work, the parents are still working and they will be gone and we will basically be sitting in someone elses home with their dogs until they all come back at night. But, if we don't go we will be excommunicated from the family.

On the other hand, we did spend one Christmas Day here on our own due to health reasons and not being able to travel - I will never forget the hollow feeling of doing Christmas over the phone ............. but, it only lasted one day and then things came back to normal. There are so many people here who are away from their family, and the squares are a great place to just sit and talk to other people in the same position as you!

As a postscript, I should add that I end up doing the washing and drying, folding clothes, putting away their "stuff" to kill the time until I can come back here and do the washing/drying/folding clothes and putting away our "stuff" ......... oh well such is life in the fast lane!

DandyGirl 12-20-2013 10:32 AM

We learned early in our marriage to depend on each other. As a military family, friends come and go in your life quickly so you make the most of celebrations. We always invited single soldiers to our home for Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner and I always tried to include favorite dishes from their family traditions. I'll never forget the guy from MI who wanted baked beans, strange for me, but I included it in the menu to make him feel at home. I guess what I'm saying is embrace your old traditions and make some new ones, too. This year we are having a holiday open house for friends and neighbors! Peace on earth, good will to all.

travelguy 12-21-2013 07:49 PM

It is all what you make of it. I never did like the endless parade of people in and out of the house on Christmas Day; people/relatives we hardly saw at any other time of the year. Gifts that no one really needed, much less appreciated. Some in my family kept themselves busy on Christmas Day by volunteering at the local hospital; or serving meals at a soup kitchen. Maybe that is what it is really all about. Do something for others.

senior citizen 12-28-2013 05:49 AM

Excellent idea any time of the year
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by travelguy (Post 799302)
It is all what you make of it. I never did like the endless parade of people in and out of the house on Christmas Day; people/relatives we hardly saw at any other time of the year. Gifts that no one really needed, much less appreciated. Some in my family kept themselves busy on Christmas Day by volunteering at the local hospital; or serving meals at a soup kitchen. Maybe that is what it is really all about. Do something for others.


Excellent idea any time of the year......

I was just telling my husband that it would be worthwhile to visit an old mentor of his (now pushing 90) who has been living at the Veterans Home here in our town. Some of these oldtimers become lost and forgotten, once they are out of the mainstream.
Sad , but true.

We used to get a lot of warmth and good feelings from visiting not just my mom in the nursing home, but all of the other residents who had no weekly visitors at all. They could interact with us, when she no longer could speak. They were all starved for visitors, or just someone to push their wheelchairs out onto the patio (so they could hear the birds sing and smell the flowers and green grass). Nurses and aides are so busy, as well as the activity directors.

There are so many who are lonely and alone on Christmas, New Years and all through the year.........

For those of us who prefer a quiet celebration to ring in 2014, a good deed of visiting the confined veterans or elderly, would indeed warm everyone's heart.


smcgirl 12-28-2013 10:07 AM

We arrived home from the visit just as planned on the 26th. The moments of saddness come and go thinking of that great family we have created. My mind likes to look foward to the coming year of great fun with my husband and new friends. I like what someone said about not letting a few moments of sad feelings run your life. We are getting settled in and are ready for "the second half of the book", its always the best!

JaniceOhio 12-28-2013 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SALYBOW (Post 796554)
I am still very homesick for the people back home. It does help to go to the Cincinnati Club and meet with other people from Cincy; people who know what goetta is and how good it is, people who understand that Skyline is a Cincinnati chili like no other :mmmm:, people who are extremely conscious not to hurt someones feeling on purpose, and people who know that the chocolate chips in Graeters ice cream can easily be 2 inches long and 1 inch wide.
I am getting ready to leave for home on Thursday and I can't wait !!!!!
:wave::pepper2::a040::MOJE_whot:

Hi SALYBOW!

I went to Woodward, class of '65. Then on to Miami U. Ended up in Columbus but love goetta, have Skyline when I can and adore Graeters everything! Graeters Swifton (sp?) was across from school. Was more candy than ice cream in those days... Was forbidden to hang out in Mt. Adams but still made it to The Blind Lemon as often as possible! :pepper2:

PM me if you want to connect! Janice :spoken:

Closing in Gilchrist in January and will be there for a week. PM me if you want to connect!


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