Mrs. Tony has explained to me several times that I am certainly not Mr. Always Right. And I always listen carefully to her. I learned that one time when she said "Shut up" and I thought she said "Stand up."

I have reason to believe that Mr. Tony, Mr. Admin, Sir is setting yet another trap for me. I cannot understand why he insists that I am an English major. I do not know how he got such an idea.

The trap? -- Well, a few posts back, Mr. Tony, Mr. Admin, Sir used the wrong its/it's. Of course, I know he did that on purpose. Mr. Tony is trying to discombobulate me, to the point where I will not be able to stand it anymore and will point out his error. It's a trap and I know it. He thinks he will get to point at me with one finger, and twirl his mustache with another, and shout, "AHA! English major!" But I am not falling for it.

And besides, there is a lot more to English majors than meets the apostrophe. English majors have the unwelcome yoke of that grammarian stuff thrust upon them. (Around here sometimes, it looks like more of an unwelcome yolk.)

So anyway, now I am going to do something that maybe I should not do. I am going to repeat a story. But I guess if I admit upfront (Or is it up front?) that I know I am repeating the story, it will be OK to repeat the story. I just have to repeat the story because it so clearly illustrates the trials and tribulations of being thought to be an English major. And there might be somebody who does not understand the difficulties English majors must endure sometimes, and the story might help.

So if you have gotten this far, but you have read this little story of mine before, just close your eyes while you read it this time.......


I have written before about a friend of mine who is not only an English major, but an English teacher. (The most besmirched of all the English majors.) Anyway, in our younger days, when she was still single, she would sometimes go with her friends to one of those meet markets -- aka, a bar. (Or is it a. k. a.? Does it need that comma behind it?)

She was a clever English major because she knew exactly what to do when some guy started hitting on her by asking, "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

If she thought he was cute, she would tell him her sign. (A lot of English majors are Libras I bet.) And she would wait for the next question which was usually, "What do you do?"

And at that point, she would say, "I work for the phone company." (I don't know why she picked the phone company, but she always said that.)

Of course, if she thought he was a jerk or a loser, she would just say, "I am an English teacher." She knew that would guarantee that he would flee or at least move down a couple of barstools.

Later on, with the ones she liked, she could get them so lured in with her way with words that by the time she got around to telling them that she was, indeed, an English teacher, they were so hopelessly smitten that they said they understood and forgave her immediately.

She eventually married a guy who came to fix her furnace. And fix it he did. And they lived happily ever after.

Boomer

Is this just a rumor, Boomer???
 

"And besides, there is a lot more to English majors than meets the apostrophe. English majors have the unwelcome yoke of that grammarian stuff thrust upon them. (Around here sometimes, it looks like more of an unwelcome yolk.)"

I read with interest your above epistle and noticed this part right away. I need your comment on this information that I got from a very unreliable source."; English majors are oversexed."

Now this may be untrue, but the malicious and very jealous part of me made me type it. I really like you English majors. Pretty much.

This would be a good thread;

THE BEST PICKUP LINE I HAVE EVER HEARD.....about.

Gracie. Born under the Sunoco sign.

It's great that I can learn something new even at my age. I have always said "pom-poms."

I guess I was led astray by popular culture, not being a cheerleader.

Wikipedia notes, "The use of the similar-sounding rendition 'pom-pom' is very common, especially among popular culture, including films, entertainment sources and general laypeople, but most cheerleaders, coaches, cheer equipment suppliers and manufacturers and others involved in the sport will use the term 'pompon'. Often, pompons are referred to simply as 'poms'."

Dictionary.com defines pompom as "A ball of fluffy material, such as feathers or strips of colored paper, that is waved by cheerleaders and sports fans," although it is not the preferred definition.

Gracie, Gracie, Gracie,

I think you have mixed up a couple of different rumors. I bet I know where you got that idea about English majors. It was probably from something you heard about -- sort of -- in English class. But I just bet you were not paying attention in class because you were busy flirting with the boy who was sitting next to you. Uh huh.

The rumor you are passing along here was about The Wife of Bath, not about English majors.

Here is probably what you were supposed to hear....

In Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales one of the characters is the Wife of Bath. The Wife of Bath is described as having a space between her two front teeth. An English professor told me those teeth were supposed to mean that the Wife of Bath was oversexed.

Well, you can imagine my surprise because my high school English teacher had told me that those teeth were supposed to mean that the Wife of Bath would travel far.

I do not really know the truth about the Wife of Bath in the Canterbury Tales. I am just passing along the information that I think might have led to your rumoring. I am just trying to clarify what probably happened in your English class, too, when you were not paying attention and thought the teacher was talking about herself.

So Gracie, all I am doing here is speculating on how this rumor got started. I am just passing along some information that I got in English classes past. Information -- just so maybe you can see if that could be where the rumor got started about English majors. I am just passing along information you realize. Now, please do not go out into the world and tell everybody that Boomer is an infomaniac.

Boomer

Boomer, you are certainly correct about the Wife of Bath. Many literary critics write of her sexual nature and many PhD dissertations revolve around Chuacer's reasons for portraying her as such a tart.

That does not mean that English majors are not over-sexed. I have been around English majors and English grad students for a good part of my life and while it is only anecdotal, I would have to agree with the generalization that they are indeed over-sexed.

Oh my! Well, there's the stuff of a dissertation. I guess citing the sources could be fraught with some real issues though.

This thread is a classic illustration of where things go when English majors get in the loop. -- not that I am saying that I am one, mind you. But I have certainly noticed that English majors do so love to take a topic all over the place. I think this thread started with some little grammatical thing, and the thread was not started by an English major.

Boomer, face down in the stream of consciousness

I do love how this thread has meandered.

Let us not forget that the Wife of Bath grew angry with her fifth husband because as a clerk, he was more interested in books than sex. Perhaps this refutes the claim that English majors are oversexed?

I guess it's back to TV, TV' and TV's.

I vote for taking the easy way out when making it possessive. Just forget about the abbreviation and use The Villages' amenities (or whatever it is that is belonging to TV in a particular sentence.)

And, btw, Mr. Tony, I know you think acronyms should be abolished, and now you are all hung up on pom poms or pon pons so I just want to make sure you know something that will never let you look at pom poms in quite the same way again. Did you know that POM is an acronym? It is a polar operational meteorological satellite. Hah! Double the fun, Mr. Tony.

Boomer

Hey re-tire, that, too. -- which reminds me....I really must get up from in front of this computer and go to the grocery store. (That pomegranate stuff can make a good martini I hear.) I think I better get out of here before I get all sidetracked again and start telling the story of what I saw happen when a chocolate martini was involved.....or I could get all into Greek mythology and start telling that story about the pomegranate seeds and the underworld. But I will spare the reader....for now.

Boomer

NO. I don't think it was the wife of Bath or the wife of Beowolf. ....Or not even that old cuss that said "Gang oot and bar the door." Maybe it was Shakespeare. There is a lot of dirty quotes in there. I know it wasn't Childe Harold.

It is my observation that you are correct and may be............ an infomaniac.

But I still like you Boomer.

Gracie. Who sometimes reads hard backs.

Hey russ
 

you really got some serious mileage out of a three word thread starter!! AMAZING :boom:

Who knew????
 

For some reason I decided to google "Famous English Majors."

Harrison Ford and Paul Newman and Mario Cuomo and Giamatti, the Baseball Commissioner, and Michael Eisner, the Disney CEO, and Don Henley -- just gotta love those "Dirty Laundry" lyrics. -- I should have known he was an English major. And some coaches. (I don't know anything about sports though so I did not recognize their names.) And a whole bunch more. Some might surprise you a lot. Some not.

Here is the link I found....

http://www.cwu.edu/~english/FamousEnglishMajors.html

Boomer

Only an English major would search for others stricken similarly.

And I didn't see you mention Chelsea, who is close to an English major.

Horse shoe throws count things if they are close. And please notice that I said horse shoes, not what your thinking.

Hey re-tire,

I just recently heard about a drink called "Tequila Mockingbird." I wonder if that is the recipe. In spite of sounding like an English major, I gotta tellya, I just love the name of that drink.

Boomer the Novel Lover