I see you noticed how long I have been on this chat site. We were going to move down there in 2018, but the house that we were going to buy was lost by another who put the offer in before us. My husband was disappointed and did not want any other house. My son was not living near us at that time but now he moved back.

I finally retired in 2017 and was moving in 2018.

I would stay where you are. Visiting just isn’t the same as being there.

One thing about Florida is it’s very transient. People come and go all the time, even at our age. And at our age our health can cause us to move back close to family.

I have lived in Florida for 25 years so obviously like living here.

But Florida is not for everyone.

Leaving family and lifelong friends isn’t easy.
In addition, all the numerous activities here are great when in good health but eventually you may not be able to participate as you age.

Many factors will enter into your decision. Your age, health, motivation,
age of grands, etc. Will you like the heat of the Summers?
Just take the time to decide what is best for you.

I thought you were moving back because you hated it here with the shoddy construction, the unreasonable deed restrictions, and untrimmed palm trees.

I joined the site in 2008, bought my first TV home in 2021. It didn't take ME long to decide. Convincing DW took 13 years.

Villagers by definition have cut the cord. The only question is to what degree. Maybe you can snowbird for a while to see how you feel.

Yes, this is common!
 

I know at least two couples who are going through this right now! You are by no means alone in this dilemma. I’m from New York too, btw. One is a friend from college, so we go way back. Her situation involves a sick father in law, however, not a son or daughter, but it’s the same idea. She’s not comfortable moving to The Villages because of this. Ironically, her husband is the one who’s anxious to move.

The other couple involves my cousin. He wants to move, but his wife doesn’t because she has children close by her in NJ. Anyway, just wanted to give you some support, as this is a common problem. Personally I’d say make the move, and enjoy the visits with your family!

I know of an extended 10 family members household where a 17 year grandchild told the grandfather she was to busy to pick him up a coffee on the way to the home where they all lived.
At the family dinner grandpa looked across the table and announced to all there" grandchildren, overrated"

Not at all….. The kids have no problem moving away for a better job or life, so why should we stay put??

Nope !!!!!

Thank you all for your suggestions. My husband and I are looking at 55+ communities here in Long Island, but nothing here compares to The Villages. The Villages is beautiful. It is kept clean, and I like the idea of driving a golf cart and can have a little detached home. There are many clubs to join, and the squares to me are a plus. I cannot find that here.

Enjoy your lives there, and maybe one day I will be there.

Absolutely. Remained in Pittsburgh until youngest Grandchild hit 13. Then my wife agreed to move here. In my opinion, ten years to late.

We move here 14 years ago and our 7 grandkids were all under the age of 11 yrs. I was retired and was watching one of the younger ones several times a week. While I love my grandkids, I did not retire to be a babysitter, but never shared that with my daughter or son. My wife was still working. The grandkids all lived within 15 min of us. It was very difficult for my wife to retire and to leave the grandkids. Over the years, they came down several time a year, and we would go back for Christmas. In the long run, it was the best decision for all. Three of the grandchildren are in college in Florida and we see them oftern. My daughter will be moving here in another year. There has never been resentment on our children's part for leaving. Life is very short and once in a while you have to do what is best for you. If we stayed where we grew up, out life style would never have been as great as we enjoyed the last 14 years. Your choice.

"I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong". Thank you Charles Schulz

Retirement living
 

Our grandkids come down twice a year without the parents giving us a chance to spend quality time with them. When they were smaller, we flew up and brought them back. Now that they are teenagers, they fly down alone and we pick up at airport. They love the villages. And we do go up twice a year to see the whole family.

My four grandkids range from 1 to 16. Our grandson will be turning one in a couple of days. We wanted to wait until the little ones get to know us better. The younger granddaughter will be 3 next month, and the other is 9. My son and daughter-in-law were talking about going to Disney World, and I was thinking if only we were living there, they could have stayed with us.