I am so very sorry to hear about your wife. I hope and pray you find happiness again.

As we age I think it’s just natural to think more about the day we will die. It is my faith in Jesus Christ, God's only begotten son, and the work He did for me in conquering death on the cross and His resurrection that makes me have the certain hope of living with Him in heaven forever. All God asks of us is to turn away from our sin (repent) and turn to Him and believe in Jesus. Receive the GIFT of eternal life from Him.

So sad. I will pray for you. I pray that God will comfort you in your time of grieving.

I’m sorry Joelfmi. 😢. Wonder if there is a men’s support group in the area. I know this type of group has been helpful for many men where I lived up North. Hospice is a good place to start looking if you’re so inclined to find such a group. Men’s groups are not necessarily about talking, but instead comradery.

Thank you for the thought provoking post. I am very thankful for my health, family and this wonderful chapter of our lives. I spent a career in the fire service so I realize my choice of career likely shortened my life expectancy but I don’t dwell on that. I wrote a blank check with my life when I joined the fire service and resolved my final destiny through faith in Jesus Christ some years later. Now I am resolved to make these years my best years regardless of how many or few may be left. I focus on living rather than death.

Death is just the beginning. You were created with an soul which will live for all eternity. It's up to you where it'll spend it. :a040::a040::a040:

Having had a minor is psychology, the shrinks like most others try to put things into neat boxes for communication. There are two stressful times in your life and they are sort of related. The exact age varies but about 17, the stress is what will I do with my life. About 60 it is what have I done with my life.

Peace, for me it is recognizing there are things you cannot change, not everything unlike in third grade has a do-over. Regrets will never bring happiness or result in anything at all that is positive.

All you can do is the best you can. Do not let what others think matter more than they are worth. What others think, selecting the others is a life art. What they think only matters if the they will still be there to pick up the pieces if it goes bad. Makes for a far shorter list of people whose opinion matters.

I've lived here for 10 years. I just looked a some of my old e-mails and I see that in 2019 (just prior to covid) I reviewed my will and updated my 5 Wishes document. I gave copies to 2 of my relatives. I wonder if I had ESP into what would occur in the coming year - covid. Fortunately I didn't get covid but eventually I'll get something.

That's sounds like a smart thing to do.

Ohiobuckeye
 

Ever since I had my 5 way heart bypass in Nov. of 2011. I think about it all the time & when will my newest plumbing will wear out. I just remember my heart Dr. saying, “Well your all set for the Nexted 10 to 15 yrs”. So yes, I think about it a lot. I keep thinking, how much exercise should I be doing & what exercising should I be doing & am I eating right!

One of the best things you can do is to organize all your information about insurance, health care, long term care, financial information including auto-pays and credit cards and make sure your children or heirs know all that and where you keep it, including passwords for accounts. Also, make sure you have an up to date will, especially if you have a previous will from another state as Florida has its own idiosyncrasies. When you are gone it will not be your problem but this will greatly ease the burden on those that come after.

Any one at our age will certainly be thinking on these things. You said in your opening "thank God", assuming that you are a beleiver, (some people say things but don mean them), this should be easier. If we are believers in Jesus Christ we have a more eternal view on this topic. That gives us the peace that surpasses all uunderstanding. And don't worry. Despite that peace I'm guessing none of us want to be on this afternoon boat leaving to heaven . 😄

I don’t have time to think about death. I have been battling a uncurable cancer for 7.5 years so all I have time for is living and deciding what we are doing next. I have no plans to go anywhere for a long time.

Every day of my life I realize it could be the last but there is no fear of death. Why? The answer is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Romans 10:9-10 if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved. Forward the heart main believe it onto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. Romans 10:13 tells you how to do this. For whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. No more fear of death to be absent with the body is to be present with the lord

Any one at our age will certainly be thinking on these things. You said in your opening "thank God", assuming that you are a beleiver, (some people say things but don mean them), this should be easier. If we are believers in Jesus Christ we have a more eternal view on this topic. That gives us the peace that surpasses all uunderstanding. And don't worry. Despite that peace I'm guessing none of us want to be on this afternoon boat leaving to heaven . 😄

I remember visiting my grandma for her 94th birthday and she had been in a nursing home at that point probably 2 years. She was asleep curled up like a baby not much of a life to live. I said to my dad, who is standing next to me, I don't think I want to live to be 94. His immediate without thinking response was you might want to wait till your 93 to make that call. the wisdom of our parents

For every breath I take, someone is taking their last. I aim to enjoy every second of my life.

Here’s what I hold to.
John 3:16-17

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I too lost a best friend in July 2020, couldn't wrap my head around her very early death. Someone told me of the book, the medium next door, by Maureen Hancock. Which I bought and got so much comfort from. No, not trying to get you on a path that you have no interest in, I understand...but the interesting thing she writes is that, yes they pass, but they are still with us, just not in the same form. Almost like the change a caterpillar goes thru. And if you let yourself listen and be aware you might start feeling her presence still there, and find comfort.
I would be happy to send this book to you, or drop it off when I get down there in april. 😌

This is why we are making the move to Tge Villages now. No idea how long we have left and want to enjoy as much as we can.

I originally came up with this thread because I remember back a few years while driving on the New Jersey Turnpike, I stopped near Secaucus to fuel-up. Next to me I saw two young kids both driving together a brand new Indian Motorcycle still with the paper tag. They both seemed very happy and I was a bit jealous. The three of us talked about the bike and both appeared to be two nice young guys.

Both of us left at about the same time and naturally the motorcycle drove away faster than myself. Within a few minutes, I was caught in a major traffic jam and traffic didn't move for an hour. Traffic finally cleared and as I drove, I saw alot of police cars on the side of the road and that same Indian Motorcycle with a paper tag damaged on the ground and two yellow death clothes covering two bodies. At that moment I just realized that I was probably the last person these guys met before their death and I'm confident that these guys absolutely no idea what was about to happen to them.

In 2019 I lost my wife of 50 years, and felt the same as you do. I was very lucky, while I was working as a volunteer in a hospital, I met a young lady who had just lost her husband. We were married Oct. 1st. I know how difficult it is, but you must keep a positive attitude, and pray. God Bless and Be well. Message me back if you would like to talk.

Yes, I think about it often. At our age, that's probably a good thing. But then... what happens after I die? Now THAT'S what I want to focus on. We will all meet our Maker, and we can be ready when that time comes.

No. It comes to all of us. Hopefully we just drift away. But the problem is the ones you leave behind. So get your estate paperwork in order and make sure your survivors know your wishes . Have a Will, Power of Attorney (only valid while you are alive) and health directive. Have a file with copies of all your monthly and annual bills (for account number, phone number and address). Have copies of all your financial statements. I would write up a memo on what to do. If you maintain the home be sure to tell your survivors the maintenance that is required. I would also arrange for and pay for the funeral. Once you have made it as easy as you can on your survivors no need to worry about death.

Nope, only thinking about living.

You also have to be prepared for sudden death, and speaking from experience, make sure the one's left behind know where everything is, who to call, where to go, where to find what, and what to do. I'll even say, you might even want to take it one step further, and have your funeral / Celebration of Life planned out. That way the family doesn't have to make sudden, and foggy decisions. Make it easier on the people left behind.

There is a great book out that will help you, and them, "I'm Dead. Now What".
Amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=i%27m+dea...l_78tyya23g2_e

Enjoy and live the rest of your life living, not thinking about dying. If there is something you want to do, do it.

Amen, I agree. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and His death on the cross for your sins and Heaven awaits upon your death.

me too! my daughter & i are figuring what time we need to get up for the 1st breakfast of the day :1rotfl:

I am a mobile notary and meet many seniors who have a fear of death and procrastinate getting their "house in order." Please don't wait until you're in a coma or been diagnosed with dementia............you're family will thank you. If you don't have a Trust, please consider a Durable Power of Attorney and a Last Will & Testiment, at a minimum. I can help.

Alzheimer's doesn't hit everyone. Both my mother and mother-in-law lived to be nearly 100. My mother-in-law did crossword puzzles in ink and kept one son's business records for him. Mt mother balanced her check book and kept track of all household expenses. It's all in the genes. If Alzheimer's runs in your family, get things in order now and live every day as best you can. When a friend's father turned 104 and was asked what he wanted to do for his birthday he said "go to Hooters". He went with other old friends and had a great time.

Another Doris Day song:
 

You are not afraid of being dead, most fear the death experience.
 

Take control now of how you want to die ( 5 wishes, a will, a power of attorney, medical power of attorney) Is staying out of pain #1, not being forced to die in a hospital( unless of course it happens in a er) etc. After working in hospice, I can tell you that people choose the moment of death. Many wait to see someone, many wait till everyone goes for coffee...if you are scared,speak to any open minded person who has ever cared for hospice clients. Unless you have a huge religious block that blinds you to what you see in front of you over and over, then anyone that has spent time with the dying will tell you that death is nothing to fear. Only fear is leaving the past( living or life) just as it is scary to walk away from any other part of the past in order to experience the future.

Here is a link to our Centers for Wellbeing if you are interested

Cornerstone Centers for Wellbeing

Family experience. A healthcare directive you should discuss with your family. My uncle had a signed DNR. He had a major stroke and was brain dead. Though I was as close to him as I was to my father. His son demanded that the hospital resuscitate him.
I of course said nothing. I could not, would not. My uncle was resuscitated, he died shortly later. Yet, another gray area in the real world.

I regret that I can no longer honestly ask older people I know to explain jokes about getting old.

I have a friend who buys piles of condolence cards. I asked him not to buy one for me,
I hope it will be yellowed by the time it is needed.

As an agnostic and a believer in reincarnation, I know, lots of issues there . . . I tell myself, time before my birth existed as did I, time after my death will exist, as will I.

I have had moments of reincarnation recall, not deja vu but something from my past life reaching to me. I find incredible comfort in those moments, as a reminder that I have to pass from this life to reach my next life.

I believe in the soul. The internal energy it possesses.

I agree Paula. I don’t fear death I fear the goodbyes. Having an only child and watching her fear for that moment is the hardest part. She was born when I was forty, so not lots of time to share and teach her.

What choice do we have? Unless we pull the plug ourselves the end of life comes at the end... when ever and what ever that might look like. Dementia is a curse on the aged for sure. But, we live as long as we are given.

What does that really mean? From whom did we borrow the time? In truth all of our time is on loan. It comes and then it goes. And, as it goes we think more and more about our end time. Is that so unnatural?

Yep, a good old Woody Allen line. And, it's soooo flippin' true.