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-   -   Thinking Lately About Death (https://www.talkofthevillages.com/forums/villages-florida-general-discussion-73/thinking-lately-about-death-317205/)

FG111 03-09-2021 12:00 PM

I originally came up with this thread because I remember back a few years while driving on the New Jersey Turnpike, I stopped near Secaucus to fuel-up. Next to me I saw two young kids both driving together a brand new Indian Motorcycle still with the paper tag. They both seemed very happy and I was a bit jealous. The three of us talked about the bike and both appeared to be two nice young guys.

Both of us left at about the same time and naturally the motorcycle drove away faster than myself. Within a few minutes, I was caught in a major traffic jam and traffic didn't move for an hour. Traffic finally cleared and as I drove, I saw alot of police cars on the side of the road and that same Indian Motorcycle with a paper tag damaged on the ground and two yellow death clothes covering two bodies. At that moment I just realized that I was probably the last person these guys met before their death and I'm confident that these guys absolutely no idea what was about to happen to them.

jswirs 03-09-2021 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joelfmi (Post 1913069)
Every Morning I wake up now I think of the loss of my wife of 55 years to covid during during May 2020. in a assisted living facility NYS . The loss of my wife should not have occurred. This is what torments me.
She was my best friend and a wonderful women to me and my children. I feel that my my life is over. Ever Day for me is a struggle

In 2019 I lost my wife of 50 years, and felt the same as you do. I was very lucky, while I was working as a volunteer in a hospital, I met a young lady who had just lost her husband. We were married Oct. 1st. I know how difficult it is, but you must keep a positive attitude, and pray. God Bless and Be well. Message me back if you would like to talk.

Cindy619 03-09-2021 12:59 PM

Yes, I think about it often. At our age, that's probably a good thing. But then... what happens after I die? Now THAT'S what I want to focus on. We will all meet our Maker, and we can be ready when that time comes.

rjm1cc 03-09-2021 01:21 PM

No. It comes to all of us. Hopefully we just drift away. But the problem is the ones you leave behind. So get your estate paperwork in order and make sure your survivors know your wishes . Have a Will, Power of Attorney (only valid while you are alive) and health directive. Have a file with copies of all your monthly and annual bills (for account number, phone number and address). Have copies of all your financial statements. I would write up a memo on what to do. If you maintain the home be sure to tell your survivors the maintenance that is required. I would also arrange for and pay for the funeral. Once you have made it as easy as you can on your survivors no need to worry about death.

Rzepecki 03-09-2021 01:41 PM

Nope, only thinking about living.

lisarenee523 03-09-2021 01:56 PM

You also have to be prepared for sudden death, and speaking from experience, make sure the one's left behind know where everything is, who to call, where to go, where to find what, and what to do. I'll even say, you might even want to take it one step further, and have your funeral / Celebration of Life planned out. That way the family doesn't have to make sudden, and foggy decisions. Make it easier on the people left behind.

There is a great book out that will help you, and them, "I'm Dead. Now What".
Amazon.com

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=i%27m+dea...l_78tyya23g2_e

Enjoy and live the rest of your life living, not thinking about dying. If there is something you want to do, do it.

dstinchcomb2@yahoo.com 03-09-2021 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dandjg (Post 1912958)
Heaven awaits me. Read the book of John in the New Testament. I have the joy and peace from the Lord in good times and bad.

Amen, I agree. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and His death on the cross for your sins and Heaven awaits upon your death.

PugMom 03-09-2021 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenswing (Post 1912863)
I've been thinking more about the new McDonalds..

me too! my daughter & i are figuring what time we need to get up for the 1st breakfast of the day :1rotfl:

vitacr 03-09-2021 02:22 PM

I am a mobile notary and meet many seniors who have a fear of death and procrastinate getting their "house in order." Please don't wait until you're in a coma or been diagnosed with dementia............you're family will thank you. If you don't have a Trust, please consider a Durable Power of Attorney and a Last Will & Testiment, at a minimum. I can help.

Dot Rheinhardt 03-09-2021 02:31 PM

Alzheimer's doesn't hit everyone. Both my mother and mother-in-law lived to be nearly 100. My mother-in-law did crossword puzzles in ink and kept one son's business records for him. Mt mother balanced her check book and kept track of all household expenses. It's all in the genes. If Alzheimer's runs in your family, get things in order now and live every day as best you can. When a friend's father turned 104 and was asked what he wanted to do for his birthday he said "go to Hooters". He went with other old friends and had a great time.

furbish 03-09-2021 03:16 PM

Another Doris Day song:
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1912700)

Doris Day - Whatever Will Be Will Be Que Sera Sera (Best All Time Hits Forever 2014 / HQ) Mu(C)o - YouTube

newgirl 03-09-2021 04:04 PM

You are not afraid of being dead, most fear the death experience.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FG111 (Post 1912687)
Every morning when I wake-up, I always thank God because I am truly blessed that I have my health, my kids are doing well, I live in a lovely community in a lovely new home, have a lovely ( mostly ) spouse and in a great financial position in my life.

But lately as each day passes, I realize that this wonderful dream of life will come to an end. No matter how healthy I eat and no matter how many marathons I still participate in order to maintain a healthy life style in order to maximize my life expectancy, my life will come to an end. Obviously as each day passes, we all become one day older and one day closer to death.

Does anyone think about their inevitable demise and how do you deal with the uncertainty of death? Thanks and be safe.

Take control now of how you want to die ( 5 wishes, a will, a power of attorney, medical power of attorney) Is staying out of pain #1, not being forced to die in a hospital( unless of course it happens in a er) etc. After working in hospice, I can tell you that people choose the moment of death. Many wait to see someone, many wait till everyone goes for coffee...if you are scared,speak to any open minded person who has ever cared for hospice clients. Unless you have a huge religious block that blinds you to what you see in front of you over and over, then anyone that has spent time with the dying will tell you that death is nothing to fear. Only fear is leaving the past( living or life) just as it is scary to walk away from any other part of the past in order to experience the future.

dcc@cohrn.com 03-09-2021 04:47 PM

Here is a link to our Centers for Wellbeing if you are interested

Cornerstone Centers for Wellbeing

DAVES 03-09-2021 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debra Freeman (Post 1912917)
For those that might be worried about being alone, it’s important to have a healthcare directive and you can choose a guardian that you trust before something happens. If you get dementia or become incapacitated, making decisions now, will ensure your wishes are carried out. I know of kind, professional, and compassionate guardians who cam also act as DPOA. If you need references, private message me.

Family experience. A healthcare directive you should discuss with your family. My uncle had a signed DNR. He had a major stroke and was brain dead. Though I was as close to him as I was to my father. His son demanded that the hospital resuscitate him.
I of course said nothing. I could not, would not. My uncle was resuscitated, he died shortly later. Yet, another gray area in the real world.

DAVES 03-09-2021 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stebooo (Post 1913185)
I remember visiting my grandma for her 94th birthday and she had been in a nursing home at that point probably 2 years. She was asleep curled up like a baby not much of a life to live. I said to my dad, who is standing next to me, I don't think I want to live to be 94. His immediate without thinking response was you might want to wait till your 93 to make that call. the wisdom of our parents

I regret that I can no longer honestly ask older people I know to explain jokes about getting old.

I have a friend who buys piles of condolence cards. I asked him not to buy one for me,
I hope it will be yellowed by the time it is needed.


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