The Tone of TOTV and A Bit of Boomer's Bio

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Old 02-19-2021, 06:46 AM
geobet geobet is offline
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Thank you from me, a few years before baby boomers came to be.
Old 02-19-2021, 06:55 AM
FromNY FromNY is offline
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I use to enjoy learning about new things here in The Villages. Once a friendly place. Now after 18years the Kool-aid is flat and tasteless. The area has turned into what I moved away from. And I still miss the majestic Buffalo!
Old 02-19-2021, 06:56 AM is offline
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Another long diatribe, resulting in ........

Never ending.

You will never be able to change anyone’s mind or perspective on things.
Old 02-19-2021, 06:58 AM
DanBrew DanBrew is offline
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OK, guilty on Nextdoor. When I see crotchedy, hateful people complaining and bickering about the simpliest things, I just can't contain my sarcastic side in responding, Life is just too short to not have fun. Enjoy the ride folks and if someone disagrees with you and begins calling you names, that is their problem, not yours.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:06 AM
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jebartle jebartle is offline
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Dear Boomer,

You have always been the voice of reason and kindness, please overlook those mortals that fill their posts with everything but. Like kathy, I also gave up FB for the same reason. The tone has changed but I always hope that with your influence and others, kindness will return.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:19 AM
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dewilson58 dewilson58 is online now
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Originally Posted by Boomer View Post
But had my original impression of TV been the one now often put forth on TOTV, I never would have wanted to buy.
I have debated about whether to write this because I am to the "what's the point" stage.
Impression........ToTV is a 100 posters at most and not what The Villages should know that (obviously many people know this.......they keep'a com'n). ToTV might have thousands of sign-on's, but there a few dozen frequent posters......not a representation of Villagers.

Debated.......Your type of OP happens every year or two. Longer Term posters remember a kinder, gentler time and don't like ToTV today. Make ToTV what you want. Read what you want. Block whom you want. But you should know that.

Looks like you needed to vent & be heard.
Mr. Helpful
Old 02-19-2021, 07:31 AM
Kathy Plato Kathy Plato is offline
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Originally Posted by Boomer View Post
For the past several days, I have watched TOTV descend into a maelstrom, and I am starting to have no hope for the forum that has been a part of many of my mornings since 2007. I am in the habit of giving the opening page a scroll and posting, if finding a topic I want to be a part of.

I am not big on the number of posts. In fact, when I was nearing 100 posts, all those years ago, I sent a PM to Mr. Tony, the owner and admin, asking him to please delete some of them. I laugh about that now, but then, I was blushing to think how habit-forming TOTV was becoming for me.

Now, almost 14 years later, I have barely passed 4000 posts, and I admit, I also find that number to be a bit embarrassing because it represents time I could have used cleaning off my desk. But I have been holding onto the excuse that I write posts like some people crochet or do puzzles -- a hobby.

Like so many of you, I found TOTV when I was looking for anecdotal information about life in TV. I could find advertising, but that was it. A tenacious search led me to TOTV when it was in its infancy. In those days, we had some ups and downs, but the overall tone was helpful -- and often, just plain fun.

I know TOTV has changed owners since, possibly more than once. TOTV sold for the first time in 2011. I am completely serious when I say that had I known in time, I might have bought it. (I could envision possible tax write-offs -- along with maybe using my energy to sell ads from my office-in-the-home or by driving around in my white Honda with the Florida plates to corner the ad market. (I spent 35 years pitching literature so I must have been thinking maybe my experience could have been transferable. sigh)

We eventually bought a house in Hadley. But had my original impression of TV been the one now often put forth on TOTV, I never would have wanted to buy. We kept our Ohio house. Thank goodness.

I have debated about whether to write this because I am to the "what's the point" stage. There are probably those among us who, like me, have noticed that we have lost a lot of our posters who had been contributing helpful posts and fun, too, for a long time. (I think they must be smarter than me because I have been continuing to hang around.)

The overall tone of TOTV this past week has been over-the-top with ugly stuff. Although I do not personally know most of you, I have been horrified to see the deluge of hatred, the bigotry, the complete arrogance -- including the irony of the name-calling that one name-caller, in particular, would see as elitist -- if someone disagreeing would say the same things. I have seen the self-righteous flaunting of a version of "religion" twisted into having nothing to with kindness, mercy, love, and peace. (Remember that guy Jesus?)

I saw a thread, since closed, that brought homophobia to the surface with certain posters -- some of whom surprised me. As a longtime secondary teacher, I have wept for students who have committed suicide because of feeling their homosexuality could never be accepted by their families. I am grateful to see how times have changed for so many people. That has saved, and will continue to save, lives.

This morning -- in the email notice sent out to us a few times a week from TOTV -- there were at least 3 threads headlined that were destined to invite more ugly stuff. I had to wonder if those choices were made by an algorithm or were those kinds of threads chosen on purpose by an actual person -- for a numbers game.

As I end this saga, if you are still reading, may I suggest that you read "Declaration of Conscience" -- a classic speech given by Margaret Chase Smith on June 1, 1950, which she ends by calling out "The Four Horsemen of Calumny -- Fear, Ignorance, Bigotry, and Smear."


PS: I am not kidding myself that anyone will actually do that homework assignment I just gave -- or even kidding myself that this thread will last -- or kidding myself that anybody is still reading this -- but I just had to say my piece -- or was it peace?

PPS: I don't know how that hat-tipping emoji ended up at the beginning of this post. I can't make it go away. I don't know how. So I guess I will just have to consider my hat -- and my hand -- tipped.

PPPS: Damn. And now a smiley face emoji has appeared out of nowhere. I must be bumping stuff because I am on my laptop. Believe you me, I am not smiling right now -- although I do feel better.
I, for one, will read The Four Horsemen! Sadly agree, TV has drastically changed over the 20+ years we’ve been here. However, keep hoping, there are many good people here as well!
Old 02-19-2021, 07:42 AM is offline
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Thanks for posting your thoughts. I could not agree with you more. I am a relatively new poster, only a couple of years, and am approaching the decision to say goodbye to this forum. The ugliness is mind boggling and unacceptable to me. While most of the people I hang out with are the antithesis of this ugliness, I know this ugliness exists everywhere. I know however, I can choose to reject it from my life. I pray my future encounters with people in The Villages continues to include the wonderful people I have met so far and that the people who post the ugliness that must be in their hearts don’t cross my path. There is never, ever, a need to be unkind and ugly to people you don’t know.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:42 AM
rlcooper70 rlcooper70 is offline
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The Villages is a microcosm of our society at large. We are not immune. When you see negative emotions here, it is because of a divisive society developed slowly over many years.

There is no point in pointing fingers at the cause .... and yet there is a sense that our country is comprised of two very different groups - each living in a universe that is absurd to the other.

Even facts are not relevant any longer .... facts are being changed. And there is not even truth in news.

We are a mirror. Doesn't matter where you live.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:45 AM
nick demis nick demis is offline
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Originally Posted by Bucco View Post
For whatever, you made a wise decision.

I have been a nuisance on this subject, but so much “news” is simply junk, out of context, or flat out lies.

The pressure, and insanity living under lies is just plain harmful, to our mental and physical health.

Hearing people say...that’s the way it intolerable. Holding people responsible on forums for lies and misinformation is not simply the job of the moderators.

Our society has been placed under a lot of pressure. I think we sumo,y demand truth, and call out lying
Calling out lying and demanding truth is wrong. What is my truth can be considered a lie by you or vise versa. We need to talk to each other with respect and, if both parties are reasonable, one or both will modify or change their opinion. The worst that should happen is that they respectfully agree to disagree. Time to end the hatred.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:51 AM
rlcooper70 rlcooper70 is offline
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Here you have the idea of different variations of the truth .... that's a fascinating concept. In 2021 we can have truth and alternative truth? What would Socrates say about that? What a concept!
Old 02-19-2021, 07:52 AM is offline
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21 0219 Friday 😷 07:46
re: what’s the point (Boomer)
Post # 0003 (possibly 0004)
I read for the postings rather frequently (but not daily). I enjoy seeing life unfold on ToTV. What a wonderful way to assemble!

re: be around (Kathyspear)
I will be around, presumably. I bought in TV in the third quarter of last year. I am thrilled to be in Florida and thrilled to be a member of this vibrant community.

You folks who have been here a while have made me feel most welcome.
Old 02-19-2021, 07:52 AM
Byte1 Byte1 is offline
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Maybe IF they had a Political forum, there would be less bleed over into every day discussions?
I do not see where the problem is when someone does not agree with a statement. As long as there is no name calling, we are after all, adults. Why is it that folks take it personal when someone does not agree with their view? Have we become that sensitive that we have a need to be agreed with? A good debate is healthy, in my opinion. Why is it that adults want to ban something that they do not agree with, merely because they do not have the ability to walk away from it when it effects them emotionally? If you are on here anonymously, no one can bully you. You simply exit the site and return to your facebook or twitter account. I do not subscribe to either of those, but I am sure there must be a bunch of folks on here that do.
Independent thinkers do not have to agree all of the time with your view. Some folks enjoy being open minded or different. Why ostracize them for not agreeing?
Personally, I enjoy a good discussion, even if it turns into a debate. Life is too short at our age to take something someone says seriously and personally. Isn't it great to hear the opinion of those that do not view things the way you do? How else are you going to learn, grow, improve your knowledge in the subject matter?
Although, I believe that TOTV is a bit on the strict and regimented side, I still enjoy being exposed to differing opinions.
You find it offensive? I find it funny. That's why I am happier than you.
Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.
Be happy, it drives everyone crazy
Old 02-19-2021, 08:02 AM
Bucco Bucco is offline
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Originally Posted by nick demis View Post
Calling out lying and demanding truth is wrong. What is my truth can be considered a lie by you or vise versa. We need to talk to each other with respect and, if both parties are reasonable, one or both will modify or change their opinion. The worst that should happen is that they respectfully agree to disagree. Time to end the hatred.
Mixed bag here.

I will always call out liars, and try to keep discussion based on facts.

A discussion based on lies is not a discussion, it is an attempted stop to a discussion.

Treating folks with respect is certainly a must, but I believe when you offer lies to people, you cannot have any respect for them or anyone for that matter. When you are lied to, either directly or enabling, do you not feel disrespected ?
Old 02-19-2021, 08:05 AM
fcgiii fcgiii is offline
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We are preparing to move to TV next month, stay in a rental until we find our forever home.

I have not noticed as much hatred on TOTV as you have. Maybe it's because living here in the rim of DC we get this sort of thing on TV all the time.

Your suggestion to read Margeret Chase Smith's "Declaration of Conscience" is a good one, and there is a good study guide that pops up when you Google. The analogy to the era of Mccarthyism is imperfect, but there are a lot of similarities between the persecution of people accused of being communists and those today accused of being White Supremecists. Both have rich backers and compliant media.

I don't read TOTV for the politics. I read it to get info on how life is down there where it is warm (most of the time) and we will have a lot to do. In that it has been quite useful, even though a lot of the activities we look for seem to be dormant until the panic dies away.

My two cents worth. Now back to clearing out a house we have lived in for 36 years.
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