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Madelaine Amee 09-19-2018 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582624)
It is a report of facts about what happened, certainly not gossip.

It certainly is gossip when people start enjoying what happened and continually throw the information out there. What for, do you (all of you) really enjoy seeing and reading about someone's pain because if so you might want to find something more interesting to do.

I assume I am going to offend a lot of people with my comments, but I dislike seeing people who need help being made a spectacle in public. We could have just left it that she was escorted out of the restaurant by the police. Instead of which we start looking into her background, searching through the internet, dragging up any and all dirt that can be found on this poor woman. NO I DO NOT KNOW HER, but I was raised to have empathy for the less fortunate in our society. .... and so ends the lesson for today ........

manaboutown 09-19-2018 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1582627)
It certainly is gossip when people start enjoying what happened and continually throw the information out there. What for, do you (all of you) really enjoy seeing and reading about someone's pain because if so you might want to find something more interesting to do.

I assume I am going to offend a lot of people with my comments, but I dislike seeing people who need help being made a spectacle in public. We could have just left it that she was escorted out of the restaurant by the police. Instead of which we start looking into her background, searching through the internet, dragging up any and all dirt that can be found on this poor woman. NO I DO NOT KNOW HER, but I was raised to have empathy for the less fortunate in our society. .... and so ends the lesson for today ........

Why do you not want the public to know the whole story?

fw102807 09-19-2018 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582628)
Why do you not want the public to know the whole story?

If it was you or your family would you want to be dragged through the mud about it? Show some compassion.

Madelaine Amee 09-19-2018 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582628)
Why do you not want the public to know the whole story?

Why would anyone want to know the whole story? I find it difficult enough to think that this poor woman has been seen in public in such a way. Maybe, as a woman who has lived a close to charmed life, it pains me deeply to see someone shown in this light.

Why dig in to this any more. You know she has a problem, fine, let someone help her, but to keep digging and digging into police reports and newspaper articles is beyond my comprehension. It quite frankly makes me sick to think that people actually are enjoying her pain.

That is all I have to say on the subject, because I have to get on with the rest of my day.

Taltarzac725 09-19-2018 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582628)
Why do you not want the public to know the whole story?

Not sure if we need to know the whole story. This is just some woman experiencing some kind of addiction problems or whatever. Really only the business of her friends and family and the legal system if something else is involved.

I am wondering if the moving away from religion in many communities is a problem in all this? I went to BYU Law School on a Merit Scholarship for about ten days in the Fall of 1982. I had a recent covert as a roommate-- a Puerto Rican dance major-- and he wanted to get some points with the local Mormon leaders by getting me to accept the Mormon religion and I needed that time to study for my First Year of law school. I was also still in braces and had a terrible corduroy suit sold to us by a salesman when I went shopping with my Mom.

The Mormon church does take care of its own though and it looked this included members with various kinds of addiction problems. Or at least they try a great deal. Opioid addiction in the heart of Mormon country | CBC Radio

There was a very strict code at BYU as well that controlled intake of many substances. And the people there are very nosy about the conduct of everyone else even if I had a few girls wanting me to try to sneak into the girls' dorm. Which would have probably got me kicked out of BYU, if caught. I was a law student and the Mormon undergraduate girls-- some of them -- were very much there to find a husband. I think I was the only single male in the Class of 1985 at the BYU Law School. There were only 2 or 3 women in my Class that year.

The University of Denver, where I went the next year (starting in May of 1983) to get a MA in Librarianship was often called "Drug University" because of the money of many of the rather rich students and the availability of drugs of all kinds. Quite a change from BYU. It is a Methodist School though but getting involved in the religion was a choice of the student unlike a BYU where you had to attend Mormon services as a BYU student.

graciegirl 09-19-2018 11:19 AM

Those who lecture about not judging are judging. No one can KNOW what is in another's mind or in their heart either. Many people who live here in The Villages have conquered addiction. People who drive impaired can hurt innocent people. Most reasonable people read the telling of these events and think; "There but for the grace of God go I". And then they are more careful for awhile anyway, walking in parking lots and driving in carts. Most reasonable people do not relish another's fall . We are all of us grown up. We have seen drunkenness and addiction either personally or on the news. It is sad and troubling.

manaboutown 09-19-2018 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1582630)
Why would anyone want to know the whole story? I find it difficult enough to think that this poor woman has been seen in public in such a way. Maybe, as a woman who has lived a close to charmed life, it pains me deeply to see someone shown in this light.

Why dig in to this any more. You know she has a problem, fine, let someone help her, but to keep digging and digging into police reports and newspaper articles is beyond my comprehension. It quite frankly makes me sick to think that people actually are enjoying her pain.

That is all I have to say on the subject, because I have to get on with the rest of my day.

Perhaps receiving notoriety is what will lead her to bottom out so she will seek help and clean up her act.

manaboutown 09-19-2018 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by graciegirl (Post 1582636)
Those who lecture about not judging are judging. No one can KNOW what is in another's mind or in their heart either. Many people who live here in The Villages have conquered addiction. People who drive impaired can hurt innocent people. Most reasonable people read the telling of these events and think; "There but for the grace of God go I". And then they are more careful for awhile anyway, walking in parking lots and driving in carts. Most reasonable people do not relish another's fall but we are all grown up. We have seen drunkenness and and addiction either personally or on the news. It is sad and troubling.

:agree:

manaboutown 09-19-2018 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fw102807 (Post 1582629)
If it was you or your family would you want to be dragged through the mud about it? Show some compassion.

"Compassion" can be enabling to addicts. It can enable them to continue on with their substance abuse rather than face up to it and deal with it through AA, NA or treatment centers.

Taltarzac725 09-19-2018 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582639)
"Compassion" can be enabling to addicts. It can enable them to continue on with their substance abuse rather than face up to it and deal with it through AA, NA or treatment centers.

From my family member's experience with AA and the other support groups are all about each member sharing their own experiences and helping one another cope with not taking that next drink or doing the next needle.

I still have the code that allowed me to at least to want to try BYU Law School. So it is usually my other family members who have had other kinds of addiction problems.

I have dropped a relative many times off at an AA meeting of some kind. Or waited outside an AA closed meeting for my relative(s) to get out.

graciegirl 09-19-2018 12:01 PM

...

manaboutown 09-19-2018 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fw102807 (Post 1582642)
And public humiliation can make it worse. This thread is just plain mean and I do not understand why the mods have not taken it down.

Public humiliation is precisely what led a long time very close friend of mine to AA 25 years ago at the age of 65. I was at his 90th birthday party last Saturday. He has not had any alcohol in all that time.

Try attending some open AA meetings. You might be surprised at what it took for some alcoholics to get sober.

Chi-Town 09-19-2018 12:22 PM

Checked out the story and another one about a drunken house party, and all I can think is how these people have lived this long.

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CFrance 09-19-2018 12:48 PM

Did she say, "Yeah, I took all the pills that were in that empty bottle." Maybe they were somebody else's.

I'm not trying to defend her, per se, or deny that she has a problem, but I hate all the supposition that her parents are to blame for enabling her, or that she took the pills in the bottle, or that she has no other mental/physical disabilities that do not allow her to act as a reasonable human being. There is one story in an online newspaper that is notorious for not digging deep for the facts.

graciegirl 09-19-2018 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 1582665)
Did she say, "Yeah, I took all the pills that were in that empty bottle." Maybe they were somebody else's.

I'm not trying to defend her, per se, or deny that she has a problem, but I hate all the supposition that her parents are to blame for enabling her, or that she took the pills in the bottle, or that she has no other mental/physical disabilities that do not allow her to act as a reasonable human being. There is one story in an online newspaper that is notorious for not digging deep for the facts.

None of us know. I am a card carrying mother. I have made leaps to conclusions that may or may not have been fair. Everyone is capable of a lot of things. EVERY ONE of us. As a society we have laws to protect people from harm. Sometimes we have to generalize and make decisions that make us choose to live in a safe area and decide who our friends are. Those choices don't mean we live in a world of hate or disdain or entitlement or bigotry or racism. When we make choices, when we decide these things, we are assessing a situation and getting to a bottom line. We are being practical and realistic. Being realistic has nothing to do with hatred. Nothing to do with bigotry, it is what allows us to survive and has done for thousands of years. When we survive we CAN help others. It is not either or.

CFrance 09-19-2018 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee (Post 1582627)
It certainly is gossip when people start enjoying what happened and continually throw the information out there. What for, do you (all of you) really enjoy seeing and reading about someone's pain because if so you might want to find something more interesting to do.

I assume I am going to offend a lot of people with my comments, but I dislike seeing people who need help being made a spectacle in public. We could have just left it that she was escorted out of the restaurant by the police. Instead of which we start looking into her background, searching through the internet, dragging up any and all dirt that can be found on this poor woman. NO I DO NOT KNOW HER, but I was raised to have empathy for the less fortunate in our society. .... and so ends the lesson for today ........

And a good lesson it is.

manaboutown 09-19-2018 01:12 PM

These statistics about drunk driving are concerning to me. Consider the tragic cost in lives, injuries and property damage caused by drunks, stoners and other substance abusers. Drunk Driving | NHTSA

If this thread will in some manner such as increasing awareness save one life it is worth posting.

fw102807 09-19-2018 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582654)
Public humiliation is precisely what led a long time very close friend of mine to AA 25 years ago at the age of 65. I was at his 90th birthday party last Saturday. He has not had any alcohol in all that time.

Try attending some open AA meetings. You might be surprised at what it took for some alcoholics to get sober.

Public humiliation has also driven some to suicide. It depends on the individual and it is not our call.

manaboutown 09-19-2018 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fw102807 (Post 1582675)
Public humiliation has also driven some to suicide. It depends on the individual and it is not our call.

What may drive them to suicide is their continuing substance abuse as it inevitably ends in incarceration, insanity or death.

graciegirl 09-19-2018 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CFrance (Post 1582671)
And a good lesson it is.

I am very glad we saw her picture in the online news instead of the picture of a dead person that she had run down. It was mentioned she almost hit someone.

Thousands have died from opioid overdose in the last year. THOUSANDS. I would be willing to think she took the pills.

jebartle 09-19-2018 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by manaboutown (Post 1582654)
Public humiliation is precisely what led a long time very close friend of mine to AA 25 years ago at the age of 65. I was at his 90th birthday party last Saturday. He has not had any alcohol in all that time.

Try attending some open AA meetings. You might be surprised at what it took for some alcoholics to get sober.

Life is good here in paradise, drinking can't possibly make it better, can it?

kcrazorbackfan 09-20-2018 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chi-Town (Post 1582595)
When you arrested someone did you have to appear in court for the charge?

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

I did unless they plead out on recommendation of their attorney. There are LEO’s that arrest people on iffy circumstances; I always made sure that I had good, well documented evidence for the arrest.


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