[JourneyOfLife]

This question is for those that relocated to TV from some other state and bought a home and intend to live there permanently.

One of the planning exercises I am going through in retirement is developing a plan for the future if/when my wife and/or I decline and possibly need more help or cannot live independently any longer. Part of it is funding.... but in some ways, that is the easy part (not to diminish the potential high cost). Other issues come into play.

This general issue may be one of the major reasons we might decide to just be seasonal Floridians. I figure if one of us declines and the other is able, they can manage the situation and a general plan of action would help in that regard. But when the survivor declines... now what?

We have gone through this with several parents/family members and some elderly friends. So far none of them had even a rudimentary plan... There are many issues I could cite... but it would digress from my main question. I struggle with how to handle being no where near some family members. Someone may need to take charge. If they have to do it remotely, it just adds one more level of complexity/crisis.

Do you have a plan of action if you or your spouse can no longer get along on their own... need much more assistance (perhaps hands on help) or long-term care.

Do you intend to move back home, stay in TV, move to some other facility in central florida (CCRC, Assisted living, etc)?

Perhaps your TV residential status is timebound and you intend to move back home at a certain age in anticipation of needing help (ahead of it happening).

Does TV provide any sort of service or have affiliated services to help in that regard (so called age in place by using services).

If you are willing to share your plans or ideas, please comment.

Also, if you have related stories of others who faced this sort of challenge, please share those also... just keep it anonymous (no identifying information for their privacy).

Thanks

[Bogie Shooter]

I guess I must be a free spirit.................have never answered all of those, what ifs.

[Uptown Girl]

It seems that one of your primary concerns is the possible scenario of one of you being the lone survivor and declining.

I would assume that if you have a family network of sorts, even out of state, and they are willing to assist in that, you can talk now and come to an understanding about the scope of assistance they can reasonably offer in that scenario. Then everyone will be on the same page.

If you have specific wishes or criteria you want met, you must be clear with them about your desires and allow them that knowledge ahead of time, so they know what will be expected of them, should they agree. This also speaks to living wills and the like.

Even if everything is agreed ahead of time, remember that life circumstances can change. One may be willing and able in the present, but unable for whatever reason later in time. Unforeseen circumstances may happen down the road, preventing the original plan.

Being sensible and prepared is good, if it allows for alternatives, should one path become unavailable. It can serve to lessen anxiety somewhat. Only you can let that go.
We do know that our medical coverage will continue to be re-defined, so there is no absolute we can be assured of for our duration. We can't steer THAT boat, no matter how we try to plan.

If holding two residences to have a place to go back to (to facilitate assistance) is a consideration, understand that it can become an additional burden to govern, for yourself and/or others who assist, if your health commands your primary attention.
Whatever you choose, may you find a path that serves you well and gives you and your spouse a good gut feeling.

[graciegirl]

With the help of each other, of family and friends and God...we will cross each bridge as we come to it just as we have done all of our lives.

We have saved and planned for a lot of emergencies but hope and expect to live here forever.

[rayschic]

We have no set plan. We have lived in TV for 7 years and plan on staying here and continuing to enjoy life every day. No time to worry about the "what if" situations.
They may or may not happen. IF the situation occurs, then I will decide what to do, where to go, etc. My husband had a massive heart attack many years ago. He is fine now but all the planning in the world cannot change what can happen in an instant. Enjoy TODAY and let tomorrow handle itself.

[rubicon]

My long term plan for TV is simply staying alive". Actually we have proceeded with developing a living trust including health directives, etc. We both have health regime and we both have detailed our wishes when we pass. However have said all of that we are aware that no matter how well you prepare you are not ever prepared for what is going to occur.

[2BNTV]

I plan to get by with a little help from my friends, If not, I will ask for help thru medicare day services or just go to a nursing home as a last resort. I am hoping to be lucky like my mom who lived with little assistance until she passed away.

It is something I will deal with as time goes on.

[billethkid]

For many of us the terminolgy of reference "move back home" is not applicable as TV is our home.

All our plans revolve around how we live and our needs today and as they change there is ample support here to adjust to what ever level of support/care/assistance.

I would also bet there is more potential for finding that assiatnce/support/care in TV than in most places that are called home by non FL, non TV residents.

I for one can not, could not imagine any advantage to going back to long hard stay indoors winter weather.....that is why we have made TV our home.

btk

[gomoho]

My biggest concern is having to go to a facility and not having a family member checking in. I currently have my mom in memory care and am grateful I can go any time of day or night and just drop in - they never know when I am coming. I am frequently advocating for her and wonder how those who have no one manage. And yes we moved her from her home in Ohio so we could be part of that care.

[ilovetv]

One of the reasons we moved here is so that our children can enjoy the place during school vacations or if we wind up in need of their help/care for a few weeks or months in the future.

It's awfully depressing and morbid to think of having to go back up to the dark, frozen tundra up north to help/care for our parents if/when they need it. Up there, there is nothing for us to do, but here everything is set up for newcomers and short-term-stay visitors (like our adult children) to have plenty of things to do in the sunshine, and it's easy to meet people to do things with. Not so in the frozen north.

[JourneyOfLife]

Originally Posted by billethkid

.---

I would also bet there is more potential for finding that assiatnce/support/care in TV than in most places that are called home by non FL, non TV residents.
---
btk

You could be correct about the support mechanisms around TV, that was one of the things I hoped to learn about.


What are others doing?

[Bogie Shooter]

Originally Posted by JourneyOfLife

You could be correct about the support mechanisms around TV, that was one of the things I hoped to learn about.


What are others doing?

Suggest you plan a visit to The Villages to really see what it is all about. Lifestyle, support mechanisms, etc.

[Cantwaittoarrive]

I'm a frog

[asianthree]

I am now talking care of a parent, who needs care 24/7...I am not in TV..Its a long day between my house, my parents and working 50hours plus a week...Our child helps as much as possible, but has a family of their own...My hope is that i will be in TV when i come to this time in my life so my children and grandchildren do not have to do the same for me...i will be far enough away that I will hire someone, I do not wish this burden to be put on them...just what i have planned for me

[Bizdoc]

We (DW and I) have actually spent a fair amount of time considering the same questions which you raise. Last summer, DW's prognosis after a catastrophic fall was walker for life, probably needing assisted living. We started looking at CCRCs and had more or less decided that was the route which needed to take.

We came down to TV in November to (1) visit a friend who lives here and (2) look at Freedom Pointe. on the way down, we had spent 3 days looking at CCRCs in the Durham, NC area. We realized that we were 15+ years younger than the other residents of almost every CCRC that we looked at. Betsy looked at me and said, "let's look at some houses". We ended up buying about a week later.

What made us choose TV? well, we looked at the number of home health care agencies. Also looked at the number of assisted living and nursing homes in the area (which is considerable). Looked at medical resources within 3 hours of here.

Without kids or living siblings, there isn't a "home" to go back to. We came here because (unlike the CCRCs), we saw happy, smiling people who were busy living and doing. Decided that we might as well live until we die. We have made some plans for the future and need to make more. Because of our circumstances, we will be retaining a CPA to manage our financial affairs when we become unable to do so. If we need assisted living or nursing home, we'll pick one out.

Oh yeah, Betsy's recovery is almost complete, amazing her doctors (who thought she would be permanently disabled). While she will always have some limitations from her injuries, she's back to about 95% of her old self and hasn't needed her walker since early January.