[Madelaine Amee]

My husband has just had a birthday. We have two sons who run their own businesses and are extremely busy. This year they both opted to send their Father digital birthday cards and I can tell that he is not impressed. He is not a techy, and they KNOW this, and I know he would much sooner have had a card telling him that he is the best Father in the whole world than a digital card on the computer.

Interested in your opinion on this. Is he being overly sensitive, or are they being uncaring?

So how would you handle this?

[jane032657]

At least they remembered. It is how adult kids are, they are not into the Hallmark moment. Maybe daughters more so. The bigger question is, did they use their cell phone and call and say Happy Birthday as well? If so, the digital birthday card does not matter. But at least they sent something and that is the good news.

[Madelaine Amee]

Originally Posted by jane032657

At least they remembered. It is how adult kids are, they are not into the Hallmark moment. Maybe daughters more so. The bigger question is, did they use their cell phone and call and say Happy Birthday as well? If so, the digital birthday card does not matter. But at least they sent something and that is the good news.

Yes, he did get the phone call. Thanks for your opinion. I tend to agree with you, but he is very old school.

[ColdNoMore]

Originally Posted by Madelaine Amee

Yes, he did get the phone call. Thanks for your opinion. I tend to agree with you, but he is very old school.

I've told my three adult children to save their money on the over-priced birthday/Christmas cards (as well as a gift) and a nice long telephone chat...is preferable.

[retiredguy123]

Sorry, but I agree with your husband. Being busy is no excuse. Even a paper card is not acceptable, unless it contains a hand written note. I especially hate those cards that have a long message written by a professional card writer, and the sender just signs it.

[dewilson58]

I've used them for last-minute, I almost forgot, birthdays.


My thought.........better than nothing, but not sure how the birthday boy/girl felt.

[jane032657]

To help cheer your husband up, tell him he got phone calls and not texts. Phone calls take real time. And they are personal. Hearing the voice of your child no matter how old is the best next thing to being there.

[blueash]

I've told my children to feel free to ignore my birthday. They had nothing to do with it. However I do expect some acknowledgment of father's day which is the day that honors our relationship. I similarly do not feel any obligation to celebrate "mother's day" with my children who are mothers or "father's day" with my children who are fathers. A digital card is fine. Your kids live in a digital world. It is how they communicate. They don't ever buy a stamp or have any idea where the nearest mailbox might be located. You raised them to be independent and capable of living in the modern world. That might mean now, no paper cards. Congratulations you did a good job with your children. It certainly is ok to say to them, "I'm old school and a mailed personal note is my preferred birthday card." They may have no idea anyone feels that way. Certainly none of their friends do. So don't be hurt and decide if you care enough to gently mention your preference for next time.

[ColdNoMore]

Originally Posted by jane032657

To help cheer your husband up, tell him he got phone calls and not texts. Phone calls take real time. And they are personal.

Hearing the voice of your child no matter how old is the best next thing to being there.

AND talking to the grandchildren.

[retiredguy123]

To excuse young people by saying that digital cards are the way they communicate misses the point. Obviously, they didn't communicate effectively to the person they were trying to communicate with.

[Rapscallion St Croix]

Young people are so attuned to cyber communication that us old folks can use that to our advantage. When my granddaughter got her Masters Degree, we gave her a handwritten card of congratulations. She obviously did not read it because the enclosed sizable check never got cashed.

[New Englander]

I agree with your hubby. I wouldn't like it at all.

[JoMar]

Getting anything from anybody today is different then we grew up. I believe that when kids send cards, digital or hard cards, it's out of obligation, not because of a lot of thought. We also, have told the kids and grand kids to not send cards just because tradition says they should. We do talk to the kids a couple times a month and the older the grand kids get the better they communicate. Now we even occasionally get a digital card, not because it's a traditional send a card day, but because they thought of us on a random day. I think the traditional send a card day is our generation and if we get one it's the kids and grand kids attempt to patronize us and probably took them a few seconds to pick it out. Would like to be something else but I don't think so.

[jblum315]

I say it’s a failure in communication

[retiredguy123]

I really don't like paper greeting cards, especially the ones that are expensive and have long winded phony words. I think that a cheap, blank card with a personal, hand written message is much more desired and effective. But, I don't believe that you can even compare digital cards to paper ones. It's apples to oranges. To me, digital cards will never replace paper greeting cards because they don't convey genuine sincerity.