DRY HEAT!

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  #1  
Old 01-25-2008, 03:17 PM
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DugCave DugCave is offline
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Default DRY HEAT!

Dear Diary:

May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least its kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and ****s. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. I'm gonna kill the next guy that says, "But it's a dry heat!" Yeah, so's a freakin' oven!

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature all the way down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do **** for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freakin' Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes."

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  #2  
Old 01-25-2008, 03:34 PM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

I lived in Apache Junction and Scottsdale, AZ for a number of summers. Think you missed the sand storms, rattlesnakes, and the gila monsters.
  #3  
Old 01-25-2008, 09:39 PM
chuckster chuckster is offline
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

DugCave...................Hilarious............Tha nks
  #4  
Old 01-26-2008, 03:21 AM
lm01 lm01 is offline
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Great Post thanks
  #5  
Old 01-26-2008, 05:22 AM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Arizona sounds lovely, Great spot to dump nuclear waste , or was that Nevada , I forget, It was one of those tropical spots....
Had a cousin who lived in Seattle , He was always after me to move out there , One day I said "What about all this rain I hear about on the tube." and he replied " Yes but its a DRY rain and you don't even notice it "

You villagers should try to visit there before it slides into the Pacific............ dry behind the ears fumar ;D ;D ;D
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2008, 05:31 AM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Taltarzac
I lived in Apache Junction and Scottsdale, AZ for a number of summers. Think you missed the sand storms, rattlesnakes, and the gila monsters.
Tal:

You forgot scorpions!

I was visiting a friend in the foothills near Tucson and he was telling me that they had to call the fire department if a gila monster showed up in their yard, and to shake out my shoes in the morning so that I didn't get stung by a scorpion. I spent the whole time there with my hands up by my shoulders hoping that I wouldn't get bit by some critter.
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  #7  
Old 01-26-2008, 04:49 PM
gonzy gonzy is offline
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Was in LV and Arizona in July 05 and saw a neat t-shirt it was a skeleton with the heading but it's a DRY HEAT. We went to an outdoor dinner one evening it was 106 in the shade It was HOT!
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  #8  
Old 01-27-2008, 12:52 AM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

When I announced to our friends in MI that we were transplanting here to FL, A friend sent me an email like this. Only her email had references pertaining to FL. I am searching my files and when I find it, I will post.
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  #9  
Old 01-27-2008, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

A few years back I was about to start a round of golf at a course in Tucson. The starter told us to skip the 6th. hole. No explanation as to why. So I asked what the problem was(having paid for 18 holes I expected an answer). He said there were rattlesnakes on the green. Needless to say we skipped the 6th. OH, and you don't go looking for your ball in the "rough".
  #10  
Old 01-27-2008, 02:31 AM
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Default I Was There Last January And...

...just about froze my buns off! We wanted to drive up and see Sedona but couldn't go there because of snow on the highway. We attended a great art fair in Scottsdale but couldn't get thru the whole thing without stopping inside and buying some hot chocolate. In January I would have appreciated a little bit of the heat you described. Then we tried to drive down to Tucson but were stopped on the highway by an Immigration Department roadblock. There were as many Mexicans backed up coming north as there were Americans heading south. What a screwed up state. Give me The Villages anytime...love bugs and all!
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  #11  
Old 01-27-2008, 04:37 PM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

The only good thing that comes to mind about Arizona is Sheriff Joe Arpaio (spelling?).
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  #12  
Old 01-28-2008, 02:13 AM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jjdees
The only good thing that comes to mind about Arizona is Sheriff Joe Arpaio (spelling?).

And Barrett-Jackson Auction

Zoom Zoom Zoom
  #13  
Old 01-28-2008, 02:38 PM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Amen to that F16. I'd love to go to the auction one of these days. I think they have one in south Florida too.
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  #14  
Old 01-28-2008, 02:46 PM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

And to think I actually considered moving to Pebble Creek in Goodyear, AZ before I found "mecca". Now I can say "Is it humid enough for ya?"
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  #15  
Old 01-28-2008, 09:21 PM
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Default Re: DRY HEAT!

Visited Phoenix a few years back on Vacation. We stayed in a beautiful Marriott resort with a gorgerous olympic size swimming pool. It was 107 that day and couldnt wait to get back to take a dip to cool off! There wasant a soul in the pool and so we decided to jump in! :yikes: What a surprise, .......
We jumped out as fast as we jumped in, the water was unbearably hot and the pool was unusable. So much for Arizona!
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